[Mihoshi]

I always read don't do this or say that to your adopted child, and I fully agree with most of it. But I'm very curious to get the opinion of people who have been adopted at an older age - what did your parents do right?

Maybe that's too generalized. If you remember coming to your new home, what was said and/or done to make you feel comfortable and safe? If you had siblings that were your parents biological children, what positive things occured to make you feel included as a family member and on the same level as those siblings?

I understand that there aren't any manuals that apply to every child, but I also know that kids can personalize anything (I've seen it where a dad hands a $10 bill to one of his sons so that the two children can get dessert at Wendy's, and the one who was not handed the money protested it was favoritism that his brother got to hold it). Things that we think are silly, or don't even think about, can mean a lot to a kid - so I'm trying to start making myself aware of how to produce equality and what to be sensitive with.

[WLD]

Great question! I hope you get many replies. I adopted a 5 year old last year and right from the start i noticed he kept picking up family pictures and looking at them so I started snapping pictures and putting them in frames of him by himself and with each family member. I then took him to the dept store and had his picture made. He would smile every time he went through the house and saw them but then i noticed he kept looking at an old group family photo. My husband hates having his picture made so we only have a couple and their old, anyway he finally said, "i'm not in the family picture" something i didn't think about till he said it. Anyway, i can't wait to hear from adoptees so that i can be aware of it too.

[confusedguy]

I was adopted by foster parents I was with when I was around 9 and I remember that my dad/mom would introduce me as thier "son" ( not adopted son, etc )to others and if the subject came up would mention my adoption. That is one of the most positive things I remember from childhood.