[teacher2mommy]

I am wanting to get ideas on how to control certain behaviors of our new fs. He is 5 yo and acts out sexually. He pulls his privates out of his pants to show, he tells people to 'lick his weiner', and he has tried to convince another child in another foster home to let them touch their privates. I know some of you had to have had experience with this....We are not sure exactly what has happened to him but the SW is also convinced that he has been abused.
He has a little sister and we have bio children in the home and really want to nip it in the bud before anything could possibly happen.
We have know general rules to lay down, not in room alone with anyone, doors open, always in sight, etc. Some help with what we should say etc when he does these things. He is in therapy and are looking into additional therapy with a sexual abuse therapist.
Any help from experienced foster parents is much appreciated!

[jackiesbooks]

I have had 4 fc that have been abused and one that sexually act out. None of they were that vocal. Is anyone trying to find out who did this to this child? If he is this vocal, he will probably just tell you. I would be very careful around your other children. Alarms are necessary. They can never been left alone together.
Does he have visits? The abuser maybe visiting him.
I would talk to the therapist, but eveytime he did something sexual, I would remind him that was not appropiate.

[teacher2mommy]

He never says that anyone abused him, he has said he watched mom and dad do these things but it is much more than that....his bio mom is a sex offender....he has been left alone with several other sex offenders due to the living situation that they are in. Most sex offenders are limited to where they can live which puts them living with other sex offenders in apartment buildings and such. These other offenders became their friends and left alone, major drug abuse and mother has mental problems. So we don't really know....he still does get visits right now, 2 hour supervised at this time.

[joskids]

I have experience. Never leave him out of your sight with your other children. I know how difficult that is, being "on patrol" in your own home, but for the safety of your other children, it is necessary. These children can groom other children by teaching them to "massage". Tickling and wrestling games should be off limits. Sexual acting out on your other children can happen very quickly, even when you feel you are being very careful. I agree that monitors also are important, baby monitors work well and alarms should be on the bedroom door because these children can get up at night in order to accomplish their sexual acting out. It sounds like you are willing to do whatever necessary to keep everyone safe.

[kxl164]

We are just now starting to have concerns of sexual abuse in regards to our foster son. He has been here for over a year and we knew that he had been abused, but as with little children you never really know what happened.

Now he is suddenly always on top of his brother and he has started urinating on himself when he is unclothed and gets the least bit stressed.

I know part of this could be age, and part of it could be linked physical abuse, but it has started worrying us.

I just don't know if behaviors like this could lay dormant for so long, or if since he has been feeling more secure and visitation has ended that he is letting us know now.

He is already in therapy, but is there anything else we should be doing?

[teacher2mommy]

Redirection of inappropriate behavior and consistant therapy with a good therapist that will include you at some point after fs is comfortable with therapist. Sexual abuse can come out as a child or as long as an adult or even never in some cases. Some children just block it out of their mind until something triggers it. My husband is a therapist and worked with sexually abused children for several years. Although he knows how to tell others what they should do with their children it is really hard for him to know exactly what to do with ours.