[Kendahl]

Hi Everyone --

My wife and I are in the process of choosing a country from which to adopt. Our hearts are with Poland, but we keep coming back to a question: If there is a waiting list among Polish families for healthy infants, how does a healthy orphan ever reach the age of 1 and become available for international adoption? Doesn't it follow that all or most orphans available for international adoptions would not be "desirable"/healthy?? Please let me know your experience or opinion. Thanks in advance. --Ken

[Anita]

There is no question Polish Nationals get first choice when it comes to the children available for adoption in Poland.

Health is a concern, no matter which country you choose. My research brought us to Poland, and I am confident there is a healthy child waiting to be a part of our family.

It is a leap of faith. Good luck in you decision.

[PolishMom]

Ken -

Please be careful when you say 'desirable' children. ALL children are desirable, it just matters what issues/problems your family is willing or able to take on.

My son was adopted from Poland at the age of 7 years. Because of various legal issues, he was in the orphanage from age 8 months. Healthy? Absolutely! He didn't see the doctor, except for his initial checkup, until he was home for 13 months due to an ear infection. Other issues? Absolutely! (Who wouldn't after spending almost your entire life in an institution). All situations are unique and need to be evaluated separately.

You didn't indicate in your posting, but if you are only looking to adopt an healthy infant under 1, Poland would be a difficult place to adopt from with that criteria. But, if you are willing to accept an older toddler or youth, Poland is a great place to choose. At the same time we were in Poland beginning our adoption, there was another couple there finalizing theirs with a 2.5 year old, healthy young boy.

I wish you the best in whatever your family decides.....

[Kendahl]

Heather --

Sorry for any offense caused by using the term, "undesirable." I was only using it to be clear on the meaning -- I see this term used often in adoption literature. I, too, bristle at the term and that is why I put it in quotes. Just wanted to be sure that my meaning was clear.

I, too, believe that all children, regardless of their health, race, nationality, etc. are blessings and are desirable. Again, apologies for any offense.

--Ken

[lindag]

We adopted our son at age 3. He had been on the cover of their adoption magazine they publish and had been highlighted numbers of times. The reason he had not been adopted from a Polish family was because he had a grandfather that had been a slow learner. Because genes are so important and the norm is for generation to take care of generation he was found undesirable. While we have had some challenges and he does receive special aid in school he is a loving, giving child that I have not second guessed bringing home once. He has been tested numerous times and continues to come up on the low end of the IQ scale no one is certain if this is the issue or more of a language/understanding issue at the time of testing.

[PolishMom]

Linda -

I have never heard of a magazine that is published? Can you give us more information? Do you know if it is available on-line?

[lindag]

I don't, it was something that was published in Poland. While we were meeting with the people at the Orphanage during our first visit hey showed us a copy where Nick had made the front cover. We adopted our son almost 4 years ago from Lodz.

[Adopted4]

As with anywhere there are healthy children as well as not so healty ones. All of the children need homes and in my experience, though we were asked to try to help find homes for the children with special needs, the orphanage director never pushed us in that direction.

Yes, Polish nationals are given first chance to adopt the children, as Poland tries very hard to keep their children in Poland if possible. If you are open to siblings, you have a much better chance of adopting from Poland.

We adopted four siblings from Poland a little over two years ago. They were very straight-forward in telling us that the oldest boy had some serious behavioral problems. We knew that we were taking a risk in adopting him, but felt that their "family" should be kept together. Unfortunately, as our 13 year old son has reached puberty, things have gotten worse, but we are hanging in there and have hope that he will still be able to change.

Our other three children, now ages 6, 8, and 15 (the only girl), have adjusted well and are the biggest joy in my life!

I hesitate to post anything negative because I'm always concerned that a child or children may not receive the home they need and deserve because I haven't worded something right. I feel, however, that if you choose to adopt an older child you must be prepared to deal with the effect that some of their pasts will continue to have on them.

In general, Poland was a wonderful place to adopt from. We adopted independently, using a very nice lady lawyer in Poland. The staff at the orphanage were wonderful and truely cared about their children. Each child had his or her "Aunt" at the orphanage who took a personal interest in the child. Also the surrounding community all became involved in insuring that the children had the things, and roll models, that they needed.

Be ready to "grease some palms", but it appeared that the money did go to the orphanages and not to individuals. They need financial help and aren't shy about letting you know. Just go in with the right attitude and give what you can and you'll end up feeling really good about it.

I won't probably watch this board very carefully, but I will check it from time to time... as I have time! I would be happy to answer honestly any questions you may have for me.

The Blessed Mom of Four!

[attymama]

Would you please share the name of the lady lawyer you used in Poland? We are considering independent adoption from Poland.
Angelina

[Crie]

Hi Adopted 4,

Could you also let me have the name of your Polish lawyer? Many thanks! We are moving to Warsaw in August - a fantastic opportunity to adopt from Poland!! Many thanks,

Crie