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  #1  
Old 08-16-2008, 09:58 AM
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cantbuymeluv cantbuymeluv is offline
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Angry CA Relative Adoption OUT of CPS?

I have an ongoing case with my nephew. I posted before that I am trying to get my nephew, now 2 years old, out of foster care! He has been in system since November 2007 I applied EARLY December 2007 for kinship placement, jumped through ALL hoops, got my home approved FINALLY in May 2008! We are dealing with the same state but 10-12 hours away. NOW the DUMB DUMB DUMB CPS workers KNEW that I was trying to get my nephew, I kept GOOD records on my phone calls, emails, and letters! THANK GOD!!!!!! I also sent letters & packages to my nephew through CPS and have confirmation #'s of delivery. I have ASKED over and over again HOW can I help him, what else can I do to get him here ASAP? Of course they assured me that I am / have done EVERYTHING possible! Being ignorant, I believed them! NOW we are at the point where my sister, the mother, is losing services and a plan is being made by adoption services for adoption, SO my previous approval is NOT good enough! WE now need another evaluation BUT WTheck? THEY KNEW this!!! WHY WHY WHY did they not tell me sooner? OMGOSH!!! I am so MAD, they have a plan and they want my time to run out and then be justified. This baby stayed in my home with me and my family almost the first year of his life! WHY? I have retained an attorney in that town, gotten my sister & the father to agree to allow me to adopt him! SO the state adoptions THERE told me even with the agreement of both parents BEOFRE TPR that I STILL have to have state adoptions home approval and be licensed! THAT takes time & I HAD time before.
So my question is anyone else ever in this situation? WHAT else can I do? My attorney understands and is helping me, BUT I am staying VERY proactive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot lose him!

ON another note...........in CA anyone know of a good GOOD in house rehab. My sister has a drug addiction coupled with mental issues. (our mom is awful and evil, REALLY she is) I not only WANT to save my nephew but I also want my sister to get help before she gets pregnant again or ends up dead. She cannot live with me, but I want to point her in the right direction not just dump on her more by having her child. YES this is her fault but sometimes we all need help, we all need to learn how to understand ourselves and do better She cannot afford to pay for one and I am not able to pay thousands more on rehab, lawyers, my kids, etc? I am not superman LOL
THANKS again!!!! I love reading ideas and REALLY love when they are state specific
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  #2  
Old 08-16-2008, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cantbuymeluv
I have an ongoing case with my nephew. I posted before that I am trying to get my nephew, now 2 years old, out of foster care! He has been in system since November 2007 I applied EARLY December 2007 for kinship placement, jumped through ALL hoops, got my home approved FINALLY in May 2008! We are dealing with the same state but 10-12 hours away. NOW the DUMB DUMB DUMB CPS workers KNEW that I was trying to get my nephew, I kept GOOD records on my phone calls, emails, and letters! THANK GOD!!!!!! I also sent letters & packages to my nephew through CPS and have confirmation #'s of delivery. I have ASKED over and over again HOW can I help him, what else can I do to get him here ASAP? Of course they assured me that I am / have done EVERYTHING possible! Being ignorant, I believed them! NOW we are at the point where my sister, the mother, is losing services and a plan is being made by adoption services for adoption, SO my previous approval is NOT good enough! WE now need another evaluation BUT WTheck? THEY KNEW this!!! WHY WHY WHY did they not tell me sooner? OMGOSH!!! I am so MAD, they have a plan and they want my time to run out and then be justified. This baby stayed in my home with me and my family almost the first year of his life! WHY? I have retained an attorney in that town, gotten my sister & the father to agree to allow me to adopt him! SO the state adoptions THERE told me even with the agreement of both parents BEOFRE TPR that I STILL have to have state adoptions home approval and be licensed! THAT takes time & I HAD time before.
So my question is anyone else ever in this situation? WHAT else can I do? My attorney understands and is helping me, BUT I am staying VERY proactive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot lose him!

ON another note...........in CA anyone know of a good GOOD in house rehab. My sister has a drug addiction coupled with mental issues. (our mom is awful and evil, REALLY she is) I not only WANT to save my nephew but I also want my sister to get help before she gets pregnant again or ends up dead. She cannot live with me, but I want to point her in the right direction not just dump on her more by having her child. YES this is her fault but sometimes we all need help, we all need to learn how to understand ourselves and do better She cannot afford to pay for one and I am not able to pay thousands more on rehab, lawyers, my kids, etc? I am not superman LOL
THANKS again!!!! I love reading ideas and REALLY love when they are state specific


We got our relative out of foster care in Florida. We live in Hawaii. We had to do an ICPC--the whole situation was just horrible. Look at the thread Reunification with relatives on the foster to adopt forum under foster care & adoption. hkollen is another poster who had this same situation--

My best advice is a good attorney in the state where your nephew is--get one now, do a motion to intervene, and get the bparents to sign TPR for an adoption by you. If they haven't been TPR'd, they can do this. The judge won't have to accept it, but it will make your intent to care for this child clear and also make clear what the bparents want.

Sorry to ask, but are the foster parents looking to try and adopt this child? That can be another hurdle for you--

Good luck and don't give up!
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  #3  
Old 08-16-2008, 06:42 PM
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cantbuymeluv cantbuymeluv is offline
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Wink Don't be sorry:)

Thanks for responding And don't be sorry about asking ANYTHING at this point I am so scaredright now, that I will put of all the details on the line just to get answers and direction. NO WAY am I giving up! I do not intend to lose him.
And yes I do believe the foster mom wants him. In fact, she and my estranged mother have joined forces. Sad cause my mother hasn't had anything to do with him really, and she is an awful mother. There are 5 of us kids and 4 of us DO NOT speak to her, only 1 does to have a relationship with my stepdad. She even stood up in court and LIED. Just recently, she stood up and denied we are of Indian decent. We don't look it but we have been told our entire lives by that woman that we are 1/8 Indian, so I find it ironic. I have applied for our CDIB but we are still in the research stage still and OF COURSE the court just took my mother's word for it on the spot. Sad but I am just trying to show that she is willing to lie just to be in control. (my other sister & I plan on writing a book one day of all the horrid things she has done to us.)

Anyways, I realize that my time is running out and I have to get my nephew moved or the 6 month rule could apply for the foster parents. I did hire an attorney in that town, small town, and so far he is doing research into the case. He agrees that the SWs are very GOD like. Yes they are doing a good deed but how many times is there another way? I LOVE and miss my nephew, my heart hurts. IT has been broken since the day my sister took him out of my home to go back to that town. I can't give up. I won't

I am sickened that CPS can block a relative from keeping a nephew in the family. Mind you I have 5 kids, a home, a husband who makes 6 figures, and I am a student going into a great medical career to make the same as hubby. NO that does not make an instant yes to adopt my nephew, but we are not drug addicted, homeless, nomads without a clue either! SO why did they keep important information from us?


Thanks again, I have been researching so many hours lately. I wish I could speed up our state adoptions approval but really I am just making contact on Monday. CPS knew I would need that and very conveniently left that info. out. I will rush and get my sister to the attorney this week to finish up paper work. I will check out the thread you mentioned

THANK you!!!!!! I need all the information I can get. I just keep praying, that if my intentions are good, I stay in the right (unlike my mother), with God we can do this!!!!! He can't just get out of the fight because he is tired (my nephew) he has no voice, I HAVE to stay in it with him...................

Thanks and feel free to ask my ss number if you think it would help! LOL
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  #4  
Old 08-16-2008, 06:45 PM
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cantbuymeluv cantbuymeluv is offline
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OH and CONGRATULATIONS on getting things done from ANOTHER state!!!!!!!!! That gives me a little hope I am so very glad it worked out, but sorry that it was not easy.
Hoping for the same end result Enjoy your family and a job well done!
Can you tell me more about an ICPC? I saw something about it but it escapes me what it was exactly?
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:14 PM
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Barksum Barksum is offline
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Keep pushing. Talk with your lawyer about finding out when court dates are. Ask your sister, since she should be notified. If you know of pending court dates you might make the effort to go with your lawyer. Your sister can also sign a waiver (? not sure of the correct legal term) that allows the cw to talk with you about the caseplan.

Does the child have a lawyer, GAL, or CASA? If so do your best to contact them. I think I wasn't allowed to know if the child had a GAL/CASA, but I did call the caseworker and request that my info be given to the child's GAL/CASA or lawyer. I then contacted the county's CASA office and requested that IF there was a CASA assigned to the child that my contact information be given to them. In this way they did not have to admit knowing anything.

Contact the adoptive parent advocacy group for your area. Since you are in the same state there may be a statewide organization. This info is available at NACAC | Parent Groups

That's all I can think of right now.

Oh, ICPC is 'interstate compact something something' and is only involved when you are dealing across state lines. It is the agreement between the two states regarding who pays supervision prior to finalization, and then adoption subsidy and covers the medical insurance for the child after placement and finalization. I don't think this applies in your case since you are in the same state as your nephew. (Did I read that correctly?)

It is also common to have to have a separate homestudy in order to adopt. Often (in many states) there are two kinds of homestudies; one for foster parents, another for adoption. If you are an adoptive family who also is willing to do foster care you would have a combo kind of homestudy. (That's what we did. It also made it easier to get legal risk adoptive placements.) Some states will allow you to have your homestudy done by a private agency. They will still want the walk through and any safety checks done, but that might be an option. However, you would have to pay for that out of pocket and only be reimbursed out of the one-time adoption expenses compensation from the state after the adoption is finalized, and you would need to save all receipts, etc. This one time payment can also cover your adoption expenses like travel, etc. The parent group for your area on the web site above should be able to give you some info about how your state works and what options you may/may not have.

Sorry, forgot to mention that we adopted a relative who was in CPS in another state. Since the child was in state custody, the parents can not make a separate adoption plan. If your relative contacts you prior to the child being removed by CPS then you would have something to work with, but once the child goes into state custody the state makes all the decisions.
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Last edited by Barksum : 08-16-2008 at 07:25 PM.
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  #6  
Old 08-16-2008, 08:17 PM
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Sorry--did not read the OP carefully. ICPC is the Interstate Compact for Placement of Children. Doesn't apply since you are in the same state.

See if you can be put in touch with foster parent and have some contact with child via visits, sending cards/gifts, telephone calls. The fparents will then realize that the child is wanted by family members--hopefully they will do what they should and support the case plan.
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  #7  
Old 08-17-2008, 11:03 AM
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cantbuymeluv cantbuymeluv is offline
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Post CPS needs SERIOUS reform!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks again both of you

I read the thread suggested and wow I still am amazed at how WRONG things can go! I took notes on several items and will speak to my attorney on Tuesday, as he is out of the office this Monday. With school starting back up soon, I am RUSHED to find answers and pushed for time.
You read correctly, we are in the same state, just 12 hours away. CA is BIG! No way would my 5 kids tolerate that drive made in 2 days and one day in the town! AND really they shouldn't have to. Who wants to sit in the car or tain that long? I hated it last time. I was able to see my nephew on the 24th & 25th of July! HE is amazing and those hours spent with him are what keeps me from flying over the cuckoo's nest LOL

SADLY, I have met the fmom and she was rude, arrogant, and shook my hand like I was the DEVIL! Little did I know when I met her that she wanted my nephew or that she had been in league with my estranged mother. I was UNPREPARED for that. I guess I wouldn't have done it differently, I TRY so hard to be kind and generous. I am NOT a bad person. I am not trying to STEAL anyone's child! From the very beginning I have only pushed to be first choice IF my sister cannot provide a good home for my nephew.

I am sorry that the fmom wants my nephew. I am sorry but family, bfamilies should come first. I know why he has the white patches in his hair, I know the first year of his life, have the photos, the memories, I am biologically connected to this little 2 year old. I love him as my own. I know that this ffamily KNEW, and KNOW about me. I have sent photos, letters, cards, drawings from my children to my nephew. Along with gifts and a digital frame that plays 55 photos of our family WITH him! She knows of me very well and my intentions to have him with us.

I will find out about court dates, ask my sister to sign a release form so the CW can speak to myself and attorney, speak to my nephew's attorney, ask for the CASA worker, and file every single paper I can to get him.

Thanks for the definition of ICPC. There is so much to learn and so very little time. They (CPS) planned it that way too! I am taking my anger and channeling it into action. I will write & call every single person above CPS all the way to Bush if I need to. I plan on more visits with nephew but it is going to be tough to get the time again. Flying is NOT my favorite thing and the cost is starting to multiply. BUT I will do it

I can PROVE that I have been involved since the VERY beginning and NO ONE else can do that. I have a few things on my side, like my kinship care approval.
Tomorrow I will begin the paperwork for state adoptions approval here in my county, I will go as fast as I can. With input from you KIND and generous people I can do this

Also anyone know of rules about fparents having contact WITHOUT CPS approval for a fc and bgrandma?? This is still an issue with me. I CANNOT see how that is FOR RU when the bgrandma is estranged and seeing the ffamily & child??? It does NOT seem right. Information was shared, photos of my family, of my visits, etc. with an estranged bgrandma! Call me crazy but that seems to be VERY wrong and the ffamily is working AGAINST the RU process by doing that.
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  #8  
Old 08-17-2008, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cantbuymeluv
Thanks again both of you


I can PROVE that I have been involved since the VERY beginning and NO ONE else can do that. I have a few things on my side, like my kinship care approval.
Tomorrow I will begin the paperwork for state adoptions approval here in my county, I will go as fast as I can. With input from you KIND and generous people I can do this

Also anyone know of rules about fparents having contact WITHOUT CPS approval for a fc and bgrandma?? This is still an issue with me. I CANNOT see how that is FOR RU when the bgrandma is estranged and seeing the ffamily & child??? It does NOT seem right. Information was shared, photos of my family, of my visits, etc. with an estranged bgrandma! Call me crazy but that seems to be VERY wrong and the ffamily is working AGAINST the RU process by doing that.


Check with social worker about the contact-do it in a non-judgemental way-just checking on the situation, is it the best thing for the child?

Good luck and stay on it!
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  #9  
Old 08-17-2008, 01:40 PM
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cantbuymeluv cantbuymeluv is offline
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THANKS! I am working on it

I will ask the worker, I do have the fmom's phone number. I have not called since I met her. I will try to contact her and maybe if she could see who I really am, she could soften her heart? He is worth the try. Maybe she has judged me on my sister's behavior or what my estranged mom has said. ?? Good idea. HOPE I can do it with a good heart



Edited to remove confidential information
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  #10  
Old 08-31-2008, 04:36 PM
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I would try to find out if, in CA, as a relative you can file as an intervenor or person with a legitimate interest to be party to the case. FPs may have to wait six months, but as a relative you may not have to. Then you could be assured of a spot in the courtroom and a chance to be heard by the judge.
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Old 09-05-2008, 09:50 PM
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I just want to applaud you for being involved from the very begining with your nephews case, so many times family does not step up until TPR is immenent and that is such a tragedy. I sure hope that you are able to gain custody of your nephew.

I think if I were you I would do my best to find out when the next court case was scheduled and BE THERE, just your presence can move mountains at times. Also if the foster parent shows up as well she will SEE that you are going to follow this through.

I think you are right to give her a chance to get to know you, if your mother is as terrible as you say, she is probably manipulative and may have cast her magic on the foster parent. Remember if she has been told awful things about you she may be shocked that you are even following through, I have had many bfamilies start the process to get children in care but then back out at the last moment or fail the homestudy, or take kids and then give them back because they were "too much" to handle. If she believes any one of those things might happen (and she likely does if she is experienced or if your mother has told her so) she may have an inaccurate view of you and your sincerity. If this is not the case and she is just interfering for her own benefit then there is not much you can do on that front, so move on and concentrate your efforts where they will be most effective; in court and as high up on the CPS totem pole as you can get.

It was very wise for you to keep an accurate accounting of all the contact you have had, CPS has a way of "losing" things.

Good Luck
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  #12  
Old 09-05-2008, 10:17 PM
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I would try and get in contact with the babies attorney. In my case because we had 5 different CW in 2 years and the last one was very inexperienced the Judge always took the attorneys suggestions over the CW. The bmom lived in a rehab for 6mo. it was called Cry Help in the Van Nuys area not sure if that would help your sister, but maybe they can refer you closer to where you live. Good Luck
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Old 09-11-2008, 12:49 PM
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You may also want to go to the head of the agency you're nephew is a part of. Make him/her aware of what's going on because I was under the impression that as long as family has no child abuse history and is stable and d/d free, they'd be first choice for the kiddie.
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Old 09-16-2008, 05:14 PM
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We had alot of hurdles to jump through ourselves to move our niece (now my daughter) to Florida from Idaho. Ours involved alot of issues like the OP is stating such as poor communication and just no answers to anything! Also, having to go thru the ICPC was enough of a hassle!!!

Have you tried contacting the Governors office in CA? I know that may not help but at least it will show the CPS that you are serious! We did this in Idaho but they wouldn't help us at all, stated we should let DHW do the process themselves to pick placement but at least it got some people looking closer at why they weren't allowing placement with us and why it was taking them so darn long to decide. We were even licensed foster parents too!

Keep records of EVERY phone call and keep ALL emails. Hire an attorney if you need to near your nephew. We had to hire an attorney in Idaho to show DHW there we were serious...but then the foster parents tried to block the move and that also slowed down alot of the process. If the foster parents are thinking they can adopt then I would get an attorney (even if just to help you thru the legal stuff). And with all the records you are keeping that will help with if or when you have to go to court. It will show your interest from the beginning. That helped us out alot in our situation. What does CPS say as to what they have let the foster parents know? Have they been honest with them about you being interested? I know in our case the foster parents didn't know we were involved for months after we became licensed here.

I know here in Florida if our niece was in Florida we were told the attorney here could get an emergency order to move her to our home. Does CA offer that option?

I wish you the best of luck!
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March 2007-FP's appealed decision
April 2007-New CRPT-DCF & CASA upholds decision for placement w/us
May 2007-ICPC finally COMPLETED!!
June 2007-niece is home with us
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Last edited by hkolln : 09-16-2008 at 05:17 PM.
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Old 09-21-2008, 09:20 PM
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cantbuymeluv cantbuymeluv is offline
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Wink Nephew Update!!!!!!!

Things have gotten so BUSY or as my friend would say, chaotic. I forgot my password and couldn't log in...........so here I am

OK my attorney in the same town as my nephew started talking to all of the other lawyers on the case. My nephews had never even heard of me!!!!!!!!! (I am still mad at CPS over that one!) The father's attorney really didn't know who I was either but that is a LITTLE bit more forgiveable! It is kind of funny how CPS stated to me that the court (don't you think that would be the lawyers too) knew about my involvement with my nephew before he was taken into custody AND my almost immediate involvement since he was taken into CPS, November 23, 2007!!!! That is unforgiveable!!

Anyways, they heard about me, saw some of my paperwork, and my attorney really gave it to them straight. I AM his aunt who has gotten the cold shoulder from CPS and the nearest state adoptions worker! So, I met them all just before the court hearing on 9-12-08. THANK God I clean up well (LOL trying to keep a sense of humor) Since I am going to school to be a PA they get that I am not a drugee or worse. They also know that my home has been approved TWICE now for relative placement!! So in court they ALL stood up and asked WHY my nephew was not placed with me yet!!!!!! So we have a hearing set for October 15th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother and the foster mom left ASAP and I saw the foster mom crying. I FEEL for her, really I do, but WHY would she want to keep him from family???
So this is a HUGE step forward!!! Also I FINALLY got State ADoptions from MY county to start a home study on me. We are pretty far through that. So far my county has been on my side and really pushed to get things done quickly. I guess the other state adoptions should HAVE taken the time to look into my home, that is their job!
I also had 3 more visits with my nephew and he is great! He is so loving and I took it upon myself to bring his 2 siblings that he has not seen in almost a year! They live in that county and the foster mom has NOT tried it. HELLO siblings should have some contact. I still contact them mostly by mail, email, myspace, photos, etc. BUT I do contact them. That is another thing on my side.
Things are looking up but I am NOT out of the woods yet. I KNOW that CPS is working on ANYTHING to keep him in that county. SAD but yes it is true!!! I have seen it. I send things up THROUGH CPS with tracking numbers of course, and they kept 3 packages on their desk for over a MONTH before they gave them to ME to give to him at my visit, and NO they did NOT know I would be there when they received them

Some days I want to quit, some days I am motivated to fight harder, and some days I want to cry. But so far I have gone on. Riley is counting on me......if not me......then who?
BTW I HAVE contacted the Foster Ombusmen, CA Senator, and the governor! Oh and I may have , contacted the program manager, director, and MORE for the county that is holding my nephew hostage!!!! I DO believe they KNOW that I am not going to stop until Riley is rescued from CPS! It has been tough, but I have to do it. I have photos and video of our visits to prove how great he is with me. He knows me. He even looks like his Auntie.
They have very very recently put in his health reports that he is NOT making eye contact, acting aggressively with kids and animals. I KNOW it is BOGUS unless he has a problem with those people. He is smart and loving and I got photos of how well he makes eye contact They just want to say that a therapist is against moving him now. I still can't believe they would lie. What a sad sad world we live in.
THANKS for everything. I am going to continue coming here for support and suggestions. We are NOT safe yet!
OH and I did contact CASA while up there and they were in the courtroom and heard our story. They wanted to take the case but it is too far into the case they said. They also agreed with pushing HARD against CPS
This fight is a book in and of itself OH yeah I am also taking the PRIDE classes and have had 2 so far. I didn't have to but it is just one more thing on my side God help all of us family members who love our kids and are willing and able to step up. We all know that SOMEONE needs to help us. Where did the system go so wrong??
Like my CA Governor would say, "I'll Be BACK!"
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