[VJane]

my son requested our reunion when he was just 15yrs. this has happened and we have had some great visits to him and he to us. He is having a hard time being a teenager and recently does not respond to any messages or texts that i leave for him. It was his birthday and I phoned a few times, but he was never able to speak to me. His A mum says that he has attachment disorder.
I am just feeling so sad again.
I did what I thought was best for him when he was adopted, but how I wish that I had known.
I will just have to keep leaving messages every now and again, but he wants love - he has love from his A family and has been shown love from his B family too.

[banjo]

Hi there,

I am in an open adoption with my 14 year-old daughter and it's been difficult too over the last two years. She does not ring, and I don't think her amother would let her email me. That might happen over the next year or so as she gets a bit older. EVeryone tells me it's just the age and to hang in there.

So I now expect nothing but still do the basics ie birthday, easter and xmas. I know it will improve and I have to be patient for that to happen. You are not alone.

What is attachment disorder?

lol Banjo

[Montraviatommyg]

All you can do is carry on letting him know you're there for him when he is ready, attachment disorder isn't that uncommon but can be worked through from what I understand. My bson's adoption was closed so didn't have any contact till last year when I found him by accident - he was searching - so haven't gone through the problems you have though I do sympathise. I don't fully understand about the problem so can't come out with any useful suggestions.

Philippa

[Relieved]

Wondering how things are going for you now? Are your attempts at making contact any better today?
I'm praying for you.

This is for those who are not familiar with
Attachment Disorder: http://www.attachmentdisorder.net/

[scarlet52698]

Hey VJ,

I know how you feel (kinda). My 19 year old son has been hesitant to contact me directly so I've been talking with his mom via email and letters. I do think it is the age and the fact that he's a boy. From the male adoptees I've spoken to the concensus seems to be that it wasn't until they were older and had children themselves did they feel a pull toward birth family.

Hang in there and keep sending your love and support his way. He'll come around eventually.