[JoshGuat]

My sister died a few years ago and my nephews girlfriend is pregnant. My nephew has said that she definitely wants to put the baby up for adoption with us. That is his only option as he can not take care of the baby on his own. She has a child from a previous relationship and is not in a position to take care of, as her parents are taking care of that child at this time. Her parents have said they will not do anymore for her and she would have to place the child or raise both on her own. She is not interested or able to do so.

He wants the baby to go to us, since we are family and he can still see the child from time to time. (They live states away) He said that she is interested in us adopting but justs wants to meet us, so that she is not giving the baby over to a stranger. There hasn't been any solid commitments of working with an agency or attorney at this time. I suppose it is because she has not met me, or perhaps is not thinking about it just yet.

Since she lives in another state, and she is financially unable to afford an attorney, what are the options? Does she go to an adoption agency, and we go to one to get the home-study and an attorney for the adoption? etc? What is the least expensive and best route to take in our situation?

Also, has anyone ever been in this situation where you had to get a homestudy with the possibility that they may change their mind etc? It is expensive to get the paperwork and clearances done and then to think it may fall through. Just curious what anyone did or thought etc?

[JSAUNTIE]

I would say to talk to an attorney but often times you may not need a full homestudy as you are a relative. We had a quick study done when we got placement of our nephew from the state and it was accepted by the judge. And often times if they are willing to sign it will not cost you much to have a lawyer file everything for you! If our BD would have signed it would have been like 1500.00 but no they are dragging it out soooo we are pushing 6500.00 and I am sure we will hit 10,000.00 before we are done!!!!!!!!!!!

[hkolln]

I'd ask an attorney first. You may need one and if you want it all to be legal I would make sure paperwork is done too. And don't go for guardianship...go for adoption.

[JoshGuat]

I was able to find an attorney in both states. There is a wonderful organization that has attorneys who know how to do the ICPC American Academy of Adoption Attorneys - Home
I had no idea there was such a group until I started looking for an attorney who really knows about the ICPC process. I am amazed of how wonderful both attorneys were. The ICPC has specific standards that requires my husband and I to have a home study. I have someone who works for an agency who will do the HS. If we finalize the adoption in the birth mothers state we do not have to have post placement, only our state requires one. We have started the clearances for the HS and the HS packet will be here in a few days and then we will start that process.

Aside from all the legal stufff......I am so touched....the birth mother has told me that she really wants me to be there when she has the baby. I am not sure if that is what most people do, but that really touched me when she asked.

Thank you all for your advice on what to do for the paper work stuff.

[hkolln]

Good news! Keep us updated!