[just.another.artist]

hello, forgive me if i do anything wrong with posting this. i am new here and i am still trying to figure it out.
i found this site while searching for some answers and thought perhaps someone would be able to answer some of my questions.
let me start with a little bit of history:
i have four cousins (three, technically, they have a sister) who are in foster care and will soon be available for adoption. my husband and i have wanted to adopt for a long time and would love to be able to take these kids, we already know them and care about them a lot. this is where i get confused though. i have called and talked to everyone and gotten no where. the people i call tell me to call other people who tell me to call the people who told me to call them in the first place. it makes my brain hurt.
they have all told me the basics of what will happen but they can't really tell me what to do first.
so what are we supposed to do? do we sit and wait for them to call us back like they said they would (even though they have never called me back when they said they would)? do i stay on the phone with those people and the other people, demanding they listen and help? do we start looking into a home study?
to make it all more complicated and confusing (at least to me!) my husband is in the military and we don't live in the same state any more. plus, we are really young. i am nearly 21 and my husband is nearly 22. we are capable and experienced and have plenty of support from other family and the military, but are we too young to even bother pursuing this? i am only 11 years older than the oldest child. we just really don't want to see these kids separated from each other and never allowed to see the rest of their family (no one has been allowed to see them for months now).
so any input would truly help us right now. thanks.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by just.another.artist

so what are we supposed to do? do we sit and wait for them to call us back like they said they would (even though they have never called me back when they said they would)? do i stay on the phone with those people and the other people, demanding they listen and help? do we start looking into a home study?
to make it all more complicated and confusing (at least to me!) my husband is in the military and we don't live in the same state any more. plus, we are really young. i am nearly 21 and my husband is nearly 22. we are capable and experienced and have plenty of support from other family and the military, but are we too young to even bother pursuing this? i am only 11 years older than the oldest child. we just really don't want to see these kids separated from each other and never allowed to see the rest of their family (no one has been allowed to see them for months now).
so any input would truly help us right now. thanks.

You can go to the base legal department and ask them for help. It's free. If they cannot help you, go out into town and retain a lawyer. It's very very expensive, but you will get results if you really want your young relatives.

Just be aware of some advice I received when my husband and I were trying to get our son (previously nephew) out of foster care and with us. My friend who is a psychologist warned me of the effect it could have on our marriage--and we are in our early 50's. You two are very young---be very sure you are ready to make a lifetime committment to these children--they may have good, secure foster homes. Perhaps asking to develop a relationship with the foster families is an option for you?

Good luck, and do try base legal. That's what they are there for--

BTW--my husband is a retired Marine.

[vegaschristina]

My dad was retired Army...I agree...go to the JAG office. They most likely can't directly represent you, however they should be able to write a simple letter or make a phone call to the social services where your cousins are.