[jenand22]

Do you use first names, Mom, Dad, Grandma, etc?

[mom2GRLC]

We use Bparents first names and everyone else goes by their title and first name.
like grandma mary and aunt kathy etc...

[Tudu]

We made sure to let them pick out their special names and told our family they couldn't use a name selected by them so there would be no confussion. Nana, Pop Pop, Other Mother, Other Father, Poppy, and Grandma.

Our families chose Gorges (gorgeous, she really goes by this name), PaPa, MaMa, and Grandpa Joe.

[wlbooklady]

Our son calls his birthmother JessicaMama and her mother Nana, at her request.

[dtmom2b]

We are beginning to struggle with this one too. Our situation is VERY open but I am having a struggle with Bfamily calling each other Aunts and Uncles.... we love the Bmom and her family but the Bfather family never agreed with the adoption and I guess I am feeling funny with them wanting all Bfather sisters to be called "aunts". Where do you draw the line with the BFamilies? DH and I were talking we are a little confused with ALL the families, can you imagine out DS will be when he gets a little older??
Don't get me wrong these are wonderful people but I am starting to feel funny with all the "name calling"

[blessedbybug]

We call Bug's birthmom by her first name (at her request). Her two birthsisters are by their first names. Her birthgrandparents are Gramma B & Grampa T. We don't have relnships with anyone else at this point.

[jaydensmommy]

In the days of step-families, there are a lot of aunts-uncles, step-aunt's, and with blended families, half-sisters/half-brothers, etc, and that gets complicated too, but it can be explained to a child and children are more resiliant. With adoption, it's similar, except for stepfamily being extended family, it's birthfamily that's the extended family if that's what everone chooses. If they are brought up knowing this person as aunt, uncle, etc, grandma, grandpa, birthmom, birthdad (or whatever name you choose), it will more than likely be normal for him/her.

Both my sisters have children that call some unrelated people aunt and uncle. These are very good friends of the family and have always been known as uncle or aunt to the children and the children know they're not related biologically but still continue to call them aunt/uncle, as that is what they were brought up with and it's a term of endearment (sp?). No two families are the same and each of us makes the choices as we feel comfortable and as we feel are best for our children.

[LisaCA]

hi,

dd is only 16 months, but we have a photo album for her (small portable plastic one she likes to look at) and go over the names with her each day. All will keep their kinship titles except for bmom and bdad, who have become "bema" and "beda". So her bgrandparents are still grandparents, her cousins are cousins, baunts are aunts and so on. Since we don't like the use of first names of adults by children, she will always use their honorific title "Bema X" and "auntie X" and so on. Since greatgrandparents are alive, we'll call them bgrandparents too.

what we have done is graft those family trees onto ours, so all relatives are still her relatives.

[tobeafamily]

Like Lisa,

Bema = birth mom
Beda = birth dad
Aunt T, Oma, Grandpa G, etc.

Regina

[mn125]

Originally Posted by jenand22

Do you use first names, Mom, Dad, Grandma, etc?

I am an adoptee from a closed adoption, and so, unfortunately, my aparents consider themselves to be my "only" mother and father.

I am reunited with my original family (unbeknownst to my afamily) and I use the term(s) Mom, Momma, Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, Uncle, and cousin when speaking of them as if I would have had I grown up with them.

At this time in my life, I have been included as family within my hubbys clan almost twice as long as I had been in my adoptive "only" family. They are a very blended group! My dearest Mother-in-law has been married several times (we just call her Liz LOL)

But it is at this time of year, I have my fondest memories of Christmas gatherings of family with her. She and her current husband have in the past made arrangements for 3 former husbands, including my husbands 1st father, their current wives, and all their children to gather under her roof for an entire week at Christmas. As only the Grinch could relate- my heart grew ten times that Christmas morning, as dh made his way around the breakfast table patting each man on the back and saying "Good Morning Dad" "Good Morning Dad" "Good Morning Dad" ect LOL. Each of these men had parented my husband at some point during his life. His relationship was strong enough with each of them to feel secure enough to call them each Dad. There were no hurt feelings, or issues of ownership as in "I am your only father". It opened my heart and mind to having more than one......and to ponder- is there really such a thing as an EX-mother and EX-father?

[Dmommab]

We use Mommy Barb & Daddy "Bear" (dad's nickname) for our two. Our son was 3 when he came into foster care with us & we have since adopted him so he very much remembers them as "mom" and "dad" so we didn't want to change that since they are his bio parents. Grandparents are just Grandma & Grandpa because my husband & my parents are deceased so they are the only grandparents they have.

[sneezyone]

Originally Posted by mn125

But it is at this time of year, I have my fondest memories of Christmas gatherings of family with her. She and her current husband have in the past made arrangements for 3 former husbands, including my husbands 1st father, their current wives, and all their children to gather under her roof for an entire week at Christmas. As only the Grinch could relate- my heart grew ten times that Christmas morning, as dh made his way around the breakfast table patting each man on the back and saying "Good Morning Dad" "Good Morning Dad" "Good Morning Dad" ect LOL. Each of these men had parented my husband at some point during his life. His relationship was strong enough with each of them to feel secure enough to call them each Dad. There were no hurt feelings, or issues of ownership as in "I am your only father". It opened my heart and mind to having more than one......and to ponder- is there really such a thing as an EX-mother and EX-father?

OT but MN, your story warms the cockles of my heart. It sounds a lot like my own family. My dad and mom divorced but dad remarried 5 years ago (altho he and stepmom were together a lot longer than that). Anyhoo - for my sister's HS graduation last year it was dad, stepmom, mom, half-bro who my mom helped raise (from a 3rd woman), grandma (mom's mom), me, dh and assorted people from mom's church...we had THE BEST TIME together!!! I tell ya, I have ex-aunts and ex-uncles who've been divorced more than half my life who are welcomed at every family gathering!! A couple years back, my aunt introduced her ex and his wife this way, "This is one of my very best friends, Jane, and this is her husband, my ex, John. Together we share a daughter, Jill." Aren't families like this great?? DH's family is so totally insulated, not at all like mine...no worries tho - we've adopted DH warts and all!