[jikaf]

Hi everybody

I didn't know where else to go, so I am coming here cause I have recieved some help from some great people here before.

A bit of background: My 26 year old husband was adopted at birth and he badly wanted to find his birth family his entire life. He kept talking about it but didn't pursue anything so I decided to do it. I found a private investigator, hired her and she found his birth mother within 2 weeks. This just happened last week and he has now spoken with his bmom several times on the phone and they have exchanged letters and photos.

It is a dream come true for him and i couldn't be happier for him. But now I feel left out and lonely and I'm angry at myself for feeling this way.
Whenever my husband and his bmom talk on the phone their conversation last hours. He is really happy though and he said that they have so much in common and they are like the same person they are so alike.
Why is this so hard on me? Why can't I just be happy for him and not think about myself? I am just so lonely cause it seems suddenly now that he found his bmom that it is all that matters to him anymore.

Jess

[Kellster]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Many people call this phase of reunion the "honeymoon period". The emotions that your dh is experiencing now are very intense, so I think it is normal for you to feel "left out". Your dh's focus is currently on "another woman" and I think that many wives would feel at least a twinge of loneliness in your situation. As you stated, this is something that your dh has wanted all his life- even before you came along. I am sure that he is not purposely excluding you. Eventually, the relationship will lose its newness. Once it does, you can let your dh know that you would like to be included. Ask him to invite his bmom over so that you can get to know her too, etc. Give him a bit of space now and I am sure that he will be grateful for your support. You are only human, so don't beat yourself up. I am sure that many spouses have gone through the same emotions and hopefully, they will post here too!

Hang in there!

Kelly