[slanders2008]

My cousin is pregnant. She has made extremely poor choices and is going to be incarcerated when her baby is born. She has a long history of drug abuse (heroine and cocaine). She has two children ages 10 and 13 (from a previous marriage). The child she is carrying is bi-racial too. She asked my husband and I to adopt the child. She had a amniocentesis last week and the baby is healthy in spite of her drug use during the first trimester. Thank the Lord. It's a true miracle. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and have no children of our own. We are seriously considering adopting this child. However, we would like to know if there are resources (health care, child care etc.) offered in the state of California should we proceed. Although my husband and I are financially stable, own our home etc. the cost of childcare in my area is 1,200 per month. This is substantial when considering adoption.

[ReMom]

It has always been my experience that you must income qualify for state / local resources. If that is not the case, you will have to budget accordingly. It is hard. I am a single mom...and I pay $900 / month in childcare. I have actually thought I might be in the wrong business! (I am a nurse).

[kaykay4us]

It has been my experience that the child needs to be in state custody for a period of time to qualify for any adoption substudy. Adoption substudy will give you some money and medical until the child is 18 years, if they have been in state custody. The best way to get answeres is to talk with a case worker if it has gone that far. If it has not or will not then you will have to qualify the via income etc..
Hope this helps!!

[hrisme]

Originally Posted by ReMom

It has always been my experience that you must income qualify for state / local resources. If that is not the case, you will have to budget accordingly. It is hard. I am a single mom...and I pay $900 / month in childcare. I have actually thought I might be in the wrong business! (I am a nurse).

Believe me, you're making more than your childcare provider! $900 may seem like a lot, but when you consider the expenses of providing care the money goes REALLY fast! ;-)

As the previous poster indicated, unless the child is in state custody there will be no subsidy or child care assistance available. You would have to meet the same requirements for child care subsidies in your area as you would if it was your biological child. The mother may qualify for Medicaid prior to the birth if she does not have a stable income, but unless the child has special needs they probably will not qualify after.

[luvmylittlegirls]

Originally Posted by slanders2008

My cousin is pregnant. She has made extremely poor choices and is going to be incarcerated when her baby is born. She has a long history of drug abuse (heroine and cocaine). She has two children ages 10 and 13 (from a previous marriage). The child she is carrying is bi-racial too. She asked my husband and I to adopt the child. She had a amniocentesis last week and the baby is healthy in spite of her drug use during the first trimester. Thank the Lord. It's a true miracle. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and have no children of our own. We are seriously considering adopting this child. However, we would like to know if there are resources (health care, child care etc.) offered in the state of California should we proceed. Although my husband and I are financially stable, own our home etc. the cost of childcare in my area is 1,200 per month. This is substantial when considering adoption.

Can you cut back expenses and stay home or work part-time for a few years? Make a written budget and go through it and see what you can eliminate or reduce. Kids are so worth a little bit of material sacrifice.

Also, by not working you might pay less in taxes (lower income), save on gas, clothing expenses, etc.

If you must (or just want to) continue working outside the home, do you know any stay-at-home moms or retired women who would like to make some extra money? I'm sure most SAHMs would be THRILLED to earn even half of the going daycare rate for watching just one extra kid.

There's also the option of working from home, which is what I do.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Hadley2]

Amniocentesis is only used to screen for a very few genetic risks such as Down's, trisomy 18, etc. It will not show whether the baby has effects from fetal alcohol or drug exposure. Such effects can be severe, especially in terms of behaviors and brain development--although universal delays are not necessarily present and often aren't; they would also not necessarily be the worst, either, as some of the "isolated," permanent effects can be quite devastating personally for the child as well as for those who care for her/him. Please do some self-educating on fetal alchohol spectrum disorder and the drug exposure effects before deciding to pursue this course because you think the baby is "healthy."

We are a relative family adopting a child with both FAE and drug effects and a genetic predisposition to mental illness--another factor for you to consider, as many drug/alcohol abusers are self-medicating for a mental illness...a child with one severely mentally ill parent has a 25% or more chance of developing a similar mental illness. Those with two....

ETA: Also, in the dynamics of a private adoption, and forgive me if you are already understanding of this, until the mother voluntarily terminates her parental rights and signs an entrustment of the baby to you, she, and she alone, is the baby's mother. She is an expectant mother until the baby is born, and she is the baby's mother when the baby is born, regardless of any prior agreements--which are properly taken as statements of intent, not promises. Forgetting this and not acting on it consciously during these sensitive times can sow bitterness, discontent, and skewed perspectives for the future.

I am not trying to scare you or dissuade you, but I feel you need a lot more education in this area to make an informed choice.

Good wishes to you, the child, and your relatives. I hope the future is bright for all.