[Jenmullett]

Hi All - it has been a quiet board lately!

I thought I would ask about everyone's status.

For those who are considering adopting, how is it going? Any challenges in deciding on agency or any questions for the group?

For those who are paperchasing, how is that madness proceeding? Any Dossiers being turned in soon?

For those waiting (I'll raise my hand here), how is the wait? Any referrals? Preparations?

For those home, how is your new year going? How are your kids and what is new?

Quick update on my end - we are still waiting. We had preliminary put a preference for two siblings, but that seemed a bit picky so we changed it to 1 or 2 kids. We hope every day for a call! We have an empty room with no furniture that will be the kid's/kids' room. We just don't know what to buy until we know how old he/she/they will be! Our lives will be upside down when we accept a referral, but that's just how it goes, right?

Hope all is well with everyone!

[momraine]

Great thread! We have been home two years with our little guy from Poland and he is doing great. He just got a progress report from school and is above average in every subject. He competed in an academic competition in story telling and came in third against kids in several other schools. He is out of ESL and his English is great. The wait now seems like not so much of a big deal, though at the time it was awful! It has been worth it and things are going great, its like he has always been a part of our family.

[mschaefer]

We met our twin 3 y.o. daughters 1 year ago on January 31st. We have been home since March and it has been quite busy.

Our daughters are doing well, as is our son who had quite an adjustment going from an only child to have TWO sisters

They are attending a preschool x2/week where one (M) gets occupational therapy and speech therapy and the other (E) one gets physical therapy.

M was found to have elevated lead levels when we arrived home, likely the cause of her language delays and sensory processing issues. She is progressing well and VERY active , but also very sweet and caring. She is always concerned about other children and loves to "take care" of her baby cousins.

E just had eye surgery last week for exotopia (her eye turned out) and is recovering well. E is quite the chatterbox and social butterfly. You would never know that English was not her native language (although at home she still uses her favorite Polish vocabulary -- at school she <sighs> and "translates" for her teachers). She is also our drama queen/actress, no story is without lots of facial expressions and intonations.

They are showing separation anxiety and love to fight over who gets to cuddle with mama and tata -- we never thought we'd actually "cheer" when a child cried during our departure Fortunately once they are comfortable with people (e.g. school, family, friends) we only get a "miss you" and a grumpy look rather than a scream.

We still remember the grueling wait -- but it was sooo worth it!

[lastpaige]

Ahh . . . home sweet home . . . Our 9 year old twin boys have been home for 15 months and what a ride it has been.

The first year we left simply to learn the basics of our family life. What a family is, how it operates, trusting Mommy and Tata, common protocol, character, faith, how to brush your teeth, household operations, obedience, safety, etc. We also used that time to let them stabilize physically. They had a lot of dental work done, are on supplements for imbalanced neurotransmitters, and have napped every day for two hours up until this last month. (Lesson – do not underestimate the sleep your adoptive children may have lost in their life prior to coming home with you!) That year of simple and quiet and predictable days has been such a blessing to them. All of us, really.

Something unexpected - we knew our medical expenses would increase for the boys once they were home, but they increased for me as well. I ended up with arthritis that was being inflamed by stress and am seeing a chiropractor for it. This caught me off guard as I’m a generally go-with-the-flow kind of gal, but alas, it had caught up with me. I would never have thought that I would have been impacted physically by the adoption. I’m neither incapacitated or regretful – it was just unexpected and I’d like others to not be caught off guard.

Both boys struggle with a lack of logic/common sense. I found some articles about Cumulative Cognitive Deficit and took an online course to help fill in the gaps it leaves behind. It was amazing, but made perfect sense that these children are missing a lot of academic building blocks that we take for granted.

In January (2009) we started the boys in their academic work. They love studying like their big sisters and are so happy to be at home. I think math is their favorite, but they sure do feel fancy every time they sound out a new word when we read together. When Padme (bio daughter, 12) is getting ready to do a science experiment they know where to go and what to do to help as she reads the instructions. They learn as much as she does and love to explain what happened to Tata when he comes home.

Lando is coming along very well, and Han Solo continues to have character issues. We’re working hard to teach him about choices/actions and their consequences, and he’s s l o w l y learning that the truth is always a better choice.

We did have a funny/not-so-funny yesterday. We’ve recently moved and thus have started using a new dentist. The dentist was examining Lando and said something about his chapped lips. Lando thought he said something else so he said, “Oh, that’s where my mom PUNCHED me.” Thankfully my husband then asked Lando, in English, “Your FIRST mom, or your FOREVER mom?” Lando of course responded, “My FIRST mom!”

If nothing else, this has taught us humility and patience!

We continue to pray for those waiting. Looking back I can’t believe that we waited so long – like labor it seems to have been such a blink of an eye once you’re on the other side of it.

Praying those children HOME!

[PolishMom]

Great post here Jennifer!

I seem to be one of the older folks here on the Polish board but I thought I'd update for everyone to see how things are going.

Son, D, was adopted 7.5 years ago. He is now 14 and one of the best sons you could every hope for. I'll be honest, the first couple of years were hard. He had ADHD to the fullest, extreme SID, and a multitude of cognitive disabilities. The "H" in ADHD is now completely gone and the SID has disappeared as well, after years of therapy. I truly also believe it just took time for him to settle into life outside an orphanage (He was in an orphanage for almost his entire first 7 years of life). We just discovered that he also suffers from sleep apnea which may be the cause of some of his cognitive disabilities. On the flip side of all that alphabet gunk, he is the best basketball player his 8th grade coach has ever seen and he is being fought over for next fall between next years Freshman football and soccer coaches. In addition, he loves attending church group and has more friends than I ever did in middle school.

Daughter, Z, adopted 3.5 years ago. She will be 13 in a couple of weeks and comes with her own set of letters. She has RAD and PTSD and has finally decided it is ok to talk to a therapist about her experiences in Poland (praise God!). She has been a totally different challenge than her brother. The RAD is not fun and even she will acknowledge that. I believe we are "lucky" because we got her early enough and I think she is on the healing side of RAD. Again, not wanting to focus on the negative, Z is great to have around when the RAD monster is not rearing its ugly head. She has one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen, loves to cook Polish food, and is working hard in school. She is still in ELL classes for math and reading. She has set a goal to be out of ELL math this year and her teacher says there is no reason to believe that she couldn't make that goal.

And....introducing daughter A, home with us only a short 2.5 months. She is only 2 weeks younger than Z so in a very short time, we will be a family of 4 teenagers. A is from Poland as well, but not in a conventional way. I can't speak too much about her situation as her adoption is not yet final but I can say she is the product of a disrupted adoption. Yes, unfortunately it even happens with our little ones from Poland. And we all thought Poland was a long bonding period....we can't officially adopt her in the US until after a 6 month period! It has been an unusual transition for our family for this little one, simply because she already speaks English! What a novel idea to be able to speak to her and understand her wants, needs, fears, concerns, etc. A is extremely smart (only one of my kids to make the honor roll this past term), loves to read, is curious about everything, and loves to gives hugs.

D won't talk about Poland anymore although he will admit to friends that Polish is his birthplace. Z and A both like to talk about Poland and, to this day, miss Polish food (although we eat a lot of it in our home). Z has kept up her language by attending a local Polish Saturday School. A has expressed interest in relearning her native tongue. The kids are all excited because we do plan on visiting Poland this summer, taking a tour to visit all the places we didn't get to see when we were there and, for some of them, visiting with former foster families and orphanages.

Whew! More than you probably wanted to know but that's an update on us.

[KerryGaeltacht]

Our Dossier should be complete soon. The only snag we seem to have reached is getting DH fingerprinted.
He is unfortunately deployed to Iraq and the only thing he can do is try to get them at the embassy in Baghdad. Ummm... yeah, like that's gonna be an easy task.
So we shall keep our fingers crossed, he gets through some red tape.

[mama08]

This is a fun thread! Friday the 13th was our 1 year anniversary home with our son! I can hardly believe it!! He turned 3 the last week of January and is wonderful! Unfortunately my husband has been deployed since July, and won't be home until this August. So he basically had 6 months home with our son before he left. L will be a different child when Daddy gets home We do get to send messages to Daddy every few days via webcam, so he gets to see L somehow.

L speaks and understands English very well. After being home about 7 months his language just seemed to explode. He goes to preschool Tues & Thurs at our church. He received ECI services for speech from June through Jan. He is super friendly, happy, and outgoing. We talk about Poland most days and he does seem to have a lot of memories from his time in the orphanage (his first 23 months). He loves looking at all of the pictures from our time in Poland, and talking about all of the people we spent time with while there. I am really starting to see strong signs of attachment now, and that's a good thing!

Don't give up hope during the long wait for your referral. I still haven't forgotten the long 11 months, but it is starting to fade.
Kelly

[Jenmullett]

Kelly - August must seem so far away for your family! Glad to hear your little guy has taken to language, preschool and attaching!!

Thanks all for responding to this thread! Happy to read updates on everyone's year.

As another quick update on our end...we may have some good news based on a call we got in the past couple of days. You know how it goes at the beginning. Hope to be posting an update here and on our blog soon. If you are curious, PM me and I will let you know about the call we got.

[momraine]

Woo hooo, good news I hope! I will be keeping you and all who are waiting in my prayers.

[lastpaige]

Got the chills with your top secret happenings! Can't wait to hear!