[lacey_mae]

Hi everyone!
just a little background on me: 20 year old female adopted at 6 months to the greatest parents in the world. Closed adoption but always aware of the fact.
At 19 I received an email from someone claiming to be my birthmom. that was over a year ago...since i have met most of my biological mothers side.
here is one of my dilemmas... I am one of seven children biologically. My Bmom still has three of my siblings in the house, and one sibling that is older with her own children. I have tried as i might to make relationships with these siblings, but one bit thing stand in my way. MORALS VALUES!
I was raised in good ol Iowa with rules, chores, and most of all a strong structured life style! These girls are only 16 and 13 and they are allowed to do anything and everything! They have no curfew, no discipline and defiantly no manners!
They are allowed to swear, post age inappropriate material on websites like myspace, and completely disrespect others!
how do i over come these barriers to create a relationship with them?
HELP

[cksmom]

Originally Posted by lacey_mae

Hi everyone!
just a little background on me: 20 year old female adopted at 6 months to the greatest parents in the world. Closed adoption but always aware of the fact.
At 19 I received an email from someone claiming to be my birthmom. that was over a year ago...since i have met most of my biological mothers side.
here is one of my dilemmas... I am one of seven children biologically. My Bmom still has three of my siblings in the house, and one sibling that is older with her own children. I have tried as i might to make relationships with these siblings, but one bit thing stand in my way. MORALS VALUES!
I was raised in good ol Iowa with rules, chores, and most of all a strong structured life style! These girls are only 16 and 13 and they are allowed to do anything and everything! They have no curfew, no discipline and defiantly no manners!
They are allowed to swear, post age inappropriate material on websites like myspace, and completely disrespect others!
how do i over come these barriers to create a relationship with them?
HELP

If you really want a relationship with your sisters (or cousins?), then you can't judge their choices and the family life they have. You may have to overlook some things that you don't agree with but it's really out of your control. Take the opportunity to be a good influence on them. You may be related by blood but you grew up totally different which is not their fault.

[lacey_mae]

I try to over look alot of things. and i am working on it. I was posting asking advice on how to deal. other than...just deal with it...

[cksmom]

Lacey_Mae,

I'm sorry if you thought I was being unsupportive!! I was trying to help. Good luck to you!

[annehj2]

A great place to get support and advice is AlAnon. Having spent some time at those meetings I learned that people who do those things you mentioned have few or no boundaries. It's not their fault, but you gotta protect yourself, too!

AnneJ