[leithaakagrover]

I have two sons ages 4 and 7. We have adopted them from foster care in July of this year. They lived with us for 6 months before we adopted them. The 7 year old has alot of issues that we have dealt with and are dealing with. i.e. lying stealing sneakieness hurting himself etc.. He has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder.
He was moved through several foster placements sometimes cause they couldn't handle him and others cause he would make up accusations and they didnt want to deal with it.
I had thought we had made alot of progress and the therapist even released him from care last month. But yesterday i got called into his school and was read my rights by a police officer. And questioned by him and a social worker. I was questioned because he said i tried to pull his ears off. He even went as far as to scratch up his own ears. Luckily i got it cleared up thanks to his old caseworker talking to the investigators before I got there and I let them know his history of stories and the police officer questioned him again with this and he came clean. The problem is this the social worker said she knows he is acting out a trigger and wants to know what I did to trigger him. I thought triggers could be changing seasons, smells, etc,, How do I respond to the worker?
Also i called his therapist and he is going back in to therapy.
Plaese help with any suggestions. Thank you. I am in shock.
Also he is not even phased by this he is actually elated. So any suggestions for proper punishment would be helpful as well.

[curlyronda]

I am not familiar with your situation but maybe,and trust me this is only my speculation, maybe he was attached somewhat to his therapist and this is his way of letting you know he needs to continue therapy. Hope this isn't too far off and helps somewhat.

[dadfor2]

hi,

lucyjoy, where are u? Your story sounds very familiar to mine, we are pre-adoptive parents, 5 & 7 yr old siblings.

we decided to wait on the adoption due to the seven yr olds behavior to see if we can actually handle him.

he was dx with RAD when he was removed from his bmom,however, as time went on,they decided that it wasnt a proper DX.

well, after the last 5 months and us taping his behaviors, they finally agreed,even though it is not RAD, its major attachement issues.

I am no expert, but the advice i got from this forum has helped me out alot, i cant tell you how much. Get as much information as you can on RAD. Your looking at a lifelong journey with this. It doesnt go away after the child is placed in your home for 1-2 yrs.

IM not sure if your two are siblings. I have been reading alot, and one of the things they mention is that sometimes, placing siblings together with attachment issues who come from abusive homes, is not the best idea. IT causes them to relive their trauma.

Our sons counselor mentioned that he is so traumatized being in our home, he is at high risk to be with us. WE know we cant go on the way were going, but our hearts are so broken.

get an attachment therapist in your area, there are quite a few sites that deal with RAD. look at 'the little prince' site. they have attachment therapist there.

good luck to you, were still on the fence if we can actually still do this. Were still waiting for him to get into this program, im on two hours of sleep a night now. Im drained and i feel im losing my mind and my patience.

Once he is out of the home, it will give us a break and figure out what our next step will be. Were not sure if we can take him back, and thats what hurts, but we will see at the end of this 45 day inpatient eval if hes stable enough to come back.

god bless you
dadfor2