[mkrich3]

My husband and I are considering adopting from Poland. We have three daughters (5,3,2) and would like to adopt a <2 year old daughter. I have two questions:

1. Could someone please email me privately about agencies that they have used? I have investigated the existing options out there, but I would like to hear some advice from people that are not listed as 'references' by the agencies....this is such a big, expensive decision and I would really appreciate honest feedback.

2. Does having three children reduce our chances of adopting a fourth daughter? We need to be realistic about this!
Many thanks!

[Kama]

Welcome. It is a good idea to read the recent postings (about a year of so back) first. There is a wealth of information here. It is a very difficult thing to adopt a child younger than 2 from Poland, just to caution you, especially if you have gender preference. Children who are under 2 and get adopted abroad usually have some special needs, health conditions that made it difficult for them to be adopted within Poland by a Polish family. Poles do a good job adopting all of the newborns and younger toddlers who are healthy or fairly healthy. I do not have much knowledge on Poles adopting small children with disabilities, I am sure it happens, but children with special needs are usually available by adoptive parents abroad.

[mkrich3]

Thank you very much. I have read the historical listings, and this is why I asked again: one agency I have spoken with (seemed very knowledgable and networked in the area) told me that Polish authorities typically overstate medical concerns to facilitate overseas adoptions. They provided references to me to back this up, and the references checked out. (All had children with 'dire' medical concerns at referral, only to be dispelled once in the US).
I read on the message board that many posters disagreed with this idea. I was just wondering if the consensus is still the same: is this a marketing strategy used by an agency, or is it truth? Would anyone like to comment? I would really appreciate it, as this is very confusing--I would love to believe the agency, esp. bc the references checked out, but I also don't want to be mislead. Many thanks!

[mschaefer]

Our agency did not give us that information. In fact we were told that generally the reports are very close to what you will find. We have a referral but have not yet met our children so I can't comment personally yet. Local families who I have met and who have adopted through our agency have found the reports to be fairly accurate (not perfect but definitely not WAY off).

Also as Kama stated the availability of younger children is very rare. We were willing to adopt a child with special needs but did not want to change birth order -- our son is 4.5 y.o. We waited a year for a referral and our children do have some health issues reported. I'll keep you posted

[momraine]

My son actually has more issues than were presented to me. However his issues that are obvious (missing three limbs) are probably enough to discourage most adoptive parents. I have adopted from both Poland and Russia. In Russia the case is often as you have stated and the issues that are put in records turn out ot be nothing. In Poland I have not found this to be the case. They have very good medical care and so far everyone I have met or spoken to who has adopted from there has found the medicals to be completely accurate. I also had three children and adopted my fourth from Poland. The most difficult part was the six weeks in country. Leaving my other children for that long was difficult and will probably assure I would not adopt from Poland again.

[LisArno]

Our children had few medical concerns, but the info given was correct - nothing was overstated.

[Kama]

Our children were completely healthy physically and this was pretty accurate except for heart murmur in our son (was determined not dangerous) that was found by the embassy authorized dr in Poland. One minor thing was a huge cavity in our son's tooth - he threw a fit and refused to be helped by the dentist in Poland. Our children had a psychological evaluation as "extremely sensitive and crying a lot." This was not an indication of anything deeper (so far!), and actually they have calmed down within a few months (they DID cry a lot and our son had huge emotional outbursts, which was a bit troubling at first, but it is gone).

[jessipea]

It is hard to say about younger for me too! We adopted three VERY healthy children ages 3, 5, and 6. We were told they had speech delays...They DO NOT have speech delays at all! They talk all the time and are learning English quickly!

[lastpaige]

Our reports were overshot medically, and undershot historically.

Our boys were said to be "extremely active" both with severe and medicated ADHD. Both 'out of control', winged scapulas, both with stomach issues.

They don't have ADHD, they were just behaving like everyone else in the orphanage. We took them off the medication the minute they were ours.

They were only out of control because they could get away with it. Whole different story with strict parents.

Their scapulas are a bit prominent, but that has been the case in all my rather skinny bio children. This does not require the therapy that was suggested.

Stomach issues are non-existent after getting them on good food, lots of fresh fruits and veggies, less starch.

They didn't tell us that the children don't brush their teeth for longer than 15 seconds a day and had never seen a dentist.

So, guess what's first on our list to manage!

[Kama]

Just for the record, our son still needs to be reminded constantly to brush his teeth and wash carefully. Our daughter on the other hand, used to brush too long and too hard, so that we had to get a new brush every few days to a week! I do not know if it is a gender difference ( ) or a personal difference, but we figured that this does not reflect on the orphanage (5 or so staff having to remind 70 kids to brush). We are sure they were told. Our kids were taken to the dentist but our son refused to have a filling (he threw a fit, I can only imagine).

Originally Posted by lastpaige

They didn't tell us that the children don't brush their teeth for longer than 15 seconds a day and had never seen a dentist.

[dereczyk]

Hello to the group,
I have been reading the posts for awhile now but just now figured out how these forums work

We brought our kids home about 7 weeks ago and have already been to the dentist 3 times. Our 4 year old (Andrzej) loves to brush his teeth and the 8 year old (Ania) does a quick 10 second brush unless we are there watching her. So maybe it's an age thing and not gender! I must say Ania has done well at the dentist when they did multiple fillings. Next week she'll have a baby tooth pulled. I think she will do ok.

[Kama]

Hi Amy,

Good to see you here .

Kasia

Originally Posted by dereczyk

Hello to the group,
I have been reading the posts for awhile now but just now figured out how these forums work

We brought our kids home about 7 weeks ago and have already been to the dentist 3 times. Our 4 year old (Andrzej) loves to brush his teeth and the 8 year old (Ania) does a quick 10 second brush unless we are there watching her. So maybe it's an age thing and not gender! I must say Ania has done well at the dentist when they did multiple fillings. Next week she'll have a baby tooth pulled. I think she will do ok.