[momofalex]

My husband and I have a 9 mo girl of our own and are planning on having more. Husband's 17 yr old cousin "Ann" had a son early July and has been living with her mother (ex-aunt) who already messed up her grown son and "Ann". The father of the child is abusive and also a minor. He is currently under house arrest at his dad's and is allowed no visitors. "Ann" wanted to see him so her mom took her to visit and "Ann" decided to stay for a while saying (after 10 days) that she has raised the child enough. Hearing all this, and knowing that the child is in a bad place based on past observations my husband and I have extended the offer through MIL to adopt the baby boy. We live in FL and they live in VT

I am just wondering..... (assuming she decides to let us raise him)

Can we do this without state intervention... it seems to cost a lot of money.
Can we take custody before the adoption. I am still breastfeeding my daughter and could also feed him so that he gets those benefits?
How do we start the process?
We would raise this child as a sibling to our bchildren...how would we have him relate to his grandpa (our Uncle, good guy) and the rest of the family. we usually see them ~1 a year for a holiday.
We have actually started 'working' on another child, which we will hold off on if this is to happen so that there won't be a 19 mo, 10mo, and newborn in the house at the same time


I would appreciate advise, I know this may not happen, but if it is going to we would like it done as quickly as possible. We have talked about adoption in the future after we have had our bchildren to help out others, this is just a bit sooner and

thanks so much

[SurprisedAMom]

If you truely want to adopt your nephew, the first step is to contact an adoption attorney in your state. They can give you all the steps and cost associated with the process. You can do a private adoption without all the state intervention. But it could still cost you some money upfront. Luckily the government gives you a $10,500 federal tax credit for the year in which the adoption is final. (I don't know the exact total for this year but it is somewhere around that. There is another forum on this site that has that info.) My state also has a $500 tax credit.

From my understanding the adoption can go pretty quickly if both bioparents agree to sign "termination of parental rights". This, as it says. terminates any rights that they have to the child. At the same time the courts can award you gaurdenship of the child until the adoption is final. Ours took 6 months after the courts accepted our application.

The attorney will have the specifics. And check the laws in your state as well as the laws in which the child currently resides.

Hope this help. Good luck with 2 young ones in your house. My biochildren were 15 months apart. And I have several friends whose children are only 12 months apart. It is fun! Some say it is like having twins!

[joskimo]

we took 2 nephews several years ago. We qualified for AFDC stipend of $554 a month for care for them. whent he situation with their mother became bad we then involved the state and aquired legal guardianship, the stipened remained which was nice. We havne't done adoption because of their age and the benefits they receive because of the legal guardianship. If it's a family placement with all partieis in agreement you should be able to hire an attorney and do it.