[Kama]

Once in a while I see threads on other country boards about searches for Birthparents/Siblings and wonder if anyone on the Poland board has done it? I have mixed feelings about this, but it may come up with our kids at some point. Our son especially remembers an older sister and other relative, and he actually has some good memories of them.

[LisArno]

I wonder about that too...

My 11 year old and I just had a good/mature talk two weeks ago about life before her foster family. She asked about her youngest sibling. We were told our children did not know about the baby, so this was a surprise. She wondered why we didn't adopt him too. All we know is that he was not to be adopted with his siblings, but I have a few possible reasons, and I shared those with her.

[momraine]

I did find my daughter's Russian parents, but not our son's Polish parents. For one I know his mother is no longer living and the father and an older brother (grown) were approached many times about him and rejected him. So I have not bothered. He beleives that a man who visited him who was married to one of the ladies in a charity that took care of him was his father. I had to tell him it was not as it had given him much pain to think this nice man had visited him and played with him and never wanted to take him home. I am not sure where he got the idea that this man was his father. I think perhaps because he recieved special treatment from this group and gifts from this man. Other children got nice gifts when thier parents visited so he must have reasoned that this couple who gave him nice gifts must be his parents, except that he knew his mother had passed away so he assumed it was his father and someone else. He never told anyone in Poland about this beleif, I think he thought it was supposed to be kept secret. today he told me that he is angry I did not come and get him sooner. That hurt to hear. I don't think I will search for his parents.

[lastpaige]

Hmm . . .

I don't know my bio-father, but I have noticed (looking back) that when I've searched for him, it has beeing during times of my life where I was depressed or lonely, and looking for someone to love me. I had a God-shaped hole in my heart that I was trying to fill with my bio-father.

We simply plan on making sure that the boys know that they are LOVED beyond measure, and will look for little signs along the way that we are missing the mark.

Oh, the complicated lives these little ones have lived!