[Rachelrmf]

I am 28 my DH is 30 and his uncle and aunt are 3 months pregnant. They are aware of the 37,000 we have spent on 4 failed IVF attemps And have offered the child to us to adopt. Thay have had 7 children taken by state over the years, but have since cleaned up their act by getting off drugs 5 years ago. She has a three yr old and wants to do everything to keep him. We are setting up home study with attorney, and birth mother is soooo excited. She wants DH and I their for the birth, and does not want to even hold baby.At this piont in her life she is able and willing to totally disconect from her child. I have brought over maternity clothes and vitamins, and am trying to get her a private ins. What am i supossed to pay for her and the baby? I'm not sure what to offer. Birth mother has yet to ask for anything except spicey chips..lol

[kakuehl]

First, Congratulations. Second, recognize that until they relinquish, they are this baby's parents. While she doesn't want to hold the baby now, she could change her mind. Check with your lawyer about what the appropriate steps are. I assume they are able to meet their own basic needs. It sounds like helping her find insurance for pre-natal care and the birth are a good thing for her and the baby. Again, please recognize that regardless of what she thinks now, after that child is born she may decide to keep him/her. That is her right. I hope it works out for both you and your DH's relatives.