[chickenrunshrek]

Well, bmom has slowly withdrawn from our lives over the past 4 years. We used to see her several times a year but we haven't heard from her since last November. She is pregnant again (bdad already had another child with another young girl). We don't expect to hear from either one much. They still see her as the 5 month old baby that they relenquished custody of. They don't know how to interact with her as a pre-schooler. I didn't mention earlier but spousal unit is pregnant, due in a few weeks. The pregnancy has provided a great opportunity to talk about adoption with M. We've explained that some babies are in their Mommy's tummy and other babies are picked by their mommy and daddy. M had me laughing when she asked why God had put her in the wrong tummy. We explained that God is so busy that sometimes He mixes things up and the mommy & daddy have to go find their baby.

As for the relationship with bmom, don't worry about it. It will change over the years, that is the only thing that you can be certain of. Just remember that whatever happens, you are the mom and you know what is best for your child. Just relax. Parenting is the scariest, most exciting, and coolest thing in the world...

[grandmawishful]

my son and daughter in law became foster parents to a 4day old neice,she was taken from the birthmom due to drug problems. the bio served some time ,has been in the picture 1yr the child is now almost 3,now that this child has such a bond with her foster parents. now the bio wants her back and wants to break all ties with them.they are devistated,they hoped to maintain a relationship with the child they love her as thier own.The bio works two days a week,has lived in five places since she has been out,she lost her older child due to the same problem and was declared unfit mother.The foster parents have invited her to any special occasions and she can come by any time.we have told her that we will baby sit for her while she goes back to school,but her answer is no she will put her in day care. We just cant believe she can be so cold, the child cries and begs to come home she has just started overnights this month and the child is so afraid,she will say to me my daddy and mommy are coming back for me ?That is if they just leave for a minute.well the plan from dcfs is to return her to the bmom i guess that we will just be out of the picture from the sounds of what i have read.I so wish I could soften this for this sweet little child that I may never see again,we had so hoped she would decide to let us adopt her.they told us to have her ready in september just 3 more weeks.This is my daughter in laws family and they are a family that fights and alway must be the winner im not really from that kind of family and I dont know how to talk to them,they dont always tell the truth,they yell and scream and use lots of unspeakable words.any way just in case some one reads this its maybe not so good to be a foster parent to a family member it sure seems to cause a lot of trouble. Its to bad everyone cant just do whats best for the child,she didnt ask for any of this.

[chickenrunshrek]

Sadly, children are often used as pawns in power struggles within families. Not just in cases of foster parenting but also in divorces. It seems as though the focus of state children’s services agencies is still reuniting families at any cost, rather than what may be truly best for the child. A close friend is in a similar situation, although the child is 10. This may be of no consolation, but there is a good chance that bio-mom may be on some type of probation before her parental rights are restored. Hopefully the situation will be closely monitored by a competent caseworker. Good luck...

[NO LUCK]

Im very new to this board; however, Ive been a visitor for four years.
My situation began with my husband and I being comfronted by my them 19 yo niece which was about 3 weeks from delivering the baby. Up till that point only my sister ( her mother ) and father knew. She came to us insisting she wanted to go to college and a baby in no way fit into her plans. ** said she was putting him up for adoption regardless one way or the other. My husband and I have another son at the time was 5 and very much wanted a brother of sister. We of course said yes
Before the baby was born we went to our lawyer had papers draw up stating her intentions. The baby has been with us since he was 2 days old. To try and make and very long story shorter. The ** is still to this day not co-operating with us she is constantly missing scheduled appointment with the pc invest.
and the lawyer we have hired to represent her. We need some advise on what to do next. Our lawyer says if this doesnt get moving the putition maybe withdrawn. I want to try and have her parental rights terminated.the lawyer says if she has seen him within the last year , it would be hard. The ONLY time in 4 1/2 years she has seen him has been because to coincidence ie: holidays, family picnics .She has never come to visit (just because).
We live in Ohio and the law states if there is 1. no financial support - there has never been. 2. neglect - family can atest to this one. 3. Felony conviction - she has been convicted on two different occasions for her drug problem. 4. abandonment or Extreme parental neglect - she is a stranger to him at last count its been about 10 times shes been around him. Its not that she wants him, she has told other family members that she does not want him, never has. We are really ready to loss it. This little boy is our world .He calls us Mom & Dad and loves his brother very much. We are the only family he has ever known he is so much better off with us. We give him all the love he could ever want and a safe secure happy home. This has been going on for so long my husband and I feel like we are puppets on a string everytime we think things are moving along,we get a letter or a call telling us the opposite! We just want to move on and close this chapter . Can anyone give us some advise? I cant believe there is nothing we can do .we are ready to do what ever it takes! I have kept the extended family in mind for almost five years now not wanting to rock the boat and cause my relative to hate each other but enough is enough.
Please give us some advise

[NO LUCK]

Im very new to this board; however, Ive been a visitor for four years.
My situation began with my husband and I being comfronted by my them 19 yo niece which was about 3 weeks from delivering the baby. Up till that point only my sister ( her mother ) and father knew. She came to us insisting she wanted to go to college and a baby in no way fit into her plans. ** said she was putting him up for adoption regardless one way or the other. My husband and I have another son at the time was 5 and very much wanted a brother of sister. We of course said yes
Before the baby was born we went to our lawyer had papers draw up stating her intentions. The baby has been with us since he was 2 days old. To try and make and very long story shorter. The ** is still to this day not co-operating with us she is constantly missing scheduled appointment with the pc invest.
and the lawyer we have hired to represent her. We need some advise on what to do next. Our lawyer says if this doesnt get moving the putition maybe withdrawn. I want to try and have her parental rights terminated.the lawyer says if she has seen him within the last year , it would be hard. The ONLY time in 4 1/2 years she has seen him has been because to coincidence ie: holidays, family picnics .She has never come to visit (just because).
We live in Ohio and the law states if there is 1. no financial support - there has never been. 2. neglect - family can atest to this one. 3. Felony conviction - she has been convicted on two different occasions for her drug problem. 4. abandonment or Extreme parental neglect - she is a stranger to him at last count its been about 10 times shes been around him. Its not that she wants him, she has told other family members that she does not want him, never has. We are really ready to loss it. This little boy is our world .He calls us Mom & Dad and loves his brother very much. We are the only family he has ever known he is so much better off with us. We give him all the love he could ever want and a safe secure happy home. This has been going on for so long my husband and I feel like we are puppets on a string everytime we think things are moving along,we get a letter or a call telling us the opposite! We just want to move on and close this chapter . Can anyone give us some advise? I cant believe there is nothing we can do .we are ready to do what ever it takes! I have kept the extended family in mind for almost five years now not wanting to rock the boat and cause my relative to hate each other but enough is enough.
Please give us some advise

[chickenrunshrek]

Here's my advise. Cough up however money much it takes to see this thing through. You are fighting to keep your child and provide him with a permanent, stable, and loving home. Give no more concern to what your relatives might think. This has nothing to do with them. You and your family stepped up to the plate and provided for this child and he deserves to be with you. Remember, this is your son!