[Annie Lee]

I would appreciate words of advise from any of you with expeience in a similair situation.

We now have two wonderful children, we just return from being at the birth of our son .

We also have a amazing 2 & 1/2 year old little girl .

We have an open relationship with our son's birthmother and even have some contact with the rest of his birthfamily.

We have no contact from daughter's birth family.

Also another factor to know when offereing advise our children are both black and my husband and I are not.

My question is what will be the best way to support Lydia in her need to understand her adoption and birth family when I know nothing and how can I minimize the lose she may feel as a result of that, especially since her brother will most likely have involvement from his birth family. I also wonder how this will be further complicated with the difference in race as our son will have a black birth family and daughter will not.

Also this has relite my desire to find our daughter's birthmother does anyone have experience with this? I would like to contact her for our benefit and I would hope for her's ,just to let her know that Lydia is happy and healthy. Her last name is Smith which will not help any.

I would enjoy hearing your experiences and thoughts.