[svm1217]

My husband and I are just starting to educate ourselves on adoption. We just found out some very good friends of ours daughter is having twins, and know that she is considering adoption, but has yet to make up her mind. We are considering approaching them and offering to adopt the babies.

Has anyone out there ever adopted a baby (or even twins) from someone they knew very well? I think we would have a great relationship with the maternal grandparents, and allow the babies to have a relationship with them, my concern is the birth mom and how to set boundaries. Any thoughts?

[peanutsmommy]

perhaps you should let them approach you. It might come off as wrong and might be a little coercive. If you are close then the parents probably know you want to adopt

[Juliana13]

I would not appropach the prospective birthmother - she has enough on her plate without thinking that other people want her child.

You could put together a letter to her with a picture portfolio - like the agencies show, and give it to your friends, her parents. Ask them to show it to her only if she chooses adoption, or wants more information about prospective adoptive families. I would make sure your firends know your position as hopeful adoptive parents, so they can pass that info along to her, if appropriate.

The only reason I say this is that you might not find out she's chosen adoption until she's chosen a family, and if she might choose you, you want her to have that option. That happened to some friends, and when the birthmother found out she was sad: "I wish I'd have known you were hoping to adopt!"

[svm1217]

They don't knw that we are looking to adopt, we are very private, I was thinking of approaching the the parents who are friends of our, I know it would be a difficult conversation, but really would like to at least let them know we are available. Thank you for your thoughts.

[svm1217]

Thank you for your thoughts, I agree with you not to approach the birth mom, it would be too difficult. We will probably talk to her parents, or maybe let this one go, my husband is very concerned about the close proximity of us and the birth mom. I think it could be a wonderful situation for the maternal grandparents (my parents are both gone) and hopefully for the birth mom, knowing that she could see the babies and know that they are very well taken care of. So many desicions to make..........

[quilliam]

SVM1217, Did you end up Adopting the twins? Just curious if you did and how the situation is coming along?

[Mike06]

I myself was adopted to a lady friend of lady friend of family who lived close to birth family. Was strange feeling growing up adopted knowing who birth family was.