[Ellie-Mae]

We wanted to adopt a sibling group. People who have done the same recommended that we use our local county for MAPP class and adopt children who are in the foster care system.

So that is what we have been doing.

We found two children (brother and sister) in another state who would fit perfectly in our family.

Our county has bucked us all the way. Making up policies that didn't exsist and then changing their stories when we showed that we knew better. they are even keeping our Aunt's (who lives with us) fingerprints instead of sending them in like they said that they would.

When it finally looked like we were finally within days of getting the children, they sent in a recommendation that we not have any children to come to live with us. When we got the recommendation, it was filled with lies and exaggerations, some of which they KNOW we can prove otherwise.

We had to retain a lawyer and set up a fair treatment hearing because they won't budge. I don't get it. they don't have anything real on us. Can they really keep these children from having a loving family that really wants them based on lies?? Can this really happen?

I go through bouts where I feel like my heart is being ripped out. My other kids are also worried that the kids aren't coming. I am trying to not cause them to worry while trying to deal with this myself.

My husband is great, and is handling most of the technical stuff. We are doing the best that we can, but we feel like we are going through this blind. We have felt like we have been feeling our way through throughout this whole process, and I feel like we might have fallen into a pit.

I am sorry for such a long sob story, but there is a book of stuff that I can write on about what has been happening.

Has anyone else been through this? Has anyone else been to a fair treatment hearing?

BTW: none of their complaints against us have anything to do with our ability to be good parents except that they are saying that I neglected my daughter's speech delay which I (and them) have the paperwork to prove otherwise.

We could really use encouragement if there is any to be had and prayers are always welcome.

Thank you.

[tlmerrie]

I haven't had that happen to me, but I did early on come across a caseworker at the juvenile court here who absolutely couldn't stand us because we're lesbians. It made it very hard to protect our niece and we lost her and wound up fighting in another state.

We have her back now and will terminate rights on Friday (very freaked out and nervous). We don't have to deal with her now, but I still despise that woman for what she did to my little one. Some people just aren't interested in kids and families first. You did the right thing to hire an attorney. Good luck.

Amy

[longingtomeetyou]

said a prayer for you
remember God knows whats going on .....
lean on Him during this time ....im sure you do....
that will get you through the rough times.....
God bless hon

[Ellie-Mae]

Amy,

thank you for sharing and your encouragement. I think that we may be facing discrimination (of a different sort) as well.

The deputy comissioner asked our case worker what we would have to do to make improve things in her opinion (this was earlier on), she said that they were only at the beginning of their home study, but that there was nothing that we could say or do to change her mind. (BTW: The "concerns" that she had then was not even mentioned in the final recommendations.)

We thought that she had been taken off our case.

These children have already been freed for adoption. All of their other siblings have already been adopted out. They have been recently sent to a group home because we couldn't get things straight here before their foster placement was disrupted.

We are so frusterated.

I wished that we had gotten a lawyer sooner. what ever happened to "for the good of the children"?

Amy, Why are you feeling freaked out about the termination hearing? Do you think that they could change their minds?

Ellie

[Ellie-Mae]

Longingtomeetyou,

Thank you.

Ellie

[mrsred]

Ellie-Mae, prayers being sent up for you. Be confident in the right outcome, at the right time God hates injustice even more than we do.

[tlmerrie]

Ellie-
You didn't get an attorney too late. It sounds like you got one just in time! And take heart in the encouragement you receive here. We are all rooting for you.

As for the termination. It's hard to say. I didn't anticipate this. We lost our niece once. We had to hand her back to her meth addict mother who tried to kill her first child. So, there's that. When a child comes to your home, they bring their hurt and pain with them. And you see it, and you take it on. And then I guess, it's just that this has been a long struggle. I've gotten use to a certain amount of drama and crisis from dealing with the bio mom. I've found on this site that what I'm feeling is pretty common, which helps to know. But I think that after three and a half years, and watching my niece pay the price of it, I've learned how brutal the system can be. It doesn't occur to you when you start something like this how it can be. I always assumed that we would only encounter support from people who were concerned about children. But, it turns out, there are some people who just have their own agendas, and kids aren't on them. There are wonderful and helpful angels out there too, who will push you along and make things happen, but they are up against a hard system too.

I'm glad to hear you have a lawyer. You might need your lawyer again later (though I hope not) and it will be good to already have someone you trust on your side who will fight for your family.

I am anxious to hear what happens.

Amy

[mj77]

I haven't gone through what you have but I do understand long unfair drawn-out cases. I'm saying a prayer for your family that ultimately God's will be done.

[Ellie-Mae]

I am getting ready to meet with our lawyer today. Please pray for us.

Thank you.

[Juliana13]

Good luck. Hope all goes well. My heart goes out to you, and mostly to those beautiful children.

Hang in there. We are keeping our fingers crossed and prayers going for you!

[kelceesmom]

We are sending prayers your way that everything goes well for your family.

[Ellie-Mae]

Thanks for the prayers! Our appointment with the lawyers was canceled. Why? Because our lawyer's office could not get the information they need from the county about the case, the policies in question, and the hearing procedures. They called it the "discovery" information, and the attorney's office was trying to contact the judge to get the information released to them.

The thing is that I don't think that they have any written policy that says that they can't allow more than six children in a home where children are going to be adopted, and the NYS laws don't agree with them. I think that they are going to have a hard time backing up legally what they wrote in their home study report. Hubby and I think that this could be the reason for the delay, but they can't delay forever...

[tlmerrie]

When do you expect to hear back? Isn't there a deadline for discovery?

Amy

[Ellie-Mae]

I don't know, and i don't know. We were so encouraged that we didn't think to ask! lol. i will try to find out.

[Ellie-Mae]

Well, we had another appointment with our attorney. Our county still hasn't sent them the appropriate ppaper work, so he sent in a demand for it. I guess that they will only have 21 days to send the stuff once they get the demand.

We are pulling together witnesses and pics for the hearing.

I just can't believe this is happening to us. Why are they doing this to these innocent kids whose lives are on hold? Haven't they been through enough already?