Difficult relationship with Bmother can anyone relate??

drama mama · #1 05-26-2005, 07:31 AM

I read so many wonderful heart warming stories of Aparents
with the bparents. I am sad that ours has developed into such a mess. There are so many lies and deception. It's a long story. But I was hoping to find others who have dealt and resolved conflicts with Bparents. We have read books on Open adoption.. so wish ours was as simple as the stories of the book.

-broken hearted mama

Jensboys · #2 05-26-2005, 07:42 AM

Drama = are you able to give us more details so that we can give you some practical advice?

I know it can be hard when the relationships are not what you envisioned but the most important thing you must remember is that one day you will be accountable to the child for the relationship and must be able to explain and discuss the REASONS why the relationship with his birthparents was strained. Thats the biggest and best piece of advice I can give aparents - docuement your reasons and ALWAYS operate with integrity because your harshest judge is NOT going to be the birthparents, its going to be the child.

Jen

drama mama · #3 05-26-2005, 07:59 AM

Sorry to be so vague.. We are in a legal battle with the birthfather.. still trying to walk out an open adoption with the birthmother. Our situation is unique so I wanted to hear how others resolved conflict.

bromanchik · #4 05-26-2005, 02:16 PM

All relationships are complicated, but oipen adoption brings with it a whole new set of complexities. Can I ask how the birthparents lied? Are they still lying to you?

drama mama · #5 05-27-2005, 07:57 AM

I apologize for being vague but I cannot disclose the details
Birthmother has lied to us, continues to defend Bfather who is fighting the adoption. Yet she expects us to continue phone calls and visits.

bromanchik · #6 05-27-2005, 08:45 AM

If you want to talk privately, pm me. It is hard to discuss something when there are no details.

drama mama · #7 06-16-2005, 01:55 PM

I was desiring to hear how others have walked out conflict within their relationships with birthparents. Not specifically wanting advice to my situation. IS there anyone out there who has had difficult moments, or a difficult start to their relationship with the birthparents but walked through it and is now on the other side. I would love to hear some examples.

2Bulgarianbeauties · #8 06-16-2005, 03:53 PM

Darma, see the following thread. I got a message from Teesah, while I cannot give the details, the summary is that she laid down the law, and she has set consequences for breaking the rules, and it worked.

bmom wants my daughter in family pictures w/her other children

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