[This American Wife]

adopting sister's child (our neice)

we plan to be very open with our daughter about the adoption process, but i am not sure what terminology to use for the birth mom. it doesn't sound right to refer to her as the "aunt". our daughter will see her birth mom at yearly gatherings. my sister and i are not incredibly close, but the adoption was her idea and she still supports the motion.

i am in the process of making an adoption lifebook and want to get the adoption jargon down for when she IS old enough to ask questions and go through this lifebook. i've heard of how closed adoption terminology is often phrased, but not necessarily for my specific case. my baby isn't from another country. she's from my immediate family!

any help would be greatly appreciated.

[alwaysus]

We adopted from my Sister in law twice. Both as newborns. We do use the term Aunt because T is my husbands sister, thus making her Aunt. The older child (6)knows she is his birth mother, but he still chooses to call her Aunt T, because thats what his brothers and sisters call her ( we have bio kids as well) When Elijah is old enought to understand, he will know as well. Some people use first mother, Life mother, or birth mother.

[Marmy_4]

im not sure what i can offer as help but i can say that i can relate to your situation. i gave my sister my little girl at birth. she has three other kids but had to have a hystorectomy after her third. when my situation came up i decided to give her my child to raise. and her kids and i share a close relationship. they call me Marmy, the name used in little women because it is simular to mommy but not quite the same. they chose it because their sister will have two moms. this relationship is early in development (she is only 15 months old) but my sister and i have kept an open line of comunication and that has helped. good luck to you on your special situation. i have not found much help on the internet for a family adoption, so i thought i would drop you a line.

[rose32542]

We are at the end stages of the adoption process with our triplets (just waiting for a court date to finalize everything.) THe birth mother lived with us during the pregnancy, since triplet pregnancies involve alot of bedrest. I was in the room when they were born, and they have been with us since birth. In fact, I began breastfeeding them within an hour of their being born, and they are breastfed exclusively. They are four months old now.

The birth mother is my sister. They will grow up with her as an aunt and her children as their cousins. At some point, when they are old enough to understand and wonder, we will tell them she is their birth mother. She will still be their aunt too. I am their mother; my husband is their father; our biological son is their brother. Period.