[happybride9]

Hello, I need some advice if you all can help. I have custody of my sister's daughter. My sister and her boyfriend are drug addicts. They gave birth to another baby last spring. At first I did not want the baby..a boy... and told my sister she would have to adopt it out. The baby went into foster care. I always told CPS I would want to be a part of this baby boys life. I have since SEEN the baby at a CPS visit, and realized that I fell in love with him and called my SW right away. I told her I wanted to seek custody and adopt this baby boy. Now there is a COUSIN on the Fathers side who wants to adopt the boy. This cousin lives in NY, I am in CA. Who do you think this baby will go to...not to mention the foster parents want to adopt the baby as well...so there are really three families fighting for this child. Do you think my chances are better because I have custody of the boys sister? Any information is much appreciated!

[Jensboys]

Depending on how old baby is, his foster parents would have standing to adopt him, as would you because you are parenting his biological sister. It would probably be competing interests about the best interests of the child to stay with his bonded parents (foster parents) or to be moved with his sister. Your interests would be secondary to his sister. Also it might make a difference as to what state he is in, vs you and the other cousin.

My suggestion would be to contact an adoption attorney to represent you in the proceedings.

[happybride9]

Thank you for your reply. He is 7 months old. Does it look bad in the court because I originally said I did not want to adopt him? Honestly, if he could not be with me, I would rather he stay with his foster parents, who live in the same city, then be sent to New York. I've been told these people from New York have a ton of money...should I be concerned? Isn't love all a child needs?

[Jensboys]

I think that his foster parents will have equal standing with you because it has passed the 6 month mark ... and that you will be ahead of the NY family (if you pass homestudy). I would just persue things as best you can - and maintain a positive relationship with his foster family if possible in order that you can maintain an open relationship with him if possible should the retain custody.

Good Luck

[mayamoo]

My 1st cousin is 10 mo. old and has been in foster care since birth....due to drug exposure. My husband and I are identified as a possible resource for her. We speak to the caseworker and foster parents quite frequently. We send "care packages" for my cousin frequently. baby is my uncle's child. Two other family members on mother's side are also identified as potential resources. The caseworker told me today....that these 2 resources are good (although no homestudies done yet) and that they live closer to the babies parents. I got the impression that the caseworker is leaning towards recommending them as adoptive parents. I am kind of upset, because according to the foster mother...noone except my husband and I and my mother has ever made any contact with her. Apparently they are only 5 hrs away by car....(I am 6 hrs away by plane.) The caseworker said that she would arrange a visitation if we wanted to fly there. How come the other family members haven't even attempted to see her?

My main concern is this.....if this goes to termination....will the fact that we live much farther away from the biological parents affect this case? Or will the decision be based solely on who can provide the best home for this child?

We got our homestudy done and approved 2 weeks after it was suggested (and paid for it ourselves, rather than waiting on the state.) I guess that the babies fostermom told the caseworker that baby should be placed with us and was told by said caseworker "it's not up to you." I wonder if I should just get on a plane and go visit......but I should probably save my money in case we do get custody of her. I just don't know what to do.

I am just kind of upset, because I feel that the other families haven't even attempted to see my cousin, when it really is not that far out of their way. And they didn't even send her a Christmas present.....(not that material things are that big of a deal) but I just think it would be nice if they acknowledged her in some way.

I really only want whats best for my baby cousin.....even if that means it is not with my husband and I. I just know i am going to be heartbroken if the decision is to place her with someone other than us. Thanks for listening......and I apologize for coming off as selfish.