[Catinia]

My cousin has a child. Rights of the mother have been terminated and father's will be terminated in January. Me and my husband are financially stable and qualified to be parents. The catch is we do not live in the same state as the child. The social worker has insisted upon putting the 3 year old with my mother(she lives in the state and he says proximity is an issue) who is terminally ill and unable to financially care for him. I have met with the social worker and he says it is up to her to determine her health. The dr.'s do not expect her to live a year yet she is still pursuing this. Besides her health, she is not suited to be a mother. I would know as I am her daughter.
We had a meeting with the social worker a couple of months ago. I walked away from it because I didn't want to make it a "fighting over" him issue. However, now that I have calmed down. I really feel I need to do something. I feel guilty for leaving him there with her in that situation.
Who should I go to? I have tried and tried with the social worker and I am getting no where. I really don't understand it. If we were to try and adopt right now we would be approved. I am a professional nanny. I get paid well to take care of someone else's children, yet they will not let me take care of this child.
I am considering a lawyer but wondering if that will do any good since it is a goverment agency. Specifically, the Ohio Jobs and Family Services.

[Lynard1210]

Hi Catinia,

It looks like nobody replied to your question. I am not an expert but if you are financially stable, I would definately get a lawyer NOW. I'm confused as to why the social worker would put the child with your mother, unless they are just trying to work the system in state. It is much tougher to move children from state to state (a lot of red tape). I would not trust Ohio Family Services (also known as Children Services in Ohio) to work for YOUR best interest. (I live on Ohio and have dealt with them). It seems that if nobody else wants the child and your mother isn't able to care for the child, you are the perfect candidate. The problem, it sounds like, is government bureaucracy. Get an attorney that specializes in adoptions in Ohio. Once the adoption petition is filed, the agency will be forced to address the best interests of the child. Right now, if you are not doing anything to make it happen, CS will do what is easiest and cheapest for them (like placing the child with your mom). Children Services have a mandate to seek family members first, so it is their job to do that. I think you have an excellent chance of adopting this child if this child is already on "permanent custody" status. (sounds like that may happen after January when dad's rights are terminated). Good luck! If I can help further, let me know.

Lynn

[Catinia]

Lynn,
Hi, thank you for your reply. I don't understand why he seems "stuck" on wanting the little boy to go to my mom. We are more financially, emotionally and health stable. It's enough to make you wonder.."what is wrong with me?" My only thought is that is must be the "red tape" issue. He just kept saying that "it was working with my mom" and they weren't looking for a "long term solution" but a "short term solution" which seems ludicrous to me. The next minute he is saying after 6 months they will have a hearing and she will be awarded custody. That sounds pretty long term to me. Then he would say "it's a proximity issue." I do not see how you can justify sending a child into a situation that isn't healthy just so you can say he lives in the same state as his siblings( he has two half siblings) especially when one of the siblings may very well be going to Seattle with his family. I've thought about "going over his head" but that doesn't seem like a good solution to me either. I'm just confused why it is even proving to be an issue. To me, any person with any logic would see he would be better off with me and my husband. We would be a family for him and not just a placement. Thanks to your reply, I am going to call a lawyer in the area. My biggest concern is we rent and we don't have an official "room" for him but space wise, we have more room that my mother does where she lives. It's all such a roller coaster.

[roxanna425]

Have you ASKED what the logic is? I am sure they would tell you.

[Catinia]

I have asked and the answer I get is that it is a "proximity" issue. That really isn't acceptable in my opinion. I have personally largely financially supported my mother over the last year. She cannot support herself. She is very ill. His answer to both of those issues was that the goverment would provide financial assistance and it was up to her to determine if she was able to take care of him. They haven't done a home study. The guy hasn't even been to her home. He has no idea where that little boy is going on the weekend.
I honestly feel it's just that he doesn't want to do the work. He originally had placed the little boy with his aunt regardless of our protest until finally I called him and insisted that he run a background check as I had heard that the police had just been there that weekend with the little boy there. Finally, he stopped letting the little boy go visit.
Whatever logic there is, it isn't in the best interest of that little boy.

[tdhoward755]

Catina,

You may try contacting family services in your state and asking them for advice -- how you might approach Ohio family services. I also think you should get an adoption attorney who is known for winning cases. If you are financially secure, this is an excellent option. You will get advice and assistance from a professional. Plus, a phone call from the right kind of attorney can go a really, really long way.

Good luck!

[Lynard1210]

Catinia, it is Lynn again. I just read your response to me today, 11/30. I thought about what you said the caseworker is saying, and it occurred to me that maybe the agency is attempting to give your mom legal custody. If he is looking for a short-term solution, legal custody, would get the child out of the system temporarily. Let's say in a year mom or dad get their act together, then mom or dad can ask for return of legal custody of the child to one of them. From what you are saying, it seems that the agency (children services) does not have permament custody. A child can only be adopted after the court awards permanent custody to the agency. Sometimes this is not necessary if their are family members who want the child. It sounds like it is possible that mom or dad are working their case plan and there is some hope in the future, that this child will be reunited with his family. If that is not the case, from what you know, and you want to be put in the running for legal custody, hiring an attorney to help you would be a good option. If you can't afford one, or you want to try and work with the agency, go to the next level. Request a meeting with the caseworker and his supervisor at the agency. Find out if the child has a Guardian ad Litem, a person, usually an attorney but sometimes a volunteer, appointed by the Court to represent the child's best interest. If he has one, contact him or her and invite him/her to the meeting. This person needs to know of your interest and involvement and can be the ideal person to have on your side. Unfortunately, living out of state can be a disadvantage, but use your email and fax machine like crazy. Put all of your intentions in writing and send them to the Guardian ad Litem, the caseworker, or anyone else that needs to know what is going on. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Waiting and doing nothing will get you the same result you have been getting. The caseworker has certain mandates and policies he is forced to follow. He is not concerned with what you and your husband want. His main concern is reuinification of the family and/or if that is not possible, getting the child with a close family member in the cheapest and easiest way possible. Remember, caseworkers are overburdened and underpaid and don't always have the support from their own supervisors or the government agency they work for. Some will do the bare minimum, others care but their hands are tied. If you have the money, hire a family law attorney to file a Motion for Legal Custody of the child to you before it is awarded to your mother. Once it is awarded to your mom, the agency involvement ends and it would appear to be a dead-end unless your mom agrees to turn over the child to you. If you have any other questions or if I can be of help further, my email address is Lynard1210@aol.com

Good luck!

[Katiebear7]

We had a social worker trying to block us from adopting our nieces stating she didn't want to do the out of state paperwork, when in fact she was telling the court "there were no other relatives." I called the court and asked who the GAL (Guardian ad litem) was and they gave me his contact information. When I talked with him - he didn't know we existed. He had me write a letter to the Judge who was overseeing the case and explained our situation. I sent the letter by FedEx and had the court sign for it. The letter stated I wanted to be heard concerning adopting my 2 nieces and asked the court why I was being denied the chance to be heard.

At the court hearing, the social worker gave her update with no mention of us. The GAL stood up and asked for the terminiation rights proceeding to be put on hold because there was an Aunt who would take the 2 girls (if the parent's rights are terminated - it makes it harder to get the children via kinship). The Judge stated it was about time someone spoke up because she received an interesting letter and the clerk handed out copies of it to all who were in the courtroom. The Social worker was found in contempt. The GAL moved for us to have a home study done and the INTERSTATE COMPACT paperwork was sent to the DSS agency in our City. THe GAL was also able to recommend several local attorneys and suggested we interview over the telephone.

DO NOT RELY ON ONLY THE SOCIAL WORKER'S WORD. You need to find out who all is on the case. Look up the JDRC in that city or county and call them.

If the parents are hooked on drugs then the child may have been born with the residual effects. This means they will probably have some medical problems.