[InfeK7]

[color=darkblue][font=arial][size=1]I'm new to this forum, but I am working on my senior project (HS) and I thought this place would be a good resource and outreach network, not only for academic purposes but very personal ones as well. I'm 17 and live in Boise, ID. I was born April 16, 1987 in Seoul, South Korea,and..like most of the people here..searching for information on my biological parents. I was looking over my file today and I reached the document labeled : Reason For Relenquishment. Apparently I was the product of an affair and was born 3 months premature. I read the small bit of information on my birth mother over and over. She was 43 at the time and could not live with the shame her family would bring up on her. I just wonder, does she think about me? So many thoughts are running through my head and it brings me to tears.

[banjo]

hi there, of course she does think about you., but i can't tell you exactly what she thinks! I bet she prays that you are having the great life that she wanted for you.

She will miss you but could have managed to quash those feelings over the years. lol banjo - bmother

[srchin']

I'm an adoptee and I often feel just frustrated. Why am I looking but my families NOT. WHY WHY WHY?? Then the search is hard and frustrating because doors are constantly being slammed in your face and it sucks! I don't always feel this bad about it but sometimes these feelings are just overwhelming. Somedays I hate being adopted and I just wish I was like the rest of the world and was with my natural family. How else am I supposed to feel??

srchin'

[Amy24]

... I'm 17 also born in nc 10/23/87 I have the same thoughts and question does she think of me, is she looking at the sky at the same time. Your not alone in that one.
~ Amy

[srchin']

They say it's a small world but it often doesn't feel like it. Have you seen the movie Annie.....you remember the song where it says "betcha he reads betcha she sews maybe she's made me a closet of clothes betcha their strict as straight as a line.......don't even care as long as their mine" I just want MINE. How childish is that? My adoption is in no way compariable to hers...I was never in an orphanage or anything like that, but I do dream about my bio family and wonder about them the same way. Oh well that's just my thought for the day I guess.

srchin'

[blankenb4]

As a birthmother, I cannot imagine not thinking about a birth child no matter what the circumstances of the birth.

Barbara
ISO bdaughter 6-6-71

[srchin']

As an adoptee it's good to hear a mom say that. I've never been on the other side of the fence and I could never imagine what it is like to be there. It has to be just as painful if not worse than an adoptee. I get self absorbed sometimes when I get in one of those "poor poor pitiful me" moods and I forget to think what it must have been like for my mom and dad to give me up. They were both there together and both filled out the paperwork for the agency. My dad even saw me after I was born and the paperwork was filled out so thoroughly that there is no doubt that they loved me and wanted the best for me. I just tit cause I forget about all of that when I start to question why they aren't searching for me. I have to realize that there are a whole new set of reasons why that may not be happening.

It really is good to hear from birthmoms though. I wanna have some insight as to how my parents must have felt and went through with the whole adoption ordeal.

srchin'

[kersey19]

Srching -- I was not looking for my daughter for a number of reasons. The main reason is that I did not want to disrupt her life. I had placed her for adoption and, in my opinion, I gave up my right to know her. She found me last December -- and I am so thankful she searched for me. I tell her she is the bravest person I know.

Did I think of her over the years? The answer is yes -- often. I wondered if she was healthy, if she had a good life and if she was raised by a loving family. Thankfully the answer to all of those questions was yes!

Placing a child for adoption is incredibly difficult -- each of us handles our emotions and the situation differently. I can't tell you how your parents felt but I can guess they felt sorrow, regret and possibly guilt. It seems to me these are common feelings among birthparents.

Best wishes on your search -- I hope you connect with your bparents. Having my daughter in my life is the greatest blessing of my life. -- Jill

[zookeeper08]

Does she think about you?

Absolutely.

Keep searching.

[snuffie]

Yes, she does think about you. My bmom named a doll after me and ran from the room crying when my sister played with it. No one ever knew why until I showed up.

[barbara1972]

I am a reunited birthmother. My daughter located me 4 years ago & I was so happy she did! At first emotions are so intense,all the memories (good & bad) come rushing in on you all at once. Just hearing her voice on the phone was the 'special gift' you lost years ago - during a very stressful and emotional time in your life.

She has three siblings,but she will always be my 'special one' - Yes,I do believe birthmothers think often of their adopted child. Be certain - she will always remember you!

[Mrs.G]

My amom used to tell me that my birthmother surely must be thinking about me especially on my birthday. I wasnt convinced until i found her. She told me that she always thought about me and even was sad thinking she would die without knowing what happened to me. They may not want a "family" relationship with their child but they usually are curious if nothing else. My bmom told me she loved me and she remembered my birthday every year. When I found my bmom and she didnt want to meet me, at first I was heartbroken but I read a book called Birthmothers and it gave me insight into what they are going thru. She said she didnt look for me because she didnt think she had the right to. They also have new lives and new families and often their adoption is a secret which they fear will become uncovered. Despite all of this , they still think about their child. I hope this can give you some comfort. Remember God loves you and you can always talk to the Lord and Keep praying for Peace.

[Paul Whittaker]

I'm sure she thinks about you. I have three teenagers growing up without me and I think about them every day. I feel nervous though, about the prospect of actually meeting them. What would they think of me? What should I tell them about their origins - do they really need to know they were products of a passionate but very abusive, messed up relationship? Will they ask me for money? I think it's too bad, though, that your mother was made to feel your birth was "shameful". Good luck.

[srchin']

I guess in my heart I have no doubt that I'm thought of and all of you are right about the fears running on both sides. I think the court is going to unseal my records soon and I really don't know what to do next. I just don't know...... It would be so nice to have a simple answer but I fear that it's not like that. I guess it's something I have to do on my own and figure out for myself. Contact or not????

srchin'

[blankenb4]

I Would Definitely Go For Contact. Otherwise, You'll Never Know.

Best Of Luck,

Barbara