[quiver full]

Hello, I am new to this forum. I am very nervous about a pending home study that we are having done.

My cousin has recently relinquished her parental rights and my husband and children have been "chosen" as their new parents. We are certainly okay with this, however, we are a little anxious about what to expect from a home visit.

I spoke with a case worker from our county (which is not the county where the children are currently in foster care) and they say that it is nothing at all like a foster home study. I walk around wondering if they are going to turn us down because I am not a great housekeeper, or because I don't have everything quite toddler proofed yet, etc. I am a bundle of nerves over this.

I certain will obtain everything I need to care for these babies, (they are 1 1/2 and 2 1/2) however, my children have ben out of the toddler stage for about 5 years now. I am scared taht they are going to say nope, sorry. I want these babies out of the foster system a.s.a.p., and I don't want to be the ones to muck up the proccess.

Does anyone have any tips or words of wisdom for me. I am a pastor's wife, and I have a lot of ladies inthe church who have offered to come help me simplify things around the house and make room for the children, but I want to focus on things that will matter to the case workers, not just busy work for nothing.


HELP!! I am in the state of Washington and I was told that if all goes well, we could have the babies by the first week in February.

[bromanchik]

Get the book "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best. It is a great book and will help all your family with the transition. Also, get all the records you can get your hands on.... the kids medical and social histories, etc. They may be young, but, at the very least, they have suffered some loss. Who are their caregivers? What caused them to seperated from your cousin? All of these things are important.

[quiver full]

Thanks for your reply,

While we know their brief, but quite eventful history, we are sure there will also be some unknowns to deal with. We do have their medical history from the past year that we have been following them.

Fortunately, there seems to have been no "direct" abuse or neglect of the children. However, I anticipate potential emotion issue as a result of there being shuffled around for the past year.

Because the mother was in rehab and trying to get her children back (time and time again) they could not/would not send the children to live with family members, because all available family lived approximately 5 -8 hours away. The mother and grandmother (who was also not capable of raising them) insisted to the case workers and the court that there were no other available family members in the picture. They thought that would buy them more time to straighten up. 10-12 months later, they told the courts about my husband and I. The caseworker then asked why we were all of a sudden interested. We explained that we had been following things and offered our availability from the beginning.

So, finally, my cousin decides that it is better for her and the children if she were to relinquish and have the children placed with us. The caseworker from their county now agrees that we should take the children, but I am just antsy about that home study. I have never had my home/family evaluated before.

Thanks for the tip on the book. I had seen it online several times. My husband is going to try and find it.