[Gen]

first off hello to all. I'm new to the forum and the adoption process. Well, me and my mother who lives in NC. I am trying to get some info on her behalf. OK, here is the story . .

. . When my mother remarried, she gained 2 step children. My step brother always stayed in and out of trouble and has visited jail on more than one occasion. His girlfriend is the same way. Almost 2 years ago, she gave birth to a little boy and after social services became involved over domestic abuse and a couple of drug charges, their son was placed with my mom and stepdad. They were given guardianship and have had him over a year. About 2 weeks ago the status changed from guardianship to custady and social services wants to be able to close the case and step out of it altogether around october. The parents will not volunterily give up their rights to him even though both of them sit in jail as I type. They are both looking at the very likely possibility of at least a year, probally more, in prison because of current drug charges and other felonies.

My question is how long does my mom have to wait before she can start the process to adopt him, and how likely is adoption if the parents won't sign the papers?

Any help or advice would be greaty appreciated.

Thanks,
Gen

[RevMomEleven]

Most states have a time period that Social Services is required to honor when considering the termination of parental rights. In Maryland, for example, it's 15 months. At that point, they are required to consider a permanent plan for the child. It sounds as if NC has already done that in this case by gaining custody instead of guardianship.

After adopting a number of children through the foster system, my husband and I agreed to raise our grandson - going through the legal system to gain custody on our own. Eventually, you can seek to have parental rights terminated by proving the parents are unfit. Considerable jail time, lack of contact with the children, etc would be grounds for termination.

My best advice would be to contact a lawyer who has considerable experience in this field. In our case, we went to the attorney who handles the foster care cases in our county. He knew the judges, procedure and laws better than anyone else. It can take a long, long time. But, the courts will eventually be willing to grant termination of rights for parents who aren't or can't be involved in the lives of their children. They certainly don't have to agree. It's "in the best interest of the child" not the parents. At least, that's the law.

Good luck!

[mcione]

A good source of information can be found at grandparentsforchildren.org. Bridgette Castellano and her husband are wonderful and will offer some very solid info for your state.

Good luck.

[Gen]

thanks alot guys for the help and the wishes of good luck. it looks like the parents are going to be in prison for a while, so hoefully we can get this show on the road. i love that kid like my own brother and my mom has been the best in the world to him. If we can get this all in motion I know he will be loved and have every chance in the world that he wants. Between my mother and I, he will always know that he has a family.

Thanks again to you both!