[lastpaige]

To share a bit about our first year as a 6-member family, I thought I’d post this letter I wrote to our sons. For those who have gone before, perhaps you’ll nod and smile at a few similarities. For those who are in the trenches of their first few months home – don’t give up – what a difference a year makes! And for those waiting, waiting, waiting, don’t stop. Once your children are home you’ll see - the wait was worth every second!

Blessings to All

My Dear Sons . . .

We have gone a full year being a family of 6.

You probably don’t realize, but here’s how it started . . .

Your tata and I were manipulated by our adoption facilitator (unsuccessfully, thanks be to God). We spread our family all over the globe. We spent 2 months in a post-communist country where I didn’t understand a word and spent an exorbitant amount of money to do it. We lived through 8 year old boys introduced to us as severely ADHD, who by all accounts, certainly exhibited those traits in 5th gear every waking moment. We got our entire family home where I spent the next 6 months on the phone with my husband on speaker translating for me when the boys were in more trouble than my vocabulary could manage. (Half a dozen times a day to start!) We’ve spent 75% of the last year doing intensive damage control, physical, emotional, and spiritual, and the other 25% of the time we were simply asleep.

As you know, I’ve lived through some pretty serious things in my life, but I’m telling you, this past year has seen peaks and valleys I never before thought possible. But while it seems the bad is always the focus, let me tell you what has been accomplished around here.

You have both learned, now understand, and consistently exhibit the following . . .

Brush your teeth well.
How to wash up and shower.
How to use the toilet, leave it clean, and wash their hands afterwards.
Make your beds.
Keep your room and clothing in order.
What to do with dirty clothes and how to fold clean laundry.
How to interrupt a conversation politely.
How to greet adults.
That you don’t greet every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a tackle/hug combination.
How to use an interpreter properly.
That identity swapping is NOT an option.
Respond to everything with “Yes Mom” or “Tak Tato” or “Yes Ma’am/Sir”.
To wait until the ladies at the table are seated before taking their seats.
How to eat with table manners (eat slowly, mouth closed, proper utensils, etc.)
To select toys, play with them properly, and put them away when finished.
To keep the water pitcher full.
Take out garbage and recycling.
How to help in the kitchen.
How to help clean the various rooms in the house.
Help with the maintenance of the church grounds with their Tata.
Be gentle with babies, protective of those younger/smaller, and respectful of the elderly.
How to assist their sisters in and out of vehicles, hold doors, etc.
How to stay close, hold hands or stay “on the shopping cart” when running errands.
How to obey (most of the time).
How to pray.
How to trust.
How to love and be loved.

You are almost 9 years old. For most 9 year old boys, I wouldn’t think this list terribly impressive. But for you, my sons, who have only had this past year in a family, I think this is a pretty good foundation. We have spent our time at home, training, training, training, having lots of long quiet days, you have learned what a family is, and the rest of us have learned who you are.

January will start your academic career. In your native country you were doubly institutionalized (living at the orphanage and attending public school) and we got to see their classroom – (there was no academic work going on there), so you have no academic history of which to speak. I am excited that you are looking forward to more formal work like your big sisters. By the end of next year you will be reading!

I love so many things about your personalities. You love Star Wars movies and the Polish bible. You sing everything from The Gloria Patri to classical Italian to Queen’s We Will Rock You. You are loving, appreciative, and give the best hugs on the planet. You love naps and football and going to church. You are sympathetic to a worthy cause and love to be helpful. You both want to work hard to become men, because then you can get a wife. That’s a pretty lofty goal for 8 year old boys, and I’m proud of you for it.

Thank you, my dear sons, for pressing through this difficult first year home. We sure have cried a lot around here, and you know how much work it has been. But my goodness - you have learned more in one year than many boys your age who have come from more traditional backgrounds.

I am so happy you are home, and thankful that God made you and gave you to me.

Ja Ciebie Kocham,
Mama

[momraine]

That's very sweet. I have an 8 year old boy myself who has been home almost two years and we are still working on some of that stuff.

[mama08]

Beautiful!

[Kama]

Very nice! Congratulations.