[hallelujahmomma]

After 4 Very Long Years, We Have Finally Been Able To Adopt My Greatniece. In The Beginning, Her Biological Grandparents Asked The Court For One Weekend A Month Visits. All Along Cps Has Told Us That After The Adoption That It Would Be Up To Us If We Wanted These Visits To Continue. Well, At The Adoption Yesterday, We Find Out That Those Visits Are To Continue. It's Not That I Am Against Grandparents Rights, But These Grandparents Have Allowed Her Access To Her Mother Who Is A Known Drug User Which Is Totally Against The Court Orders. Our Lawyer Says We Have To Have Recent Proof That This Is Going On. In My Heart, I Know That This Is Not A Safe Environment For My Child. What Can I Do To Get This Order Amended?

Sold Out By Cps In Texas

[prayn4baby]

How sad that the people who are supposed to protect children still put them in horrible situations. Do you have proof of drug use? If so, I'd encourage you to go to court and have their rights revoked, they are her grandparents but obviously they are not doing what is in her best interest. Good luck & hope all can be resolved.

[Hadley2]

Does the adoption order specifically state that visits must continue? Does it state that visits must continue with X and X called out by name or "biological grandparents"? If they are not named and it does not say "biological", how is it said?

Did you not have your own attorney representing you? Who wrote the adoption orders for the judge to sign?

[hallelujahmomma]

Yes, the adoption papers state that the visits will continue.

It states the name of the biological grandmother.


Yes our attorney was present. He told us that he didn't know that she had visitation, but we told hime when we first talked to him that she did and that we wanted the visits to stop when we adopted.

i'm not sure who drew up the adoption papers.

[bethy724]

You were sold out by the family Court Judge that allowed that to be in the adoption paperwork - sounds like CPS is at fault but the Judge allowed it.

I really wish the person with the most education, paycheck & authority were held accountable for allowing injustices. I am sorry for your situation - it should have never been approved by the Judge.

If your lawyer didn't know what was in the adoption paperwork tell him/her you don't knwo where his/her payment is. What was he/she paid to do - I would think it would be to read the paperwork! In my adoption case MY lawyer drew up the papers.

[Hadley2]

Originally Posted by bethy724

In my adoption case MY lawyer drew up the papers.

Same here. That is what the adoption attorney is for. It doesn't sound as if yours did anything to earn a fee--if he didn't file the petition and orders, he shouldn't be paid for doing nothing. If he didn't even know what was in the orders, he ought to be guilty of malpractice.

Frankly, I'm not convinced such an order is even legal. It interferes with your parental rights and is essentially an order to endanger the baby. I think it is what lawyers call "an undue burden." An adoption is not a custody arrangement. It is a legal birth. No one can order you to associate a birthchild with a particular person who is not their legal parent or, in some states, grandparent. Therefore it makes no sense to me that such a condition can be written into an adoption order or that it would be enforceable.

It is unfortunate that the order does not specifically say the word "grandparents" because those people are not, legally, grandparents anymore.

It is unfortunate that you agreed to this condition by not objecting to it in court. You could have. Still, since it endangers the child, I am not sure that you will ultimately be bound by it. Adoption is not a "deal" in the way a custody arrangement is.

There is a big difference between being willing to try contact and being ordered to have contact whether or not, in your best judgment as a parent, it is in the best interest of the child or even a safe situation for the child.

If I were you, I would find another lawyer asap who can get you out of this pickle. It could be you can simply ignore that part of the order and wait and see if grandmother challenges you--but ask a lawyer about that first and have the lawyer ready in the wings if she does. If it were me, I'd want to get it thrown out as soon as possible to eliminate having that cloud over my head, but there may be more prudent ways to go. A GOOD lawyer--NOT the one you have now, that is not a good lawyer--will be able to guide you.

I hope it all resolves well and you have a safe and healthy life with your child.

[JustCourtney]

I am so sorry that your attorney did not do his job, and that you were surprised this way.

You stated that you were not objecting to contact with the grandparents, but to the fact that they continued to allow contact with the bmom when she is with them, correct? Your first priority has to be the well being and safety of your child - that goes without saying. However, there is also the mental health and emotional well being to considered as well. I am sure your daughter loves her grandparents, and having them suddenly gone from her life would certainly be a loss for her. Perhaps there is a way that you can compromise? Maybe you can have them come to your home to spend time with your child? How about you all go to lunch, or to the zoo, someplace where you have some control over who is there? I would think that if they truly want to have a relationship, they will find a way that you can all agree on.

I hope that you can find a way to keep everyone safe and happy.

[hallelujahmomma]

Believe me when I say that this "grandmother" is a twisted piece of work. I have known her for over 25 years. The desire to have her out of our child's life is not a knee jerk reaction. Here are just a few details about her....
1. When she first met our first case worker, she told her all about the numerous times she'd been married and how her third husband beat her up the day before their wedding, so that night when he went to sleep she took a baseball bat and beat him with it and still married the guy! Maybe that's why my niece ( our child's bio mom) has gone from one bad relationship after another. Our child's bio dad was in prison and a member of the Aryian Brotherhood. The guy she was with when CPS stepped in was the one who beat our precious child and the last guy we knew of that she was with was arrested for attempted murder. But this grandmother never has accepted any responsibility for her behavior.

2. When her oldest daughter was young she'd take her bar hopping to meet men. This daughter even told my mother that she knew her mother was the reason that my niece (our child's bio mom) was so messed up.

3. Last year for three months our child refused to go to her house crying and begging me not to make her go, (she was 4 at the time) so I called our caseworker and asked what to do, she told me that I didn't have to make her go, so I didn't, until the grandmother had her lawyer threaten us that if we didn't make her go, he'd arrange it where we'd have to take and drop her off at the sheriff's office. So, CPS made us resume the visits.

4. Our child has told us over the past two years that her grandmother has told her that she didn't have to do anything we told her. We got our chld when she was just 18 months old and after 9-10 months she started referring to us as "mommy & daddy", this grandmother told her over and over that we weren't her mom and dad. Our precious little one was so confused.

5. After one visit late last year our child started having nightmares. When we finally got her to open up and talk to us, she told us that on her visit that her grandmother had left her alone in her car with her 7 year old cousin while she went into a store.

6. Just a few months ago, the grandmother allowed our child to call us while on her visit. Our child started crying and begging us to come and get her. I tried to get the grandmother to let us come and get her, but she refused.

7. My brother who was married to her about 23 years ago for about 2 years was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and had to have most of his colon removed. When she found out he was in the hospital, she went to see him and he said the only reason she came was to find out who the beneficiary of his life insurance was. Which in itself is dispicable, but then she sent my niece (our child's bio mom) to ask him again even though he had already told her that he had no life insurance.

8. Our child was in therapy (something I had to fight CPS for) for the last two years because of all the turmoil this woman caused.

I could go on and on, but call me crazy but I don't my child anywhere near her!

They told us at the adoption that she was ours now just like I had given birth to her (believe me that's something for a 54 yr. old woman to do). But to us, she's always been ours. The fundamental responsibility of a parent is to love and protect their child, but the court has taken that from us.

I may end up in jail, but our child is not going to be subjected to this anymore. Now when she gets older and decides she wants to pursue a relationship with this grandmother, then I will support her, but as for now I'm going to do what I have to to keep her safe physically, mentally and emotionally.

We just want to be a family!

[Mom2J]

Okay, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the adoption attorney IS the one that wrote up the adoption papers, but he's not the judge that decides what to write in his orders. These are two separate documents. The judge can "order" anything he wants, if he "thinks" that's best. (Even if you asked for the visitation to stop.) Don't shoot the attorney just yet.

Now, you may have some recourse. What exactly does the court order state in regard to continued grandparent visitation post adoption? With this, we can know exactly how to proceed. You can PM me the exact wording written on the order and I can give advice regarding this.

Mom2J
PS- I'm not an attorney, but with all of our legal situations regarding adoption, I've gotten very good at reading adoption law and how to work within the legal limits.

[Hadley2]

mom2j's offer is generous, and I think if you follow up by talking to a good lawyer, you can get this tossed out.

Not to be argumentative, but our attorney certainly DID write the orders, our judge will most likely sign them without change. Of course, a judge can change them, but I find it HIGHLY doubtful that a judge would, out of nowhere for no reason, throw this in. It makes no sense. More likely, he was presented with it and assumed it was some sort of open adoption concession built in with the op's consent.

Clearly, neither the op nor her lawyer said peep about it in the courtroom, so why wouldn't the judge think they were on board and sign it? I think this will be her biggest problem, that is, that she gave informed consent to this condition in court.

It seems more likely to me that either the op used the attorney "recommended" by social services (that is, the attorney in social services' pocket) or her attorney lazily ceded writing the orders to the social services attorney. Either way, her attorney is CERTAINLY at fault. NO WAY can you get all the way to finalization without knowing what is in the orders. That makes no sense at all.

Again, I am not even convinced that it is in any way legal to insert conditions like this in an adoption order--it blatantly takes away a fundamental parental right, the right of determining association. That right is part and parcel of the parent's legal responsibility to protect the child--without it, the parent can be forced to endanger the child. That makes no sense, legally or in everyday life.

Again, an adoption order is NOT a custody agreement. In a custody agreement, the parents have their rights and legal ties to other kin are intact. Adoptions are completely different.

I think the op should interview attorneys and find one who has solid knowledge in this area and can tell her during a consultation what the process would be to get this out of the adoption order. She could start with the list of guardian ad litem attorneys for family court that also have private family practice. Look for one with five or more years in family court in her district/county, someone who knows this judge well and how things get done.

In the meantime, if asked--and I wouldn't volunteer for a fight if not asked--I think she should refuse unsupervised visits altogether and use her best judgment about what the child needs and can handle with regard to possible supervised visits. If she agrees to unsupervised visits, that will make her arguments that much weaker later. But, still, talk to a good lawyer first.

It sounds like a nightmare. But best to dial back the drama and just deal with it as calmly as possible through a new, better attorney.

[hallelujahmomma]

This Is What Our Adoption Papers Say....

"the Court Finds That The Biological Maternal Grandmother Of The Child The Subject Of This Suit, (her Name), Was Awarded Grandparent Addcess In The Order Of Termination In Cause #________. It Is Ordered That (grandmother's Name) Shall Continue To Have Unsupervised Visitation One Weekend Per Month, Said Weekend To Be Agreed Upon By (grandmother's Name) And (me & My Husband's Names), Said Order To Continue Unless And Until Further Order Of This Court.

[Mom2J]

Okay Hallelujahmomma, you don't have a lot of wiggle room in this one, but you're going to have to try.

Now, the judge carried over the grandparent's rights from the termination order. Texas law states that an adoption decree doesn't affect a grandparent's rights to reasonable access to child. (In other words, grandparent's rights.) Your attorney probably didn't "specifically" ask that the grandparent's rights be terminated with the adoption. It wasn't asked for, so the judge didn't have a reason not to carry it over.

By what I've read so far, you'll need to find grounds to terminate the grandparent's right. Talk to your attorney about appealing the grandparent's visitation. Get the doctor's reports from the couseling the child's been getting. Explain to the doctor exactly what's going on and have them write up a report. If your attorney won't do it, hire another one. You have fundamental rights as the parent and you need to make sure they're not stepped on.

Do not have any contact with grandma any other time, since it's not ordered. Have the child "conveniently" busy or out if she calls. The order does say you have to agree on a weekend. Now, just think about that for a minute........

Still researching and thinking...
Mom2J

[hallelujahmomma]

Thank You So Much. I Really Feel That Our Lawyer Let Us Down. We Met With Hime Before The Adoption And Asked About The Visits After The Adoption. He Wasn't Aware She Had Visitation And I Don't Know Why He'd Say That Because We Talked To Him About It When We First Talked To Him And Yet He Told Us To Agree To The Visits At The Adoption Anyway. I Know, I'm Stupid And Should Have Never Done It, But It Happened So Fast. Right Before The Adoption Our Lawyer And The Grandmother's Lawyer Met With The Judge In Her Chambers And Talked About This, Then In The Matter Of Less That A Minute Before He Came Out And Told Us To Agree To The Visits And That We'd Take Care Of Them Afterwards. He Knew We Didn't Want These Visits To Continue. We Have No Idea What Went On In The Judges Chambers.

[feelingreyt]

So sorry you are dealing with this.

The right thing for your lawyer would be to offer his services free of charge(terminating grandparents rights), since he messed up, but I doubt he would do that!

You may just need to hire a new lawyer to terminate the grandmother's rights.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck!

[TxMom65]

I would somehow contact the judge. They don't want the children who have been in the system this long to continue to be exposed to these things. He may not realize that this is going on.

If they must have visits then they should be supervised. If you get no response from the judge then I would lay it on the line to the grandparents. I would tell them that if there is ANYTHING that happens that is against my rules I will STOP all contact. Tell that that you know you will win and they will lose so don't try it. I might even start them with supervised visits.