[wishkah311]

I was recently dumped by the man I wanted to marry. Then, less than three months later, my best friend essentially chose to end our relationship. She made it clear that I mean nothing to her. I have been looking back over my past relationships a lot. I feel like I have neglected the few people that wanted to stick by me. It wasn't on purpose, it just sort of happened. Then, I chose to pursue friendships and relationships with people that were not right for me. Now, at the end of the day, I am alone again (naturally). It seems like my life has been a series of people leaving me. My birthmother, my fiance, my best friends, other boyfriends. I have only had a few stick by me and I know that I push them away sometimes. Why is it so hard for me to just let the people who want to stay get close? I want so badly to be loved by someone other than my a parents. But I can't seem to let the right people love me. I know that I am terrified to be left again, but it just happens, that is part of life. I have put myself in the position to be left alone. I know I don't trust people. Maybe I just chase after the people I expect to leave so that it won't hurt so badly to be left. At least it isn't a surprise when I end up alone. Will I ever be loved? Will I ever fully love someone else?

[Jackiejdajda]

I hope you will find the love of your life..

Julia Cameron writes in The Artist Way that if we want something and work towards it we will get it..

You are at least seeing what is happening in your life..
Maybe write positive things about yourself..

Think positive things..

Jackie

[Ninaburke]

I can not say I can totally relate to what you are saying. There is a book that I really think you should read. It's called "In the Meantime" The author is Iylana Vanzant. I might have mispelled the name but I'm close.


P.s. I know how it feels to want to be loved and can not get it. I feel I love so hard and in return to get the same. Especially from my adopted mother. She raised me the best she could be emotionally, she is and always has been so unavailable.