[jeeepgirl]

In Oct. 2004 my husband and I went to court with his son and wife to discuss custody of C.H., my husbands sons child. At that time, his bio. parents were willing for us to take custody due to that fact they were not caring for him in any way, shape or form. At that time, C.H. was 10 mths. So at that time we did not feel the need to mention in court that we thought they were using drugs, etc. The judge granted temporary custody, but in essence stipulated that the parents could petition the court any time to regain custody. This is in Virginia by the way.

So 3 1/2 years have passed and he is now 4 years old. he has been with us since. His Bio. mother lives in Ohio, has had another child and we believe has released the custody of that child to a relative. She has not seen or talked to C.H. in almost 2 years. His bio. father lives in a nearby town and saw C.H. at his birthday party in January, but averages short visits once every 3 months. Neither parent has offered support, either monetarily or emotionally.

About 6 months ago, bio. father expressed that he may be interested in signing adoption paperwork to get things started. So we took on the scary task of contacting bio. mom to see if she would sign. Our attorney then sent paperwork to her, she promptly signed in front of a notary and returned it to us. Then bio. father decided he did not want to sign. "He was just not ready." Even though he has had 2 dui's, no place to live and was recently fired from job. Our attorney then stated if we attempted contested adoptions "it would be opening a can of worms."

My question is there anything we can do to adopt this little boy, or at least to make his future more permanent than temporary custody? Can we terminate one parents rights and leave the other open until a later date? We have another child after him biologically and they are very close. It would break them both if he was taken, and the longer time that goes by the worse that would be.

Thanks for any input.

Cnth

[feelingreyt]

I suggest you talk to another lawyer, get a secound opinion.
I wish you luck. It doesn't sound like biodad really wants the child, he may just like the control he has over the situation, ya know?
Good luck!

[LoViN_LiFe]

I agree with feelingreyt about the lawyer situation. Also in Texas there are strict rules on abandoment. Id look into that for VA as well. Biodad seems to just want "braggin rights" not the responsiblity. Good Luck!

[mzsumthing]

I think you should petition the court for custody out right. This child in has been in your custody where you're providing a safe, nurturing, and loving environment in addition to supporting him/her financially.

I live in Virginia and have found the family court judges render verdicts which are in the best interest of the child. It is obvious the parents have had adequate time to 'get their acts' together and have no interest in the child outside of what is convenient to them.

I really believe you will not have any problems obtaining custody through order of court system.

[va_1776]

We live in Virginia and just received a final Order of Adoption for our 6 y/o granddaughter. She is our daughter's child and we filed for adoption without the consent of either parent. It was very complicated, took almost 2 years to accomplish, and was very expensive. In VA there is no temporary vs permanent custody. All custody is temporary and the parents can go back to court to ask to regain custody. We found Social Services to be very pro biological parents and were very worried that she would be returned to her Mom so we decided to go for adoption. It was a long haul but one I am glad we made. I know that it is a very difficult thing to do - petition the court to terminate the parental rights of your own child - but -it is sometimes necessary. Good luck and if I can help don't hesitate to ask. Where are you in VA? We are in the Hampton Roads area.

Jay

[jeeepgirl]

We are in Southwestern Virginia. We have a court order which says temp. custody, and like you said, there is no diff. between temp and perm. custody in va. We are just scared because I am a counselor and do a lot of work with people from DSS. He is not and never has been in custody of DSS but I know they share the philosophy of the court system in this area. "Get the child back to the bio. parents as that is ALWAYS in the best interest of the child...and there are cases, many cases where that is just not true.

What did you have to prove for the court to terminate the bio. parents rights against their will.?