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Originally Posted By Linda

I just found out my 23 year old daughter will give birth in a month and will give the baby up for adoption. I am devestated!!! What do other grandparents feel and how do you get over something like this???

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I am so sorry to hear this. Why don't you write a letter to be put in the baby's record at the place of adoption? You can state you want the child to have your name and address when he/she becomes old enough. And keep a journal for him/her about your feelings and keep pictures for the child. Good luck and my best wishes A friend

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Originally Posted By birthmom Jamie

If she has an open or semi-open adoption you can still be a part of this childs life so you can pass along the family legacy to him or her.Please discuss this option with her.My bson will know my mother & feel her love.

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Originally Posted By Peggy

My son's ex-girlfriend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on the 8th of January. She also gave her up for adoption. We tried to find someone who might possibly help my son, and us, be able to keep her, but were always told how selfish we were.

Maybe we are. Maybe I am, but I feel if there is one biological family member who wants her, they should have the opportunity to do so. For us, she was not an imposition. To us, she was our granddaughter, and we wanted her. My son is 20 years old, and really isn't in a position to care for her, but we are, and that is what he wanted. Why is it so selfish for a father to want his child, or a grandparent wanting to keep their grandchild? To me that is what family is for and all about.

We have a lot of love and care to give her. But we have not been given the opportunity. My son finally signed the papers for her adoption after realizing he was given no other choice.

It's amazing how the girl has the options, and the father's have none. He was willing to care for her. She broke off their wedding, she refused to work through things. And knowing how my son felt about this baby, she refused him and his family. Yet we hear all the time how father's walk away from their children. My son didn't want to, he was given no choice.

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Originally Posted By birthmom Jamie

My heart goes out to you.Like I said earlier you can still be in your grandchilds life if the bmother has chosen open or semi-open adoption.The door is open between my birthson & his paternal birthparents.If they want to send him something or meet him they can.Have you talked to the adoption agency?

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Originally Posted By Peggy

We have been given no information as to who to contact and the birth mother doesn't want us to have any news or pictures on the baby and the adoptive parents haven't made an attempt to contact us. I recognize the differences between my son and this girl, and I know things aren't working well between them. But she says things that are very painful and I don't understand her refusal to allow us any contact. I personally have done nothing to her. We thought for a long time she had had an abortion, so we left everything alone. I just don't understand why my son, or us, were not given the opportunity to gain custody of her. We as the biological family should have been allowed in from the beginning. We would have helped with whatever we could. I just feel such a loss, and such sorrow, and I just can't shake it off.

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Originally Posted By Peggy

My son's ex-girlfriend says this is an open adoption but I have yet to see any openness and have no way to find out any information. All I know is she went on the Internet to find the family.

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Originally Posted By S

You might consider some deep soul searching. If the mother is planning on giving up her child for adoption, it is certainly a painful decision for her. Obviously she feels the best thing for the child is NOT with either family. Personally, I think it's probably a wise decision on her part. Ask yourself WHY she feels like your family is not qualified to raise her child!

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Originally Posted By Kathy

Ask about adopting the baby yourself, if you feel devestated. Maybe she'll let you.

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Originally Posted By Kathy

Ask about adopting the baby yourself, if you feel devestated. Maybe she'll let you.

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Originally Posted By Lin

I just found my daughters paternal Grandmother after searching since she was born 18 months ago! We do not get along with her bfather, and her bmom(my niece) has not been in contact with us either. It was a wonderful experience for me, and with pictures and stories I hope she will remember it. I don't think a child can have too many people in their life that love them. Her bgrandmother has never done anything to hurt her, unlike her bfather, but she (the bgrandmother)should not be held responsible for that! Hopefully your grandchild's aparents will feel the same way. If they do not, then the suggestion to send things for the baby thru the agency sounds like a great idea. Even if the baby doens't get them till they are an adult it will answer some questions, and they will know they were loved. Hope this is of some comfort. I can be reached at murphy3411@hotmail.com if you have any questions. Lin

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Originally Posted By sjamison@woh.rr.com

i adopted the child myself. i did not want to lose her in the outside world;