[L@@king2]

Originally Posted by reiscmi

Was it the same reasons as me? that I wanted to have control over something when previously I had no control and I wanted to be the one to decide when and where if at all there would be a reunion. I personally don't think it is appropriate for a bmom to initiate a reunion.

Oh gosh!! Maybe that's my mistake... I was the one that searched... (a bmom here!)

[L@@king2]

Originally Posted by gemini678

I have been told repeatedly to leave the past in the past but this is a part of my present and always will be. How do I embrace the woman that abandoned me??

gemini - Have you asked her "plain honestly" WHY she left you at her friend's house? just a nosey-nellie!!

I learn SO much from the adoptees on this board! Thanks all!

[PastorStephanie]

Originally Posted by L@@king2

Oh gosh!! Maybe that's my mistake... I was the one that searched... (a bmom here!)

L@@king2, I think every adoptee is different. As an adpotee, I was personally grateful for every step my bmom took to reunite. I very much needed her to reach out to me too. If she had taken no intitive to search I would have felt as though she "still didn't want me". The fact that she searched for me and came for me was very healing for me. Obviously, others have felt differently... both responses make sense to me. I wouldn't neccessarily jump to the conclusion that you made a mistake with your bchild simply because you found her...

[txrnr]

Originally Posted by L@@king2

Oh gosh!! Maybe that's my mistake... I was the one that searched... (a bmom here!)

I echo what the good Pastor has said. I'm not searching, and don't have any plans too. If my birthmother found me, I'd like to believe I'd welcome that. I think it all depends on the parties involved. I don't feel a strong need at this point, and don't want to interupt anyones life, although I wouldn't feel as if mine was being intruded upon.

[L@@king2]

oh thank you for replying PastorStephanie and txrnr - I appreciate it! and your responses have helped too! Now I don't feel 'as bad' as before!!

If you guys don't mind - could you read my letter (of Sept 2007) - in my journal - some people have said it's too raw - and emotional. But I wanted to leave it that way, as this might be the one and only and last letter I might be able to send to her... and I wanted her to know HER story. What do you think?
Thanks again!