[khnath]

Bringing Up Boys is a book written by Dr. James Dobson, and we have found it to be helpful in raising our son. Our son started to withdraw from me and turn to my dh around 18-20mos. old, and before I read this book I started to take it personally. However, this is the first natural break to learning about what it means to be a boy/man. He is now 3 1/2 and Idolizes his dad. Papa can do no wrong. I am happy to know that our son is just following a natural progression. Our son does enjoy spending time with me too, and we bake cookies or do art projects, and go shopping; he's really into shoes. Loves the shoe stores.

[debsdone]

Gotta love those little boys! As an inexperienced young mother, I was going to raise my boys exactly like my girls and they would be sweet and sensitive. WRONG! Those car noises and monster sounds are just part of them! I learned fast! My boys are both very sweet, but also very BOY! LOL Love, debi

[faith_amom]

I LOVED "Bringing Up Boys." I grew up w/no brothers, no local male cousins, and a distant relationship from my father, so I was CLUELESS when it comes to specifics for boys. "Bringing Up Boys" clued me in!!

- Faith

[vicrose]

You may think that your little boy idolizes your husband now, but wait it gets better for you as the years go by. My son is almost 14 and he is soooo loving and caring!! He tells me he loves me all the time, and is just overall such a great kid!! Boys are sooooo GREAT!! Have fun!! Sincerely, Brenda

[denise marie]

Gotta love them boys...My boys are 14 and 10 they are so loveable they love to hug and kiss.they are so easy to please.My boys both think their dad is all that and then some.thery dont get to see him alot as we are divorced and im remarried.But they love to be with mom and stepdad just as much.Great having boys.They are more loveable then the girls.

[1more2luv]

As a mom of 5 bio boys I feel like I have learned a thing or two about raising them. Mind you, I by no means have this figured out!! We have no girls in the family (other than me) and I think that plays a large factor in the relationships and energy in the house. I always thought of myself as a girly girl so this has been an awakening. I have 5 distinct personalities with 2 even being identical twins. Birth order has a huge role to play in this. A great book is Dr. Kevin Lehman's "The New Birth Order Book" It will give you insight into why kids respond the way they do. It always drives me crazy to hear parents say,"I can't understand it. We raised all our kids the same way....." If you are trying to raise your unique kids the same way you are on the wrong track. Foundations and values, yes, conditions and situations vary. My boys certainly are not where I want them to be, but they are kids! My oldest is 11 then 9,7 3 and 3. I tell people I am in process. I am not done with them yet. They make me nuts some days, but boys are so full of energy. I try to give them room to move and be boys. You can't make a boy who wants to do "boy" things want to do "girlish" things. My kids generally do not play quietly. I do not get worked up over that. I also don't run to them if they get a minor "boo boo" or scrape. They get over it a lot faster on their own if they don't have an audience. I DO give lots and lots of hugs and kissses which they return with vigor. Parenting styles have changed over the years. We can no longer assume the collective public is going to reaffirm our priorities and values. I must keep the communication lines open with my kids because they will get info somewhere!

[tricia3]

Living in my house with my 3 boys is like living in the monkey cage at the zoo!!!! I agree with all of your comments, they're so true!!! Also read the book "How to Raise a Son" highly recommend it. I esspecially like the comment

I tell people I'm not done with them yet

I think I will have this put on a t-shirt and wear it everywhere I go. LOL Tricia

[vicrose]

To those of you who have little boys...have no fear...it does get better as the years go by. My son was a crazy little kid...could never sit still....would always go missing in the store...hiding in the clothes racks...wrestling with his little buddies in school....but as the years have gone by, he has gotten a lot more mellower.....and even though he has aged me a little...it's ok...because he has been such a joy!!! So, have no fear ladies....it will get easier!!!! Hugs, brenda

From a mom of 4 boys(and one girl)....gotta agree with debsdone, I ,too, was going to bring them up gender neutral....no play guns allowed in home...they made them with legos, straws, whartever...exposed them to dolls....no dice....both my older boys now at 21 and 18 are senstive in there own way...but very much boys. Their phone calls consist of "hey,,,whats up....ok....bye" They HATE the phone...my daughter(almost 14)_ on the other hand ....well....you know. With that being said my 11 almost 12 year old son(part of a twin) is very social and talks to his friends on the phone rivaling any girl I know!! So alot is personality but presented with gender differences....does that make sense!

[nancynic]

Hi,

As mom to two sons, now grown and independent, I'd just like to say that parenting boys is such a gift (girls too of course but I have more experience with boys).

It's important to honor a boys love for his father. It's also important to teach boys that it's OK to be in touch with his feelings and to be kind, loving and nurturing. My sons have always been very communicative within our family and with their friends and partners.

Some things in life are beyond gender ...

NancyNic
Parent Forums Moderator

[dadfor2]

lol........too funny. I brought my younger son to a bowling birthday party. It was for a girl in his preschool.

He was the only boy there........the mother of the girl said to me "should your son really be doing that?" with a judgmental tone in her voice.....you know when the bowling balls pop up the ramp so you can get a ball...well, my son, when the balls came up, was kinda helping them along making a swooshing sound.

I said "why? is he doing something wrong?" she said, "well, he might get hurt"

I asked her if she has any boys, she said "no"

I then responded, "well, boys will be boys...." I also said, if he gets hurt, well, then he wont do it anymore...."...lol

plus, i think it got her upset because when it was my sons turn, he pretended to be a real bowler and with aggression, threw that ball down the lane....lol

I felt lke asking her "if you didnt want boys to come, then why did you invite them?"...but i didnt.

actually, my boy did quite well, just had a hard time sitting next to me waiting for his turn. BUt its a party, and i didnt think he needed to sit right next to me and wait for his turn.

I was so happy when another boy showed up, my sons best friend, and they started playing together. Im sure that woman was going to have a heart attack...the other boy wanted to arm wrestle my son, and of course he obliged...

like dpen6.....lol....i too do not allowed any toy weapons in my house. weapons are bad, i remind them...but to no avail....i have guns made out of everything possible. have you ever seen a toilet paper roll gun? its very creative.

i will never forget bringing my son to disney on ice....all of a sudden, he takes his straw and starts shooting the characters......i couldnt believe it....

i actually didnt know how to respond to it. so i just said "did you get any?".....he said "yea, five of them....".....lol

i guess its just inavoidable..boys will be boys...i also read 'bringing up boys'....that was a great book.

dadfor2

[StevieGirl]

Originally posted by dpen6
no play guns allowed in home...they made them with legos, straws, whartever...

I had to laugh at that. I'm a mother of 2 boys. My 4-year old was obsessed with "building" guns out of legos. I think not letting him have guns made him more obsessed with them. So now he has a few toy guns (the noisey ones that give me a headache).

I love having boys! People ask if I'm going to "try" for a girl next. But if I did get pregnant, I'd secretly be wishing for another boy. They just love their mommy so much, I can't get enough of it.

[DinPAis2adopt]

First, I want to start off by saying that I agree... "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. Dobson is a great book! I recommend it to every parent of a boy.

I love to be "Dad"! There's not a better feeling than your 10 year old son telling you how smart you are, or how "That is cool the way you fixed that!"

Many people do not realize how important "Dad" is... it is unfortunate in today's world that there are so many boys without a father in their life... who will teach them how to shave? How to change a tire? I know that there are some things that moms can teach too, but so many of the every day "life skills" that it taked to grow up to be a man need to come from "Dad"

Boys learn from good fathers how to be good men, good husbands, and good dads themselves. There are many things that it takes a man explaining, teaching, and being a role model for the boys to learn from. Who else can a boy look to? A NFL star? A rap singer? PLEASE! Give me a break! Boys need good dads in order to grow up to be a good dad.

I challenge all of you other dads (and moms too... talk to the dad!) to think about very thing you do and say... the boys are watching!

D

[kllee4]

As a mom to four boys, I began praying for a girl with the first one and then fell head over heels in love with my baby boy! Needless to say, I prayed for a girl each and every time after that and 3 more boys followed!!!! LOL In looking back, I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. They have taught me so much and I was NOT prepared for the differences since it was just my sister and I!

My house is NEVER spotless, NEVER quiet and NEVER withouht some sort of commotion and I LOVE it!!!!! They are so sweet and kind and having so many of them, they always have someone to play with (although one minute they are playing and the next they are wrestiling or arguing over something) but the moment one of them are gone, they are asking where they are and when they're coming back.

They adore my husband and all of them have a special relationship with their dad. They all have distinct personalities (with the youngest being the most challenging - LOVE the birth order book!).

To all of those parents of little boys, hats off to you and congratulations!!!!!!

kllee

[roomformore]

The very idea of being pregnant with a boy was so odd feeling for me when I first found out. I just was totally unprepared. I was from an all girl family(except Dad)and was not around many boys. It really took some getting used to the idea of having a boy. Being around girls really didnt prepare me for all the fun awaiting me. My little guy-now almost 6-has taught me so much. He is so much fun. I really missed out not having a brother. I didnt know you could ride a laundry basket down the stairs or shoot things off the ceiling fan! Of course his sister is not as enchanted by all his mischief as I am.