[ndoscoptec]

My 5 year old son, adopted from Korea at the age of 6 months has been diagnosed with Selective Mutism. He is very talkative at home and will talk to my husband and I but does not diectly speak to anyone else. We have found a great therapist who has helped a lot. What I was wondering is if there are some other adoptive children with the same situation. I am trying to decide if his adoption has anything to do with this or if it is genetic (we have just adopted his brother) or enviornmental.

MLH

[Dr. Art]

Selective Mutism has no genetic or biological cause. It is a psychlogical condition that can have several causes:
Family relationship related or
Related to the current nature of the attachment (similiar to childhood separation anxiety).
All of this could have indirect roots in the adoption in that there could be some basic insecurity. However, it is important to remember that, generally, children adopted before the age of six months of age fare no differently than those raised from birth...so most often issues such children have are rooted in the current family.

[ndoscoptec]

That's not what I wanted to hear...It's all MY fault .
It's always something you think about as an adoptive parent. Is this an adoption issue or is this something enviornmental. On the plus side, my son is in treatment and is doing very well. He actually spoke to and around some of his classmates today. He had not spoken a word in class since school started. Thanks for you help!
MLH

[dadfor2]

i would have to disagree.

i did suffer from selective mutism, but it didnt hit me until i was in 2-3rd grade. it was not adoption related, because im not adopted.

it wasnt 'family' related, becuase my family was fine.

It was ME realated....lol. I have no idea what it was, i still am not sure. i havnt really investagated it, because it was so long ago.

like your son, it was only at school...'selective'...at home you couldnt keep me quite....maybe it was a safty issue?....but it was so painful not to be able raise my hand to go to the bathroom, i would hold it in all day...

and then came the class presentations......'dont get me started on that'....

[Dr. Art]

For a young child to stop talking, that indicates some difficulties in the family relationships. There are not bio or genetic causes.

[ndoscoptec]

My child did not stop talking. He has never spoken freely outside the home without my husband or I present. Even at Daycare when he had begun speaking he didn't speak much there. My understanding is that it is an anxiety disorder and the causes are not really known.
MLH

[Dr. Art]

There is a pretty large amount of professional literature on the subject. Yes, it is considered an anxiety disorder. It is known to not be a genetic, biological, or neurological disorder. It is a psychological disorder. Since a young child's psychological development and interpersonal behavior are largely shaped by the environment (family), it is considered related to family processes.

[dadfor2]

dr art...i would have to disagree, only because this was my life.

my family llife was fine, i suffered alot of anxiety as a young child that actually crippled me.

it came tumbling down when i hit the 2-3 grade, i would not say a word. For me, i was just full of anxiety. the school would call home to find out what was going on...but my mother could not understand, because at home, i was talkative. so she was shocked...

i did bet therapy when she found out...i didnt say much to him either....

to this day, i still have trouble speaking when i am in large groups of people. its part of my make-up, anxiety if you will, and that has nothing to do with my family.

no one in my family has suffered from any kind of anxiety disorder, mabye i got it from my grandparents, i dont know.

it takes me a while to get comfortable with people, it doesnt mean i suffered any family childhood trauma or issues.

in fact, it would actually be the opposite, my family and my home, were the only place i felt safe enough to talk.

i do believe the underlying cause is an anxiety disorder. not a family issue.

some kids, including myself, actually develope asthma when they are young due to anxiety...but that doesnt mean that its family related, they are just anxious kids. they do grow out of it....thats why they call it childhood asthma and they relate to anxiety.

kids or people, are just so complex, we are all so different and we react differently to certain situations...its just our makeup..

there are no rights or wrongs, sometimes there really isnt anyone to blame, it is just who we are...and then if we need extra help to overcome some of our 'issues' we do, some learn to adjust to who they are, some need medication, some just grow out of it....

that is one of my biggest issues with schools, if children do not all act like the same, then they must have 'issues'. If a boy is running around the classroom, then he must have ADHD, when maybe he just likes to run because he is a child.

they have more kids dx with ADHD now then ever before....its because if kids arent acting like every other kid, then there has to be a big problem...

when in fact, maybe there just isnt, its just who they are...

[Dr. Art]

I certainly don't mean to make you defensive, D-4-2. Elective mutism is an anxiety disorder. There is abundant literature that shows that how a family manages a child's anxiety plays a central role in how the symptoms develop or not. School phobia, elective mutism, and separation anxiety are all anxiety disorders that have strong family dimensions. The family milieu is a central focus of effective treatments for these conditions. One does not treat the child individually, but uses family interventions to change the family dynamics.

I am not casting aspersions on your family, merely pointing out the facts of these disorders etiology and what current empirical literature, and clinical practice support. It does not mean you had a "bad" family or a "sick" family.

regards

[dadfor2]

actually, im not defensive at all....

is there anything you can say what parents are doing, or what my parents might of done to cause this anxiety disorder?

i still dont agree with that it was because of my family unit, but i have no sciectific evidence to back me up either.

but hey, if there is some truth to it, what are the parents doing? so at least we can stop doing it, so we dont have to deal with seperation anxiety, selective mutism, etc.

im sure alot of parents have experienced seperation anxiety from their kids, i know i did.....but i have no idea what i did to have caused that reaction...

any suggestions would be helpful

[Dr. Art]

I really can't speak to your specific situation because each family and individual and child is different. Perfectly good families and parents can have these difficulties and it really is no reflection on the parents or the child. Family processes can amplify a pre-existing anxiety disorder and then, because of circumstances, one has separation anxiety, elective mutism, school phobia. These are general "true-isms." In any event, it sounds like you have largely come to terms with that and that these are not significant problems anymore; in the end that is what is most important: one's ability to lead a life that one is comfortable with leading.

regards

[Kimberj71]

MLH,

I just wanted to let you know that one of my friend's biological sons had selective mutism. It actually started at a very young age...about 3 years old, but they didn't realize it was a problem until he started kindergarten. She would always tell us he talked a ton at home, but he never spoke around anyone else.

Once he was diagnosed, he worked with a therapist through the school system who worked with his kindergarten teacher. His was completely anxiety driven. He was afraid of people laughing at what he said or thinking he was stupid. Which is interesting because he is an extremely bright child. It took a year, but now, you would never know that he had spent 2 years of his life selectively mute. He speaks up in class, and happily speaks to children in playgroups as well as adults. It's simply amazing the turn around. For what it's worth, his younger brother shows no signs of selective mutism.

It's not just an adoption thing. It's not just an enviromental thing either. As I'm sure Dr. Art would agree, an individual's personal characteristics, including personality, play a role in how they interact with the environment. I would not be overly concerned about your younger son. Just be aware, so that you can identify any early signs.

Good luck with your older sons therapy! How great that you have found a good therapist for him.

Kim

[ndoscoptec]

Kim,
You pretty much described my son as far as when it really started (about age 2-3) and when it became an obvious problem (kindergarten) and how talkative he is at home.

He is doing well after 6 months of therapy. I am hoping he does as well as your friends son. Our therapist says one family he worked with recently contacted him after a year because now their son who was selectivly mute is talking back to his teachers.

Thanks for the personal account and encouragement!
MLH

[shanpan]

These posts are pretty old -- I just want to point out the SM has been determined to be hereditary as is social anxiety. Home factors may influence the severity of the disorder, but do not cause it.

SMCanada is holding a workshop on May 14, 2005, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.
Guest speakers include child psychiatrist Dr. Deborah Reisner, art and family therapist Nicola Sherwin-Roller, pharmacist Brenda Yuzdepski, craniosacral therapist Linda Fisher, as well as Shannon Panchyshyn for SMCanada.
Workshop topics include: obtaining an accurate diagnosis and finding treatment for your child, helping your child understand anxiety, anger management for children, collaborating with your therapist, SSRI medication – making informed decisions, physical symptoms of stress, craniosacral therapy and other natural methods of stress relief, finding the support and resources that you need, all about SM, what to do while you’re on the waiting list, Sensory Integration Disorder and occupational therapy, Canadian services and research, success at school, and how SMCanada can help.
The workshop content is of interest to parents and extended family, teachers and school staff, daycare and childcare workers, psychologists, family therapists, social workers, university students, and anyone with an interest in learning to understand this exceptional group of children. Together, we invite participants to look beyond the silence into the depths of this childhood anxiety disorder.
The beautiful surroundings and retreat atmosphere of Cedar Lodge will allow families to get to know one another and find much needed support.
It is hard to describe the sense of isolation that I felt in the first several years of dealing with my daughter’s SM. I knew that people were trying to understand what was happening with Jaiden, but at the same time realized that many truly weren’t getting it. It was an incredible experience to meet other parents and children at the SMG~CAN family retreat in Baltimore last summer, and to know that I was among people who really understood what we were going through. I came away with a strong support network and new friendships, and my daughter came away with a new sense of self-confidence that shone through in everything that she did. The family aspect of the conference was invaluable, and we hope to create the same supportive atmosphere for families at our workshop in May.
As part of the workshop, we will share the story of our daughter’s challenges with SM. “A year ago, Jaiden was only able to speak with a handful of people, and every day posed a struggle. Working closely with Jaiden’s school staff, we used a variety of techniques which allowed her to experience tremendous success this year. It is impossible to express the feeling of pride and joy that I feel each morning now, as I watch Jaiden head happily off to school where she is now comfortable speaking with all staff and students. My personal goal is to help other families find the help they need to achieve this level of success with their children.
The mandate of SMCanada is to provide education and support to families facing the unique challenges of Selective Mutism. The group intends to apply for charitable status so that funds raised can be used to directly assist families with treatment.
For information regarding the SMCanada workshop please contact:
Shannon Panchyshyn
(306) 862-9192
shanpan@sasktel.net
www.selectivemutism.ca
Please note: the website is in it's infancy and we are having some technical difficulties getting information posted at the moment! New information should appear on the site daily.

[ourdreamcametru]

don't know much about this to help but my husband and I teach 5th grade sunday school and last year we had a girl in our class who would not talk to anybody anywhere except her family in her house. From what they told us there are no guidelines some kids are just that way. Her brother would talk your ears off!