[swcg]

Former member of international board coming to you with questions...

My brother and his gf are expecting a baby boy in 7 weeks' time. This baby was conceived within the first week of their relationship and despite attempts to settle into the idea of raising a family, gf is struggling with depression, anxiety and hatred toward my brother.

She has no interest in the baby or my brother, but says she is staying with him for the time being as she has no other place to go. We are discovering she has an extensive past with mental health difficulties including several suicide attempts, eating disorders and OCD. She has been hospitalized for these complications before, but is not interested in receiving counselling or treatment at the moment.

This in mind, we expect that her feelings toward the baby and my brother will not improve after birth. She has mentioned on various occassions that she would like to surrender the baby for adoption.

My brother (who I am very close to) would love to raise this baby on his own, but given the nature of his demanding job and the stress of this situation, he cannot foresee being a single parent.

Should they decide to surrender the baby, what is the process like for relative adoption in Canada? Could my husband and I assume temporary custody? Would we need to complete a homestudy prior to the baby's arrival?

Lastly, I am interested in hearing how any of you in similar situations feel about the blurred lines of adopting within the family. Although we have had an interest in adoption for some time, adopting a nephew is a very new concept. How do you cope? A whole new meaning to open adoption...

Thanks for any words of advice.

[twinspirit]

I am not able to answer all of your questions, but in Alberta, you do not need a homestudy done prior to placement of a relative child. In most cases, you do not even need to involve Children's Services. You may want to phone your local Government agency, as they will probably assist you in the process of kinship care and adoption and can inform you of all info that you need to know. This is based on info from our SW when such a situation came up for our family.

As for the personal family dynamics of all the emotions, I really do not have much that will answer your questions and alleviate your fears. But again, if you are able to get a SW assigned to aid you, then they may be able to offer counsil and help.

Good luck!