[heartened]

Wherever you are on the adoptive plane, I'd like to hear what sort of support system you rely on to get you over the rough spots. Who do you turn to and what is it they do which is most helpful to you?

In my case, right now my biggest support is a combination of my husband (who tries very hard to be here for me in all ways) and those who read/comment on my blog. The feedback I get is incredibly helpful because it comes from all over the adoptive plane. And of course, I get support from these forums as well!

One thing I'm really thankful for is all the first moms I've gotten to know through blogging - having the chance to hear from them helps me consider what feelings my birth mom may have experienced and hopefully, I'll be more aware when I finally find her.

[Umbilical child]

I rely totally on my wife............it is pretty rough at times but she is fabulous.........I internalise a lot but these forums are a great outlet as well.

[eastendmommy]

I have had to rely on myself for the last 25 years, so it's hard to ask for help... My husband has tried very hard to understand and be there for me. I think that he has succeeded, for the most part! He has been surprisingly supportive and emotional throughout the start of this whole 'process'. Has asked the right questions, offered up solid advice, and said that he'll be there for the reunion and transition, no matter the outcome. Can't get any better than that! Of course, the forums have been a real lifesaver for me to read of others situations too. To be able to chat with others who have been in similar circumstances is very healing and cleansing, and makes you realize that you're not alone. Tammi

[AwaitingBeloved]

DH and my other best friend.

DH will give me all the hugs and be afraid with me. My other best friend will give me pep talks and be there for me emotionally. She gets to the heart of most matters pretty effortlessly and just gives perspective. She's been a God send.

[lahdh4]

I rely alot on J's bdad, my ex. We still talk and see each other once in awhile. I ended up shutting him out and we are working on talking more. I used to rely on a friend who is also B's stepdad but I just stopped because everything I was telling him was what I wanted to say to B.

I talk alot with my counselor. She isn't surprised to have a message from me when I call her up when I get home from work and my mind just won't slow down so I call her up at 1:30 in the morning. Some days if I hadn't called her in a few days she will call me up just to make sure everything is okay.

[StepDad]

In all things in life, my wife is my support system, but in this particular journey that we are both on, I am the support for her for once! Big shoes to fill, hope I do okay. StepDad

[aisha101]

I would have to say my best friend. I have a husband but his questions are forced like he knows he should be asking but really does not care. When I mentioned that I may of found my birth family and that there were 6 sisters I really did not get a reaction from him and after a few weeks I finally had to ask him why he was not asking me any questions. It hurt for a while but men are not all there emotionally at times unless it involves themselves I suppose.

[kelleymac]

My husband is my number one support all the time.

When Jonah first came home and things were in such upheaval, it was our close friends and neighbors. They had us over, cooked for us and just reminded us that they had gone through all the stuff with their little ones too.

And the Guatemala forum on this board. They were a godsend when we were waiting to bring Jonah home and then answered a ton of "new mom" questions once we were home.

Now that we've relocated, we have extended family nearby and they are a great support system for us, although we feel like we need it less now.

Kelley

[healingfeeling]

My Fiance and my aunt are my biggest supportees. I think my fiance sometimes gets tired of it though because he sees how sad I get sometimes. The forums are helpful...but sometimes they too can be harsh.

I'm working with Christi doing some coaching and that has been fantastic!!!!!!!! Its great to get indivualized support from one who understands.

[JoEvans]

My husband is my biggest means of support. He supports any discission that I make. And I want to ask his opinion on matters first. Since what effects me, effects him also.

These boards have been helpful. There are a variety of suggestions and opinions. The one thing I like most about this board is, I have something in common with others who are struggling with adoptions/reunions. I can choose rather or not to take the suggestions and oppose the opinons.

I don't really have to listen If I dont want to. lol.. Jus kidding.

[Montraviatommyg]

My husband is my first line of support, then one of his cousins whom we are close to then my husband's sisters.

Pip

[nsanders]

We get a ton of support from a playgroup we joined after our son's adoption. It is mainly families that have adopted children from Asia, but not all.

Actually, our SW has also been very supportive once she got to know us better.