[june_starr]

Hello, I haven't spent much time on these boards yet, but I have read a few posts. I am a 25 yo adoptee raised as an only child but with step siblings. I have had little to no desire to meet with my birth parents yet. My mother passed away in January 2010.

I have very little experience in relationships with men and I have trouble maintaining friendships. I have two friends that I have from college that I am trying to reconnect with.

I just started dating someone and while I have dated before including just ending a three month fling or thing with a guy before I met this current guy. The three month guy I didn't really feel that strongly about. Before that I only went on a couple of dates with guys.

Most of my life I have avoided intimacy as much as possible. One evening in college, a friend from middle school / high school said in another friend's dorm room that she didn't know really much about me even though we had known each other for so long. This was a light bulb moment for me. I am no longer really talking to her and I haven't talked to the other friend in three years except for last month when she facebooked me.

However, now that I have met this person I am beginning to feel really anxious. I haven't had any anxiety attacks but have been close. At the same time, I also feel like I have to disconnect from him and I am having trouble saying personal things about myself.

Does anyone else feel disorganized this way? I have mostly read this book called Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep— by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. While it was helpful and I felt comforted somewhat I still felt like what they were saying about using certain strategies wasn't as helpful as it could be. Especially, when I want to be close and pull away at the same time

[jaykay007]

Originally Posted by june_starr

Hello, I haven't spent much time on these boards yet, but I have read a few posts. I am a 25 yo adoptee raised as an only child but with step siblings. I have had little to no desire to meet with my birth parents yet. My mother passed away in January 2010.

I have very little experience in relationships with men and I have trouble maintaining friendships. I have two friends that I have from college that I am trying to reconnect with.

I just started dating someone and while I have dated before including just ending a three month fling or thing with a guy before I met this current guy. The three month guy I didn't really feel that strongly about. Before that I only went on a couple of dates with guys.

Most of my life I have avoided intimacy as much as possible. One evening in college, a friend from middle school / high school said in another friend's dorm room that she didn't know really much about me even though we had known each other for so long. This was a light bulb moment for me. I am no longer really talking to her and I haven't talked to the other friend in three years except for last month when she facebooked me.

However, now that I have met this person I am beginning to feel really anxious. I haven't had any anxiety attacks but have been close. At the same time, I also feel like I have to disconnect from him and I am having trouble saying personal things about myself.

Does anyone else feel disorganized this way? I have mostly read this book called Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep— by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. While it was helpful and I felt comforted somewhat I still felt like what they were saying about using certain strategies wasn't as helpful as it could be. Especially, when I want to be close and pull away at the same time

I dont know here where to start. I had a wife like you and I studies this condition for 6 months after my divorce seeking anwers. I even mistaken it for Borderline Personallity Disorder.