[twinkie07]

We adopted two brothers; both have ADHD. Our 6 yo has more of the hyperactivity aspect. Although he has greatly improved, he occasionally has a temper tantrum or acts out when he gets upset or angry.

Before I begin, our son was having issues gorging on his meals, gagging, and throwing up. This resulted in extensive testing and other than GERD, he has no gastrointestinal issues.

Even when he isn't acting out temperamentally, we will find urine in his clothes basket, trash can in the bathroom, on the toilet, floor, etc. He also has begun defecating in his pants. Over the weekend, my husband found feces all over the bathroom and all over son's bedroom. Nothing had happened (discipline, privileges taken, etc) to upset him.

There is no rhyme or reason. He will be fine and all of a sudden go through a phase acting out like this.

There is no history of sexual abuse. He's a smart kid and knows what he is doing is wrong.

He has a lot of anger issues toward his birth parents and was exposed to a very neglectful situation (dried human feces was all over their bathroom). So, I don't know if he is trying to emulate his birth parents, expressing his feelings, or if it is something more.

Prior to this, he had an episode where he scribbled with crayon all over the floor and then another time found a marker he had hidden and colored on the bookshelf.

Overall, he is a good and loving kid and has so much potential.

We make him clean up his messes and take away privileges when he acts inappropriately. "Natural consequences" have proven to be successful since the boys moved in. But is this the most effective way to handle this behavior? Does anyone have any suggestions?

[qs mom]

Is there anger? Any change in school? Change in schedule? Change in meds?

Any of these things might set my son to a similar behavior. My son was urinating. It was a combination of changes at school and anger directed at me.

Everyone told me to make it his issue - not mine. That was very hard for me. But, we worked through it, I really tried to step back, and passively try to find out what was going on in his head.

You need to find the cause first, then work on what to do about it.

[lisasd]

Has your son undergone a psychological evaluation to see if he is attachment disorder? If he hasn't, he needs to, even if you have to pay out of your own pocket.

Kids who are diagnosed as reactive attachment disorder (RAD) do not respond to "normal" behavior therapy, such as discipline or rewards. They are in a whole different world that requires different parenting.

If your son has had a psych evaluation and is not diagnosed as attachment disorder, see a psychotherapist who is familiar with adopted kids who may have been neglected and abused, if this was your son's past.

[mama3veces]

I would like to aggree with previous post. We say similar behaviors with our now 8 year old son, we are now seeing a therapist who specializes in Attachment Disorders and I cannot stress to you the difference between the work/growth that is taking place now compared to the therapist our son was seeing before. It is worth the hour and a half drive (each way) and the out of pocket expense (our insurance won't cover) to be actually getting help from someone who understand Reactive Attachment Disorder and how to help us. Good luck to you!