[singingDolphin]

Hello
This is my first time posting and I just received some horrible news. My youngest brother was adopted three years ago. He was 12 at the time and I was 18. He has some serious issues, as most older adopted children do. He was abused in several ways and has just had a pretty miserable life. My husband and I provide respite care for him and have grown very close to him over this time. Now, my parents are beginning to think that A) they can't help him at all and B) its tearing the family apart for them to try. They are thinking of un-adopting him. Is it logical at all for me to desire to adopt him? Would this just tear my family apart even more? I dont even know if it would be legal for me to adopt him because I'm only 5 years older than him, but I'm married and live on my own. I just know that he has lots of potential. I feel like my parents are just looking at the negative in him and thus, missing the positive. He does have many negative points, but in my opinion, that should have been something they expected....
Anyway, I would appreciate any and all input on this topic. Thanks so much.

--Kathryn

[bromanchik]

It is certainly something worth exploring further. Definately look into it.

[singingDolphin]

Do they offer grants or loans specifically for getting a big enough house your family + an adopted child? Right now my husband and I live in a very small apartment. When my brother comes for repite weekends, he sleeps on an air matress in the living room, which I'm pretty sure would not pass the home study.....

[joskimo]

I think you should talk to your state office of family services or whatever it is in your state. When we took our nephews in, even before it was a legal relationship, we received a subsidy. However, if we adopted them we would have lost our subsidy. That might be different w/ your brother because of all the issues. Also, it may not be neccisary for your parents to relinquish rights for you to be eligible for subsidy. In fact, that might make things worse for your brother to have to deal w/ more abandonment. I know for my nephews they endured repeated abandonment by their mother, still do.

Good luck. Oh and with a family placement, I doubt age will be an issue if you have resources.

[Sledge]

Just my opionion but I would not adopt but get legal gaudianship of him. Adopting a sibling that close to you in my opion would be a mistake, but getting gaurdingship sounds like that might be the best option.