[Donna35LDA]

A Late Discovery Adoptee myself, I am looking for other folks who found out later in life, say past the age of 18, that they were adopted. Turns out, LDAs are an oft-overlooked subset of the adoption world and I would like to change that. I'm a graduate student at USC working on my thesis/book that tells my story, the stories of other LDAs and the side effects of a lifetime of deception.

[FLgirl1958]

I'm not sure if I am the type of subject you are researching or not. I found out the day after my Dad passed away that he was not my birth father. I was 47 years old Needless to say, I was quite shocked. Both of my parents are deceased now and I have been trying to locate my birth father without any luck. This has been a very stressful time in dealing with this information. It has not changed my opinion of my parents, my Dad will always be my Dad and my mom did what she thought was right at the time. I was never treated any different than my siblings. But it is strange knowing that you have another person out there that is responsible for you being here. Does he ever wonder about me or even care? I know that he knows about me. Anyway, just rambling on. Good luck with your thesis.

[merrill1277]

In the supermarket yesterday, during the course of a conversation between the check-out woman and a male customer, the man was asked if he had any children. He right away said he thinks he might have one 'out there'. Something about hearing about a girlfriend (in the past) being pregnant and he looked for her but she was shuffled away by her parents somewhere, they moved, and he hasn't been able to find her. But this just goes to show that this man is THINKING of this (possible) child... of his... that he has tried to find out about, but without any success. There's so much we don't know about men and how they feel/think about children lost to and raised by others, but I'm sure for many there is a lot they think and feel about it.
merrill

[Scintilla]

Hello,

I am a Late Discovery Adoptee and have just found and joined this forum. Are you still looking for LDA's for your thesis? My discovery came about just over twelve months ago at the age of 44 and I would be more than happy to provide you with my story, thoughts and feelings in regard to this devastating revelation.

[LLAPHoping]

Hello. My name is Lisa and I am a 41 year old LDA. I don't know if you are still working on your thesis or not but I may be able to help you: I can tell you that the very words " a lifetime of deception" caught my eye and made my stomach feel a bit uneasy. I had a vague feeling growing up that something just wasn't quite right. My parents were both tall, I was short. My amom was dark complected. Both my parents hard dark brown/black hair. I was an only child. I was overprotected. There was always this dark secrecy thing hanging around in the back of my subconcious that wouldn't let up. I got drunk at 15 and finally had enough courage to ask my aparents if I was adopted. They looked at me as if I was crazy and why would I think such a thing?! I went on to tell them "Why" and I was flat out treated like I was just stupid, I 'm not quite sure, because I was pretty drunk, if they flat out lied or just totally evaded giving me a direct answer. I knew. But I didn't. When I married at 18 and my amom had to give me my birth certificate she seemed real uneasy. I was working shortly thereafter at a security guard place doing telemarketing and the owner had a brother who was adopted. I must have talked a lot about my concern as towhether or not I was adopted because I remember her telling me that one way to tellfor sure is tolookon my birth certificate and where it says signature of mother, it will be typed in. That seemed so easy. I looked probably as soon as I gothomethat day from work. SILENCE. SHOCK. DECEPTION. ANGER. DISBELIEF. FEAR. ALL at once, in a moment, as i stared at the tiny box where the small print said "Signature of parent", and my amothers' name was typed, sure enough. But that still wasn't enough. I let it go. I didn't deal with that fact/non fact, who knows? I didn't. Not for sure. And who cared a whole lot anyway. My friends from high school? My first husband whom I married and told my concerns about whether or not I was to? I was never beat. I lived a serene middle class life. My parents didn't smoke,drink, fight. How dare I even complain with all the people in the world who hadn't been adopted and get abused horribly or don't have half the things I had growing Up?

My amother died not knowing whether I really KNEW or not. I was in my twenties. I did not have my adoption validated until I think it was 1993 or so, after a suicide attempt in which I was in a coma and the doctors told my ex-husband that if I did happen tolive, I would be a vegetable and on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, I was an eleven. Well, I'm still here today. And if you're interested inhearing more, I've got a lot to say about the effects of LDA"s. Sincerely,
LLAPHoping