[cantbuymeluv]

Thanks I am very frustrated. YES, I even get angry at times. I try to use these emotions to push me to get something done. The feeling fades and I have written tons of letters, etc. Researching codes and cases that are similar or even the opposite type has been a big job. I do reserve these feelings for adult conversations and not with the children. Thank you for your concern. I am aware that children pick up on our feelings. It is unfortunate that things are like this right now.

I am a writer and write a LOT....... By that I mean journaling is a way to release some tension and work out my feelings. So you guys sometimes get to see that in action. Sorry for the undertones or the OVER tones at times

This is so WRONG that I worry about my nephew. I even worry about the other children in the world who may face similar situations. How many have been lost to their families? How many SWs have had their own agenda and lied in court to serve their own purpose? I may be an idealist but isn't the law suppose to mean something? Even better yet, isn't the child more important than someone's idea of what they want done? Family is important, if the biological family has done what they need to.............been approved......are safe...........follow the law...........they should get preference as per family code.

I am still working all ends here and will do that for a while. The .26 hearing is the 19th, I will get visits, and we shall see. The AG (Attorney General) should be with us when we go.........and you know I have asked the TOP guy in this case to get them there.
I received the reports today and so far it is a lot of opinion. The facts and the law are what count.

It makes me ill to see that you have gone through this, previous poster, it is awful. I would not wish this on anyone. I am VERY happy that your relative is out of their care and home with you THANKS for hanging in there, I know it is a tough road. It seems so endless, so many ups and downs. One day I am hopeful and the next I want to settle for visitation for him..............BUT I do know that would be very difficult. I don't think the foster parents are willing to make visits easy on me. Sad, I love him so. I realize they care or love him too. The just has to be a better system to this............

More community pressure needs to be exerted. I know that is the ONLY reason we have come this far...............so back to my soap box

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by cantbuymeluv

This is so WRONG that I worry about my nephew.

No it is NOT wrong to worry about him. It is wrong in the way a person handles it all. You can do it in a positive way or a negative way. Not that you aren't doing everything you CAN to bring him home. That isn't wrong. Not at all. You love him and want him there. That is how we felt. Only thing is you have to realize your actions can affect him....and focus on staying positive and working thru all this in a positive way. I always say "God won't give us more then we can handle" and that is true. We did all the stuff you did for almost a year and went thru an appeal by the FP's. I understand why they did all they did (not that makes it right but I understand) however I still felt she belonged with us in the end. If he belongs with you he will be with you. Just step back and take a breath....and pamper yourself! You have to be emotionally ready for all this and if he does come there you'll need all the strength you can! You know I'm wishing you all kinds of luck!

And I too felt like you did...I didn't believe in my heart that Alexis would be allowed visits with us either (only because of the way the FP's reacted to us asking for placement). We contacted tons of people along our timeline from attorneys to her CASA to state representatives and even the Governor's office. Just keep going up til you get an answer you want.

[cantbuymeluv]

At last hearing 12-19-08 the A.G. was on the phone but NEVER stepped up to speak and defend State Adoptions recommendations EVEN when the judge ordered in opposition. OF course, this makes me wonder if their heart is in it. TPR did take place EVEN though my nephew is IN the custody and control of State Adoptions since 12-1-08 in our name for adoption! I Do NOT get how this is happening. The court named the foster parents as "prospective parents" also. WHAT? AND the 366.26(n) code was used to hold my nephew at the home for now. The next hearing is 2-4-09 and that should be it!
OUr hope is little.........EVEN though the law is on our side and I have EVERYTHING that I could think of. With CPS, foster parents on the SAME side, it even looks as if the judge has made up his mind.
The A.G. will be in court with us in February and MAYBE they will WORK like they should and help us. BUT things look grim. VERY grim at this point.
I just wanted to update.
We were denied weekend visits due to the fparents going out of town AGAIN! Funny how they are doing that to frustrate visitation when I come to town. I thought fparents were suppose to aid in visits with family!
I keep praying........keep working things in my head.........keep researching.............
THANKS!

[Mom2J]

I was also a relative placement of my cousin and it took our family one-year and one-month to get the child out of DHR's (CPS) custody.

Do you have an attorney? If so, does this attorney ever work with CPS? The reason I'm stating this, is because an attorney that's used to dealing with CPS, is more likely to get things done before any others. Also, CPS has an attorney that works for them. Find out who it is. (We did in our case as well as the child's guardian et litem and they're an invaluable force to work with.) They may not know you're out there trying to get this child or have been told things about you, that CPS thinks will help the Fps get the child.

Now, something I heard from our case, the DHR/(your CPS) attorney and the guardian et litem told us that most of the time when it comes to relative placements, the apples don't fall far from the tree. (Families tend to be alike. In other words, not much better than the people that had the kids taken away. This is exactly what we were told.) Do you get what I'm saying? It's up to you to prove them wrong.

PM me if you'd like to talk.

Mom2J

[MamaS]

You seem like a good organizer, so I would make a suggestion. Start planning your appeal now. Make a list of everything the other side did "wrong". Especially denial of visitation. If the judge rules against you, have your lawyer IMMEDIATELY ask for a stay of the order as an appeal will be filed.
If you can afford a private detective, find out why CPS is supporting the FPs so fiercely. Are the FPs relatives of someone in CPS? Allegations of conflict of interest are always good.
You have been passive and good and jumped through all their hoops. Now is the time to strike back with a little fire.
Also, are you allowed to have a friend with you in court? If so, do you have a friend who just happens to write for a paper? If not, maybe your New Year's Resolution should be to make a friend before February!

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by MamaS

Also, are you allowed to have a friend with you in court? If so, do you have a friend who just happens to write for a paper?

Personally I wouldn't go this route. It may backfire on her when she brings it out to the public. We too thought about doing this but it just wasn't worth the risk.

Best bet is to make sure you have everything written down and have a good attorney on your side. I know in our situation the Judge did not want to sit on a custody battle and left it up to CPS, which went back and forth for what seemed like forever. Just standing your ground in a mature fashion can only help.

[cantbuymeluv]

thank you again everyone! I appreciate the time, thought, and suggestions
I have prepared a newer version of my complaint letter, now pushing the newest injustices. That and the urgency that is necessary.
These letters take time and part of my soul. To rehash the whole thing and NOT sound like a lunatic............well LOL
I have already sent SEVERAL by way of email. I need a lawsuit attorney that will WIN too. NO WAY is this OK.
On my blog I will add the new letter by tomorrow. I have to go through and pull out my nephews name.

Tomorrow it will be added. I have taken enough time from my kids for one day Good evening to all.

I have more of a response but it will have to wait till tomorrow too

[Lynard1210]

I am a CASA/GAL and I have a few suggestions for getting in touch with the important people on the case. First of all, if you have a lawyer, your lawyer should be privy to who the GAL or CASA is. Your lawyer should find out immediately. You can try calling the Clerk's office in your county to get the name of the GAL (if there is one appointed - not all cases get them). Also if you talk to the foster parent, ask her if there is one. If there is a GAL, write a letter to him/her and make sure he/she gets it. When I write my recommendations to the court, I use any and all documentation in my hand at the time. I would not rely on the caseworker to hand over your contact info . . .

[cantbuymeluv]

I didn't WANT to be a bug, but now that things look VERY bad............I have to look at all avenues
So since we just had a BIG change in government representation, I feel that my case with my nephew may suffer, no it WILL suffer. People who were watching are gone and the newbies are busy taking over, and may overlook me............my nephew!
So I am in Fresno County, CA.
MY nephew lives in Del Norte, CA. I call him Baby R when I have to keep his name out of things.
My name is Kimberly F.

I am going to ask that whomever agrees with me and my plight to PLEASE contact their assembly member, mine, and Baby R's.
here is the link for CA

The California State Assembly

Assembly members are the ones who can help with case law.
Thank you all for even reading my ramblings PLEASE do not feel forced or pushed into doing anything.............I ask only for whomever wishes to help
AGAIN thanks for all of the responses to questions, etc. just hearing that I am not alone (although very sad and WRONG) is enough to help.
Anyone with any other suggestions, I am all ears
thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[family friend]

Any updates yet on today's hearing? Don't mean to push just thinking of you and pulling for you today.

[cantbuymeluv]

THANKS for thinking of me, Family Friend
It warms my heart to know that we have "friends" out there

I have been caught up in my life, while looking at ALL angles of this. On 2-4-09 and 2-5-09 we had the placement hearing, but it was then continued to 2-10-09 and 2-11-09. At the end of 4 full days of testimony, everyone was tired. Some wonderful things came to light about our family and some stunning things happened too.
Since I NOW am aware that the fparents' attorney Googled my name, I am a bit cautious to state our game plan anymore
BUT we did not receive placement again. Everything else is the same, I am still de facto, still named PAP by State Adoptions. BUT the court named the fparents PAP too and they have placement. A newer code is being used to keep him there, even though I BELIEVE it is being used perversely, NOT as legislation was intended at ALL!
I am also unwilling to pass this code along to any others that may want to commit the same act to another child. ;(
My husband and 5 children were able to attend the first 2 days of court and visit my nephew (The kids never went in the court.) That was nice, but they only had time for us to have 2 hours! Again, even exhausted, I wanted more time than that.
The A.G. was present and defended their stance in backing me & hubby as PAP. The child's attorney is STILL in support of my nephew being with us. And my attorney fought so well I am so proud of my attorney, he is a GOOD man!!!! HOW many people get to say that about their attorney??? I am very blessed!
The fight does NOT stop here! I am a bit more of a mother bear for that.
It is time to hold everyone accountable.
My sister the bio mom & bio dad were granted their appeal for the TPR, but that I mean they get the chance. They were BARELY within their 60 days! An appeal is definitely what we are leaning towards also.
My nephew has NO diagnosis of ANY kind, from a psychologist or a therapist. He CAN be moved!!!!!!
My sister and I are looking at starting an informative group that would let people involved with CPS and the like to really know HOW to find out their rights, find the forms, and aid in navigating this crazy world.
Of course parents would be welcome, but relatives is a HUGE focus for me. My nephew (WE as a family) are being PUNISHED for living out of the immediate area. Well, that and the deliberate agenda that a few people and agency have!!!!!!
Thank you again!
I am amazed at how great my nephew can be during this tough time. He is a wonderful boy! He is funny, smart, and loving! Our family just wants to keep him in our lives forever.
If you have specific questions, let me know by email or IM. I don't want to let the other side know more than I have to.

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by cantbuymeluv

My sister and I are looking at starting an informative group that would let people involved with CPS and the like to really know HOW to find out their rights, find the forms, and aid in navigating this crazy world.

Oh that sounds like a good idea! I know while going thru our fight for our daughter (bioniece) it was awful trying to decipher all the laws and such and get help! Let me know if you get this rolling.

[cantbuymeluv]

A notice of appeal has been filed by the child's attorney. I am speaking to an appellate attorney and our options too!

All the while holding everyone accountable for their actions! That means; HIPAA violation complaints, State Administrative Hearings, Grievances with State Adoptions, Civil Lawsuits, etc.

It is exhausting but worth it! He is worth it!!!!!!!!!!

The support group for families is VERY in the forefront of my mind. The information that I have COST me a LOT but I know more than any new relative coming into the picture. What I need to do is WARN families not to trust DHS, I know that sounds alarmist style but.............
There is no need to be mean or cruel but instead be proactive and not allow deadlines, court dates, etc. to pass by without DHS (CPS) telling them. Too much is at risk.

I would LOVE ideas on how to share the information. A local church has an "Addiction" meeting on Friday nights. I think there would be a good place to start. I would bet that some of them have children involved in the system or could soon..............
They have family..........
and so it would begin.

I think flyers, a web site, and lists of resources would be a good start. Internet sites for information, blog sites, sites like these, phone numbers for advocates and people who have been there done that. Sadly, I have gotten TONS of forms from fightcps.com there is a wealth of information there and it has armed me with legal recourse that I am NOW using

Also, I have to keep a huge DISCLAIMER as I am NOT an attorney LOL Although in June I will probably sit for the LSATs.

Reaching our legislators is KEY to change!!!!!! Collecting stories from family members would be ideal! TONS of them. Some families who won and some who did not, and some like me WHO FIGHT STILL!!!


As I work on this, I check myself for anger. I do NOT want to act out of vengence, but out of love for my nephew. To try and prevent this from happening to anyone else............EVER!

Again I quote..........."For the love of one child, I will not stop."

[Sdirector]

I have not taken the time (yet) to read all of your posts, just to skim through a few. I just wanted to send you encouragement from someone who has adopted 1 (great) nephew, and soon to be a (great) niece!

A good lawyer is so essential to any of this! A lawyer who is used to working with the state agencies, cutting through the beurecracy, and who knows how to litigate in court is a good find, as all lawyers are not created equal. Some are simply glorified form completers, as I learned! I had to fire one, and hire another. I really do not have any sympathy for lawyers who do not do what they say that they will do.

We did find an excellent lawyer, and 13 years later, we are back to her again. Our first adoption was a child protective action that we needed to initiate ourselves, and complete ourselves, without any state involvement. The second adoption is going to involve the state, so will seem quite different to us, but we know that she is capable of navigating this system, to get it done.

I have many times thought of starting some type of group to help families like mine. Maybe when we are done with my niece, we will do that.

[hollatjagirl]

Wow! I am sorry this has been so tough for you! The state gov is crazy! They would rather spend money for someone else to care for several kids than to see them with family. Good luck in your journey!! That is awful nice of you to help your sister out..you're right it's a sad thing and she does need you and will thank you later!!