[1daat]

We are in a sticky situation, my husband and I and my SIL and her husband feel it is in the best interest of our whole family, that our niece and nephew be re-adopted, one by each of us two separate couples, from their grandparents (who adopted them originally from Foster Care after the kids were removed from the other sister in law (birth mother) originaly because of neglect). The kids grandparents are in poor health, obesity, heart disease, sedentary, diabetes, under a lot of stress, and are both past retirement age, and the kids are now both pre-teen special needs children (behavioural and learning disabilities) vying for the extra attention they crave and need, and grandma and grandpa just don't have the energy and patience it takes. We want to provide the stability and individual attentionthe kids need, while giving the grandparents the opportunity to focus on their own health and enjoy their retirement and each other.

I especially am concerned about all the legalities, and getting everything right for this 2nd adpotion situation. Grandma, my MIL, is resistant to splitting up the kids and giving up her control. Also, the grandparents do get AAP (Adoption Assistance Payments form the state because of the kids disabilities)payments for both kids, and wondering how/if that would be transferrable to us in two separate families, or what? I was not married into the family until 3 years after the initial adoption after 36 months of foster care, so I am just now starting to learn about all the technicalities and legalities of adopting. We have now been married 2 years and 7 months and being involved with the kids and in-laws all this time (we've been together for 4.5 years total), I believe it is the best decision for everyone to do this. If anything were to happen to the in-laws because of their poor health, the care of the children would fall to us anyway, why not start now and be prepared for it, rather than have it come out of tragedy and more upheaval!

Any "beginner" adoption info will be highly appreciated, as well as info about adopting kids who were previoulsy adopted, all within one family and splitting up kids and special needs! This is such a complicated situation.

[Lynard1210]

Hi there - I'm surprised nobody has replied to you before now. I guess the holidays are taking up everybody's free time. Honestly, I have never heard of a re-adoption. This is a very interesting post. Is it necessary for you to re-adopt? Have you considered Legal Custody instead? There is also guardianship. There is a lot of information about each way to go on this website. In my personal opinion, it would be kind of confusing to the kids to be re-adopted. It seems unnecessary to sever that bond and legal tie if the kids will stay in the family and the purpose of doing this is because of the grandparents concerns with aging. Although I understand you would need something "legal" in order to add them to health insurance and receive the adoption subsidy.

Just wondering how old they were when they were adopted the first time? How do the children feel about being split up? I'm not sure I'm totally clear on the all the details, but did you say the grandmother (adoptive parent) is not really in favor of giving up control? I can understand that. When the original commitment to adopt was made, I'm sure the decision was not made lightly. But at the same time, if the health of the grandparents preclude them from parenting these children into adulthood, it is a wonderful thing that you and the other family are willing to open your homes and add to the love and suport of these children.