[mumofone]

What a sad situation for all involved.

First off, I cannot believe your family will only support your sister if she aborts or places. That is so unfair. I have a cousin who became pregnant at 16, and her parents forced her to place. They could have easily afforded to help her raise her son......but chose not to.

I think it is wonderful that you and your husband are willing to adopt this new blessing if your sister chooses to place.

I hope your parents come around.

[Franaki]

We had a similar situation in our family, my sister has a 10 year old daughter who is bi-racial and (my sister still tells her she is tan because of my mother's Korean heritage) anyway, when my sister told my parents she was pregnant, she refused to get an abortion and had the baby, she went on the road as a truck driver and left my niece with my mother for almost all of the first 4 years of her life. She married (a white man and bigot) and settled down. 3 years ago their marriage was desolving and there was a whole lot of craziness going on in their house, the end result he committed my sister to a phycho ward and called me to come and get my niece or he was taking her with him across the country. I drove 7 hours got her and 1 bag of her stuff and left after he signed guardianship over to me for 1 year. I put her in catholic school, bought her a new wardrobe , my husband painted and prepared a nice room for her in our house. for the last three years we have come to love her as our own, but after the first year my sister showed up wanting to move in, we let her and life turned upside down. (my sister is bipolar, & depressed among other things) Anyway, she meet a guy in California on the internet and after only meeting him twice, she packed up my niece and moved there. My poor niece has been moved around so much, it has been so hard on my husband and I, and guess what...the relationship with the guy is not working out. I don't think I can handle letting her come back, but I want my niece back, if my sister asked to come back and I offer to take my niece and not her, I know she won't do it. So i know what you are going through.....

[rookiemom]

We had a similar situation with our niece! I would try to help your sister choose the most stable environment for her daughter! even though our niece only lived with us for 3 years, it did give her a stable foundation during a trying time. (ages 12-15)

[detroit]

Originally Posted by AngelsMommy

It won't be able to pass for "ours" so we'll likely get questioned repeatedly.

No, you won't get questioned repeatedly... unless you live in a really small town in the South or some other very narrow-minded place. My wife and I adopted a bi-racial kid. He doesn't look a thing like either of us. People very rarely mention it. They just tend to assume he's adopted and/or mind their own business. People close to us know he's adopted. As for other people... what do I care?

[Scarlett_A.]

Unless your sister comes to you and asks you if you want to adopt her baby, I can't imagine why you would even be considering the possibility.
Here's what I don't get. Your parents won't "accept" their daughter and her child, but somehow it might make things better if you and your husband adopt her child? Why would her child be any more acceptable whether it's you or her?
Sorry, not catching that. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I am also interpreting a lot of disdain for your sister in your post.
I hope your sister gets back on her feet, gets out of her abusive relationship and finds a way to take care of her two little babies, also finds a way to deal with the racism that is (unfortunately) so rampant in your family.

[scrapy]

Well there is alot going on in your family. I think that this baby deserves a loving home. And it seems as though you and your husband can give that. I pray that you all decide what is best for this baby and the 11 month old. I also hope that your sister makes changes in her life. blessings!