[AAJORDAN]

This is my first attempt to seek advice or anything else online. I was adopted at birth. I had a wonderful upbringing. I am married for almost 4 years with a beautiful 17 month old little boy. I have recently been feeling like my marriage doesn't provide me with all the emotional support and nurturing I think I need, and have mistakenly found someone who does. I am terrified of losing my marriage and my life as I know it. My history with men is not great. I have actually never been single. But also never been faithful. Will I ever know what's right? I am so utterly, overly confused and depressed about the situation. Any thoughts?

[ripples]

Dear AAJORDAN,
I have read that adoptees, including me, often suffer from attachment and intimacy issues - and perhaps your unfaithfulness patterns and current feelings about your marriage are related to this? If you Google "Seven Core Issues of Adoption" or "Deborah Silverstein" you'll find one of the writings that are widely circulated at my local post-adoption support center.

Good for you for seeking advice here - may you find the people here as supportive as I have.