[MenloAve]

I'm packing for our second trip to go pick up our soon-to-be daughter!!! No court date yet - but I might as well start going through what we have been given and decide what to take.

I realized that M only wore dresses the four days we were there during the first trip and always had tights on. My question is do little girls in Poland (2-4) wear shorts at all or do they always wear dresses? Do they always wear tights, even with shorts? If so, what type of tights (how thick do you buy)? Also, we received a few shirts with just capped sleeves or tie sleeves. Would they be considered acceptable? We will most likely be there end of June/July/early August.

Oh, and did the sizes you measured on the first trip pretty much fit when you went back for the second trip?

I know to bring a hat no matter the temperature and a light coat just in case there is any type of breeze. But the tight concept and shorts just confused me this week. Thank you,

[hylo]

We were there during the winter and only for one trip, but we never even once thought "what is acceptable."

They were our kids, and they'll be wearing what WE want them to wear. (Within reason of course). I'm not much of a girly girl person and refused to dress up my girl in tights and skirts in the freezing wintery weather. I brought her beautiful cordouroy purple pants with matching long sleeve shirt. Both my boys and the girl came to us wearing tights under their clothes. I was appalled that ALL kids wear tights under their clothes and when they go to an inside playground they actually take their pants off and remain playing in tights. There's nothing less appealing to me than seeing a bunch of boys wearing tights running around on a playground.

Then there was the trip to the swimming pool - the Polish people are still in the last century when it comes to bathing suits. All men wear speedos. All kids wear speedos.

Well, forget it, these were my kids, and they were going to wear what American kids wear. It was thick jeans and a sweatshirt for the outside, and normal American bathing suit for the swimming pool.

So what if they looked foreigners. Why do I care?! They were comfortable, they were happy, and that's all that mattered to me. I wasn't registering them for any fashion shows anyway. And no one was checking up on me to see how I was dressing my kids. I never got any looks from anyone about how I dressed my kids (though I got a lot of second looks when they realised I had THREE kids).

PLUS, I have fantastic photos of my kids wearing normal clothes and not something that may have been more "appropriate" in Poland.

Go with your own taste in fashion. I don't see a reason why you should do what others think is acceptable. This is YOUR child. These are going to be your future photos and memories for your child forever. Get the clothes you want for your precious girl, and forget about what is "acceptable."

The ONLY time you should take into considerations the customs of the place is when you go to court.

But you know what, even then, I was told to wear a nice dress - forget it! I wore nice pants and no one CARED! Our Psychologist wore a pant suit.

Good luck with the packing!

[Jenmullett]

Thanks for posting this, I had similar questions. When we met our daughter she wore tights on most of the visits and dresses usually. But not every visit. I wondered if it was just more common to cover their legs and arms. They also put a little bonnet on her head every time she was outside or in the hallways. We could take it off when we were visiting in a room with her though. I figured it may have been because the orphanage is run by an order of nuns.

In any event...we have all kinds of summery clothes, shorts, comfy pants, t-shirts, and I now feel a bit more comfortable packing them - thanks! I may bring some tights and a dress for court or something, but on the warm summer days...it will good old american cute comfy clothes.

[LisArno]

Our 4 year old girl had dresses (mainly jean jumpers) and tights on everyday when we picked her up from the orphanage in Sept (temps in the 70s). She still loves dresses. Our 10 year old was in a foster home and came a few times in a jumper - w/ striped socks/sandals. Living in Germany, I was used to non-American styles. A few times my son was dressed in corduroy pants with flowered ribbons stitched on the pockets and he once wore a girl's coat. Once home (Germany), I bought him "boy tights" to wear in the winter. In his German kindergarten, some kids run around in those and a long shirt.

As far as photos go, I liked that they were dressed in "Polish" clothes and we can have fun looking at the folders when they get older.

[MenloAve]

Our soon-to-be daughter had on a jean dress the first day we met her as well What a cutie

I can see the benefit of just taking whatever you are comfortable with and then also trying to blend in a bit. Whenever we travel internationally we always try to match our clothing so that we don't stick out so much. We'll be in a small town for our bonding which gets zero tourism so we will easily stick out like a sore thumb. My guess is that in a small town that people will have no issues telling us how we have dressed the kids inappropriately. Maybe it is different with the cities that have more tourism.

My past experience with kids clothes in eastern europe was about a year ago when we were in Moldova. It was winter so every mom and babushka had an opinion on ds's clothes. My ds hated being bundled up so I mainly just smiled, pretended not to understand and moved on. One day, my ds didn't want to put his hat on. It wasn't that cold so I didn't push it really. I had three ladies ask me if he was cold and I just said no. However, when an older gentleman came up to me insisting that I put a hat on my ds, I felt like I must have reached a limit. So I was a bit more forceful in asking ds to put his hat on. He did just so that people would stop asking him if he was cold. Maybe people don't care so much in the summer.

[Mom2_4]

Since I look very Polish, my husband and I went with the "when in Rome do as the Roman's do" as not to stick out any more than we already did ~~ travelling around Poland with hubby, bio son, my mother, and three kids who had not been outside of an orphanage for 3 years attracted enough notice.

[jola_nyc]

I also think nobody will mind the way you dress or you dress your child but....even that you might look like everyone around you in Poland,you are in another country and the way they dress is different. On our last visit we wanted to see an opera but my husband didn't bring a suit with him. We were told in visitor center that man has to wear suit to the Opera House and if he has shirt and tie he might be OK in Philharmonic Hall. Recently we went to Broadway show in NYC. I know Broadway show is not an opera but half of the people were wearing t-shirts and almost everyone in the audience was wearing jeans. My mom doesn't own a pair of pants because she thinks her legs are too fat and too short (not true and it doesn't stop anyone in USA from wearing pants).My father doesn't own a pair of jeans because he thinks he is too old for them. That is what he told me when I wanted to send him a pair of jeans. The younger generation is becoming more westernize. My niece(12) has plenty pants which she wears with girl's tops. I don't think she has any unisex t-shirts.She sleeps only in nightgowns not pajamas. Tights are very popular with the younger kids. Bonnets are also very popular with little ones. Sometimes they are hand made. Polish people don't dress kids like a grown up. One of the reason is they cannot afford Levi's jacket and pants for 1 year old.

[MenloAve]

Thank you. We got a tentative court date, waiting for the official date and bonding period. We were told we might have just a few days notice before we need to leave so I'm back to packing.

I do appreciate the information on what kids are wearing. Interesting re: the nightgown vs. pajamas. I have packed on of both just in case she prefers one over the other. I have a few dresses, a few shorts and a few pants. I've packed one jacket, just in case it rains or is cold at night. And then some girl tops. I'm also bringing a bathing suit. I've got one pair of tennis type shoes and one pair of water shoes.

Speaking of this, does anyone have their packing list from their second trip (or the trip to go bring your kids home?) Our daughter is older so we don't need bottles, etc. However, I'm packing pull-ups since they are in the process of potty training her.

[hybell]

As far as clothes, think about what they feel like as much as what they look like. My 4 year old son couldn't stand the netting on American-style bathing suits. It was summer, but he had never had his bare feet shoved in a pair of shoes. We spent a year in sandals with socks and spandex swimsuits. No problem.

For a toddler/ preschooler, I would bring a sippy cup or two with the removable suction valve to prevent spills. Pull ups for any child under 7 or so, particularly for the airplane ride home, are a necessity. If your child is only just now being potty trained, I would bring diapers, and consider retro-training (going back to diapers) for the trip home, at least. She will be traumatized, and likely to regress anyway.

Bring some children's tylenol, benedryl, and topical antibiotic. I had the darndest time buying those, even in Warsaw. Don't worry about snacks, clothes, and toys too much. Most of that seems easy to buy in-country.

Good luck and enjoy your time with her!