[KEVINISHOME]

If you have read any of my posts, they are all relative to the MESS that I am in with the foster parents. The arguement is, they feel the child should be returned to them as it is is the BEST interest of the child. Yet, the agency see differently... for what ever reasons. They feel, the BEST interests of the child will be better met by another... doesn't even need to be me. It will not be them. We have adopted the child and thusly have been determined better. The arguement AGAINST us adopting is that we are black and that made us better for the black child. That is discrimination according to adoption law.

So, then. Because, we can exclude race. When then does BEST come into play. I would think that, FOSTER CARE is not an end all BEST solution for a child. I see it as what is available, therefore WHAT IS WRONG with best being better, when it comes!? NO MATTER WHAT COLOR IT IS? Why can we be better... because we ARE simply just that?

Now, if you can untangle that... your thoughts are welcome.

[lovemy6]

The BEST thing for a child is to grow up in a loving, respectful home. If that child is already in that kind of home, and has grown to love that family and thinks of those parents as HIS parents, then the child should be left in that home.

This is nothing against you personally, it's against the system. I know many people who have been bounced around in foster care their whole lives. Why? Bc the system didn't like the foster families to get TOO close to the children and visa versa. This is so detrimental to the child. Are you well read in RAD? This breaking bonds is what causes the severe mental issues involved with RAD. I have two adopted children with RAD. It's devastating to the children!

[kdibattista]

Knowing what I know about the situation... the BEST solution is for Kevin to be returned to his family. I pray that happens very soon because that is in HIS BEST interest.

[lovebeingmom2006]

I will be praying for you all tomorrow. May Kevin's best interest be served. "GOD BLESS YOU ALL"

[momraine]

Honestly I think too that it would be in his best interest if his foster family was allowed to adopt him. From the links you gave us, it sounds like they were not found to be unfit parents, but simply one silly rule is keeping them from being allowed to adopt him.
When I first started looking at adoption and we looked at adopting through the state, I was very clear that I would not adopt a child whose foster parents wanted him or her. I told the social worker that I would only take a child in that situation if they were proven to be abusive or something. Had I been in that situation I would have turned the child down. I would not want to be a part of taking a child from a home where he was loved and bonded because of a technicality. I also would have refused to participate in taking a child suddenly when the family was willing to do a gradual transition. I would have wanted to make it better for the child and for the child's sake I would have wanted to talk to the woman who had raised my child and knew him best. The state is at fault, the social workers were the ones wrong here and you just got caught in it. I have a feeling you would do the exact same thing in her position. If they win in court, will you appeal? If so you are doing the same thing you are angry at her for doing. You are both wanting to keep the child you see as your son. Perhaps had things been done differently you would have been friends. Had you done a gradual transition, maybe they would have felt better about you taking him and would have seen your love for him. I think the sudden transition probably hurt him a lot. I will keep him and both families in my prayers. A silly technicality has torn apart two families and one innocent little boy.