[InBlindFaith]

My daughter is now 18. She has graduated from High School and has now left for college out of state. This was a closed adoption. I have been very fortunate that she was placed with a wonderful family. She has always known she was adopted and her a-parents apparently have been very supportive and good to her.

I have always maintained contact with the agency. When my daughter turned 18 I told them I was ready to met her whenever she is ready and to let her parents know I am very thankful they took this little baby in their hearts and home and raised her as their own.

I received an email this week from the Agency telling me her father called. He appreciated the fact that I was respecting their boundaries and did not want to disrupt their lives. Her parents have talked to her about meeting me. Right now she is focused on college. Maybe after things settle down. They wanted me to know that she is smart, sweet, etc...

She has been to the MySpace webpage I created for her. I have revamped it a bit this past week. Telling stories about what I'm doing now, included a picture of me back then and pictures of now. I am keeping the stories light, enough to make her smile at least.

Once she is away at college would she be secretly checking out my MySpace webpage to learn more about me?

When would you be settled in college enough to want to make contact? First semester? Christmas Break? Summer Break? Fours years from now?

There isn't the concern about her a-parents, they are supportive of her when she is ready. I do agree she needs to get settled in college first...but there is a part of me that is so anxious about meeting and getting to know her!! I'm just so excited about her parents being supportive and she knows I want to meet her!! But this has to be done at her pace...

[Averne]

I'm currently in reunion with my birthfamily (both parents and four of six siblings) and am about to enter my junior year of college. My siblings first contacted me during spring break of my freshman year. For me, their timing was perfect; I was taking an anthropology class that semester and my professor spent a great deal of time talking about geneologies, which naturally got me thinking about my birth family more than usual. Just when I was heavily contemplating beginning my search, I found out that my siblings had already found me!

My parents were concerned about me meeting my family while still in college - once I turned 18, they encouraged me to hold off on my search until I graduated - but I'm glad that I'm forming relationships with them now rather than later. My siblings and I are all very close in age, and we're at a point in our lives where we're trying to make our own way, so it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep in contact. Had I not met them until after college, it may have been even more difficult to make and maintain our relationships.

While my reunion with my birth family has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least, I think that this is the best time in my life for it. Of course, everyone is different, and every adoptee handles the stress and joys of reunion in their own way.

My birth mother and siblings have been very respectful of my privacy throughout the whole process, which I think is very important. Your daughter knows that you have made yourself available, and it would probably be best to give her room and allow her to digest the information in her own time. I think your mySpace page is an excellent idea!

I know that this is much easier said than done, but it may be better for you to be patient and wait for her to contact you. She obviously has some interest in knowing you if she's been checking up on your site! College is a hectic time, especially during freshman year. She'll be making new friends and re-defining her self-image, figuring out who she really is as a person apart from her parents. I'd say keep updating your page and let her know that you're available to meet her whenever she's ready. That will show her that you respect her privacy and feelings, but that you're as interested in meeting her as she is in meeting you. Letting her go at her own pace in the beginning will make for a better relationship later on.

I'm glad that her adoptive parents are so open and supportive, and I hope everything goes well for you! Just take things one step at a time.

[Birth4Mom3]

Hi!

I'm not an adoptee, but I'm curious how you know she visited your MySpace page?

Did her Dad tell the agency that?

(wanna know cause I've done the same thing)

[InBlindFaith]

I'm just so excited right now!! Knowing that her parents have been wonderful and they are supportive is what is helping me keep my patience...which is hard to keep!! LOL

My fingers are crossed that once she does get settled she will want to meet. This has been a roller coaster ride for me to say the least. I'm exhausted by the end of the day due to the intense emotions. I really do hope she does keep checking MySpace, I am not sure if she only checked the one time or if she is checking frequently.

Someone found my daughter and sent her an email. This person told her about the MySpace Account I had set up. I'm not sure if her parents know about the MySpace. I did a search for her and came up with nothing so there is a possiblity she set one up secretly. So I don't have the details.

I originally had some old pics out there and a little blog about my relationship with her father. A friend suggested she would want to know about me now. So I removed the old pictures except for one, added current pictures and started a "light hearted" blog about every day stuff. So she could get an idea of what my personality is like. I wish I knew if she was checking it incognito...and I wish I knew if she was getting curious

[LeiLei]

I am an adoptee and I recently reunited with my b-parents. It was something I wanted all my life and thought I had always been "ready". I am a firm believer that you always need to know where you came from and even if you don't you cannot escape who you are. I think that is one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp. Saying that I will say that it was a lot harder than I anticipated, life with 4 parents is complex to say the least and interacting with someone you are finally able to physically identify can be scary simply because you have never had it before. All I can say is stay strong and whatever supreme being you believe in or higher power will bless you when the two of you can emotionally handle it. The two of you will need eachother even more than you know. Feel free to reply if you like.