[AMom2Two]

Hi everyone.

Birthmother's Day is next Saturday and we have a visit scheduled for our daughters bmom to come to our home. My dh will be picking them up as they do not have a car and have very little money. This is only our 2nd visit in 4 years as our daughter's bmom is still having a hard time dealing with this.

I was wondering what gifts others would be sharing with their children's bmom or what you would like to receive if you were a bmom? I don't want to make her uncomfortable, I just want to show her how much we care for her and her son.

All thoughts will be appreciated!

[rebeccasusan]

last year, I sent my sons bmom a little gift basket with some fun stuff...lotion, stationary, pen, candy, etc and also a framed photo of the baby...just a variety of fun stuff. Last year her bday also fell on mother's day, so it was kind of a combo gift. I actually dont do the whole birthmother's day thing, we just do regular mothers day. This year, I am not sure what to send. I am thinking of sending flowers, becasue that is something people dont often pamper themselves with. I was also thinking of doing one of those ceramic places where you paint and fire pottery, and let him do his handprints on a plate or vase or something...i try to do more sentimental stuff , ie. a lock of hair from his first hair cut, a little sleeper he outgrew, etc, and she really appreciates that type of thing. But, if your child's bmom is struggling with the adoption decision, these types of things may make it more difficult, its hard to say. It is hard, becasue I know that after we first had our son, his bmom was still in school, and i know probobly was having some economic challenges, so i would always give very practical gifts, i.e. Walmart gift cards, etc., but in a way that felt kind of weird to me.

[Alexandra C]

Iwould have liked to receive a card. Just something to show that I still have a part in things. That I still matter and that I'm important, too. This was my first Mother's Day and every day this week I checked my mailbox anxiously awaiting a card but it was always empty. I sent the amom a card. Even though it was hard I am truly grateful that she is giving my twin boys what I couldn't. Afterall, that's what's most important. Thanks for remembering your child's bmom this Mother's Day.

[dkb60]

I really don't want something on birthmother's day. That just isolates me from the experience even more. Just acknowledge me in some way on Mother's Day. I understand that I am not "raising" this child but I can by the simplest definition of mother celebrate that I did give birth to the child.

D.

[looksee1]

Yes, you did. You are a mother too.